Window Into My Reality

Merry Christmas ! ! :D

I walked into mom's shortly after 3a.m this morning and was hit with the smell of gas. Which upon investigation we discovered that she had run out of fuel. No heat, no stove. Liston was supposed to be paying the monthy gas bill as his rent, but well...wasn't. He found some temporary tanks to bide us over until we can come up with the $600 we need to make a dent in the past due bill. And I bought some electric heaters. So. It has been a rough day. Yelling, depression. But as I was out driving with other as we were running some errands...The moon was shining through the clouds so prettily...like, in a way I've never seen before...moonrays breaking through...wow. I said to Mom...God's speaking to us right now, saying that He loves us and even though we don't see the end of this situation, He does. The moon broke through on several occasions, brightly lighting our way. At one point I said to Mom, "Do you trust me?" She answered by repeating my ques...

I don't have anything new and exciting to post today. I got in trouble for losing my temper and yelling back at Christina...that she yelled at me first, three times, is immatieral as Jerry expects me to be the adult. How sad is that? Why do I always have to get stuck being the grown up in a situation? It is so not fair. Maybe I'll get to relax and be more carefree in heaven? Apparently, both Christina and I are saying the same thing...that we don't have a problem with the other, that the other has a problem with us. So, I'm thinking that somewhere a long the lines there has been a misunderstanding. Maybe. And of course, I'm the one that has to be the fricking adult about it. Since I'm better at writing, I've written her a letter detailing what has made me think she has a problem with me. Giving it to Jerry to read first; not that he really cares about anything I've written it it, but to show that I'm following his advice to be the adult. E...

Christina was supposed to get in trouble for the note she left...since she was waaaaaaaaay out of her realm of authority. Whether she did or not, I haven't heard. We've all kind of got the Christmas blues at work. For some reason, they've decided to print a paper on Christmas and New Years. That means we don't get the Eve's off. This is new...we don't usually put out papers on those days unless they fall on a Sunday. Now Dayshift will still get Christmas and New Years day off...but nightshift is basically being screwed over. I think we are having a meeting about it this Saturday night. Guaranteed to be interesting. Well, I can't stay long. I have to get some sleep because I'm going out with Mom to her doc's appointment later and tonight is one of my long nights [9 hours]. So, have a good one :D

For crying out loud!!!! I am so tired of Christina. I was ripped apart by her at work last night...before I had even clocked in...before she was even there! She left me a nasty note from the last night she filled in for my position, saying this that and the other hadn't been right about the programs I had set up. Some of it is probably true, because I remember having a really hard time setting that particular day up. Whether I set it up Friday night waiting for the last sports page, or Saturday night, I was tired and didn't feel good and so you'd think she'd cut me a break....but nooo, she bites first and never bothers to ask questions. And she said not to set them up anymore because of it. Whoa nelly...she's not my supervisor! She has no authority to say such a thing! So, I took it to Deb and said, "You know, something probably was messed up because I wasn't feeling good and probably not paying as close of attention as I should. But I don't th...

I have finally changed the name of my blog. I've been meaning to ever since I came back from the Ohio conference, because I didn't feel like 'prodigal saint' fit this site anymore...or me I guess. I chose the title I did because it's what I named the little series of "squirrel stories" I wrote for my church a few years back. The squirrel really kind of stole the stories, even though it was never about him but my view of reality...but I have to admit, the squirrel was funny. So, since this blog in particular is about my particular and peculiar reality, as skewed as it often is, I think it fits. I know that I see the world differently, and that this isn't always a bad thing. There you have it. Much to the disaapointment of the squirrel fans, there will be no squirrel stories forthcoming. See, if people really heard what I was saying in those stories, they'd know that the squirrel was just the comic relief because I was really sharing my view of the c...

It's truly spellbinding, how I've spent my two days off. Ok, not really, but I really wish it had been. Ok. Sunday: got off work at 3:30...went home, read just a little bit and was soon out...for most of the entire day. I did go to the library in the evening, but I even went to bed early that night. So. Monday: Up way too early. Finished reading Dominion by Randy Alcorn. Chatted with a friend. Ran some errands. Got Mom's van checked out, learned that it was a bad tire...which of course he didn't even have and he had to order them [2] and was told to drive it as little as possible. Didn't quite make that, and the tire went flat [finally?] while I was still out running errands. Couldn't find Liston to come help, so I had to go beg some help off of Kost tires. They changed the tire and put on the spare and didn't even charge me for it. Am now at Mom's. Again. Until who knows when. Sigh.

Ok, maybe not bad. Insecure? Yeah. Naughty? Maybe. One of Christina's favorite lines for about how 'well' she gets along with the guys at work is that she's 'just one of the guys'. Maybe she ought to ask the guys. The one I asked, who is a sterotypical horny male, replied 'no, I think she's an idiot.' There was no hesitation on his part, and just a little hostility. This really rather enforces my notion that Chris is kidding herself when she says this. I always thought that when a girl was 'just one of the guys' that there was no sexual tension because they just don't see her as a girl [if I'm wrong, forgive my naivity] and there is no mistaking the sexual tension that is at work when she is there. I don't think she gets on as well with the guys as she thinks she does. I've seen the looks on their faces when she forces [yes, forces ] a hug from one of them. Twit. Anyway, enough about work. I finally finished my Trek...

I don't know what it is exactly, but I felt so isolated at work. I can only imagine what sort of gossip I've missed about myself the past two nights I was off. I know I had griped to Tempy about how Christina had been hugging and kissing on Kirk [his cheek] and Tempy is as prone to gossip as Christina is, so wether she said something to the other, I don't know. Not that it matters, I have no claim on Kirk, just a crush. And it's not like Chris is talking to me yet either. Oh, she talked to me a little Saturday night when we were doing the Sunday paper, but that's only because she had no one else to talk to. Which is the only time she ever does talk to me...when I'm her last choice. Which I've known probably for about a year now. It's no big loss, really. All she ever talks about is who she's been laying with [and then wonders why we all think she's a whore] or who she hates this week [there's a cycle to it, believe it or not]. I try not to ha...

Mom had her funky x-ray this morning. She had the time wrong so we were an hour early. Dad would have rolled over in his grave to know taht we were taht early...well, early for anything. But they were able to bump her up so she got in earlier. They emptied her bladder wtih a catheter and then filled her baldder with dye and ask her to pee on command and x-ray it! I guess I've ticked Fluke off. I wrote a story from his viewpoint for Jean-Luc's Christmas story week and I just got an email from him saying he liked the story but not that I gave it to Jean-Luc. Who posted it btw. Today. Great. It's not like he blogs anymore. Oh well. I hope it all works out. It's snowing again. :( Not sure if I'll be able to go home tonight or if I'm stranded at Mom's again. I hate this time of year.

What a long and viscious week it has been! In 3 days I worked 30 hours...then 9 more last night and looking forward to another 8 hours tonight. No wonder I am tired! The 30 hours goes on the end of last payperiod, the 17 is the beginning of the new. But no matter how you look at it...it's a lot of working! Christina is still not talking to me...I figure she must still be pissed at me b/c of the night I called in late when I was in the ER with my Mom. She was asked to come in early that night to fill in for me...it's not like she had to say yes. No doubt she feels put upon...having to do all the work while the rest of us [me] just goofs off. Whatever. Kirk is so funny. The other night, as I'm getting mailbags ready [which I shouldn't have to do anymore, but ya know!] and Kirk is walking through the mailroom after parking the forklift...and we both kind of look at each other...and he stops, like he's thinking about something, then he starts walking my way, so...