Window Into My Reality

I bought a plant last night. Probably paid too much, but it was a nice little ivy plant. It's a friends house right now as we went to see the Narnia movie last night and I didn't want to leave it in my car for that long. I don't know why exactly I would do this to this poor innocent plant, as I do not have a green thumb. I even managed to kill an aloe plant, which is a cactus and how in the world do you kill a cactus???????? Perhaps this one will fare better. And you all read that right. I went to the theater and saw the Narnia movie for the second time. When oh when will it come out on vhs and dvd???? I caught several things I didn't the first time through, from Santa's shadow on the snow [duh] to a parrellel between the war the kids fled from and the one they fought in Narnia. We are on the brink of another new year. I am rather more pessimistic and cynical than I have been in past years, and yet at the same time I've had a wonderful run of emails this week th

It's been a good week. It was kind of rough on Sunday, Christmas and all. Was kind of like being in a small war zone, though the family wasn't as bad as they've been in the past. Someone at some point told me to "grow up" and I was so tempted to flip them the bird, which would have been a fine mark of my maturity, and tell them that if they could do any better after coming out of a sick bed to fix a lot of what they were eating then they could just go for it. But I didn't. I've done a good deal of sleeping this week, which has really felt kind of good. BUT----during my awake hours, I've spent a good deal of time at my bestest friend's place and we've had a few good talks. A lot has been forgiven on both sides, and we're moving on. This is good. this is very good. Prayer was...interesting...last night. My friend has been removed as leader...a decision I don't agree with but I'm only a "civilian" at church and my o

This is not my poem, I am not sure who wrote it, but it was forwarded to me by a friend and it was too good not to share [almost made me cry..."almost" because I'm in the library!] I think it will bless a few of you too. THE BLOOD One night in a church service a young woman felt the tug of God at her heart. She responded to God's call and accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. The young woman had a very rough past, involving alcohol, drugs, and prostitution. But, the change in her was evident. As time went on she became a faithful member of the church. She eventually became involved in the ministry, teaching young children. It was not very long until this faithful young woman had caught the eye and heart of the pastor's son. The relationship grew and they began to make wedding plans. This is when the problems began. You see, about one half of the church did not think that a woman with a past such as hers was suitable for a pastor's son. The church began to ar

Off for the holidays. So y'all have a Merry Christmas! And a happy Hanakkuh! And while you're at it, whether it's a holiday or not - Have a good day! LOL! Much joy to you all! Love, Ciera :)

Do you suppose that the stores that have banned their cashiers from saying "Merry Christmas" are also choosing which songs they play over the loud speakers. What about - "I want to wish you Merry Christmas/Feliz Navidad"?????? In theory, if they ban their cashiers from saying the phrase, then they can not play ANY song mentioning the phrase either, otherwise they are contradicting themselves!!!! OK. I guess that was only one thing. I had an entire list this morning, but can you believe I have since forgotten all the other things?

Who comes up with these things? And why do I find them so much fun? How evil are you ?

Well, I stayed home this weekend. Going to try to go to my bro's later, during Christmas break. So, I shall clean the library this afternoon, then go home to tidy my place and put up my 12inch Christmas tree. Not sure if I'll get to see my friend this day, as she wasn't home when she said she was going to be ... which is what finds me sitting here on a free Saturday blog surfing and stuff. Oh wait, I do that anyways. Nevermind!!! Hope this weekend finds you all warm and dry. :)

I had more trouble getting out of my parking lot this morning than I did driving on the roads. Hopefully the maintenance man Byron will have the lots cleared of snow by the time I have to go home. And I had to park on the other side of the street from the library instead of right in front, because there was no way I was going to park in unplowed snow ya know. I'd rather walk a few extra feet than have my car stuck! I was tagged over at Carl's and since I can't help but do these things: Here are the rules: “The first player of this game starts with the topic “five weird habits of yourself,” and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You are tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.” And so, without further ado, here

My thanks to Daydream Believer for giving me the idea of posting an avatar on my Blog instead of a pic. *hugs* back! :)

Well, as forecasted.....it is snowing. Looks like the freezing rain and stuff is gonna stay south of PA though. This makes me very happy. On the bright side, school let out early, almost before it started snowing...this too made me happy as the roads hadn't got wet enough to be slippy yet. I only had a little bit of slippage at the last stop. Not too bad at all. My fingers are cold. That could be because it's cold outside. I'm not sure what the temp in the library is, but it's chilly in the computer room. Could be all the windows. I don't have to do bus tomorrow [headstart has Friday's off regularly] and so the farthest I have to go is up to the library to work all day. I wonder, would it look odd if I were to keep my gloves on? Just a thought. I am making progress in life. I'm beginning to take an interest in my appearance again [someday I'll post a pic of myself, promise]. I'm beginning to take an interest in the cleanliness of my apartment [no, yo

It's gonna snow. I know this outside of the weather report because of three things. #1- the sky was a glorious red and lavendar this morning...all the way around the horizon. Beautiful! #2- the kids on the bus are even more highstrung than usual. #3- I plan on going away this weekend. I heard the neatest story on the radio today. Ok, I only caught about half of it. This couple had sent an email telling about all the trials they were going through, and how other Christians had stepped in to help them. They had even put their wedding rings on Ebay in an effort to raise money. So, John and Denny of the morning show had this couple come in and at the end of it...someone had bought the wedding rings and through John and Denny, gave them back to the couple!!! I thought it was cool. With all the terror in today's world, there is still Love. There was something else I wanted to say here. thinking.........sheesh.....I'll have to come back late

You know you've got a winning hairdo when a compliment is the first thing out of one of the little boys on the bus!!!!

A slip of the tongue can get you in BIG trouble.

I got to see Chronicles of Narnia last night. Very cool movie. It's been a few years since I've read book form of "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrone" so I wouldn't be able to tell you were the movie strays from the book like my friends was able to...at least she didn't make comments throughout the movie!! I think one of my favorite scenes was Lucy finding the wardrobe and uncovering it...the angles of the camera's and the music were awesome. It was like she was finding this magnificent treasure...and she was. Heard a great comment on a different movie preview that stuck with me. "You're not a failure until you refuse to get back up." The guy was talking about skateboarding, but it applies to ALL areas of life. It's another Saturday here at the library. Nothing going on, although the sirens went off a few minutes ago so there must be a fire or an accident somewhere. Both are nasty prospects in this cold weather - 24 Degrees! Brrr. One o

Today ~ on the radio...Chip's still talking about perspective and focus and whatnot. And the Scottish guy in the morning was talking about Joseph. At least, I think he's a Scot. Could be Irish. I just dunno! He has a nice accent though...he kept saying "Psalm" this morning and at first I though he was saying Sam! Anyway. Joseph was not protected from circumstances, but in them. He was protected by God's presence...protected from the silent killers of Resentment, Self-pity, and Bitterness. And he was protected for a unique purpose {echoes back to Jeremiah 29:11}. And Chip says this about perspective: Our feelings follow our focus , Our focus follows our affections , Our affections follow our thinking . That and we're like a sponge...when we get squeezed by life, we find out what we're really retaining, what we're really filled with. So - Since I seem to be leaking Resentment, Self-pity and Bitterness...then that means my focus has been off...and that

This is the name of a radio program that I try to listen to each day. It comes on FLN at 12:30, and also on the Q at 1:00, so if I tune in late to the first one, I can catch the beginning as soon as it begins. Backwards, I know, but it works. Today the teacher, Chip Ingram, started a new series...about perspective. And it drove home just what a negative pessimist I am. And a lot of that has to do with where my focus is. He taught from the opening chapter of Philippians, which Paul wrote while in prison. He walked us verse by verse to show us how Paul responded to his circumstance - with an upward focus, an outward focus, and a forward focus. Needless to say, Paul wasn't focusing on his circumstances. Which I am so very good at doing. I want to have a right perspective, which I think is probably one of the things that God is trying to teach my right now. I do so wish that the transformation was quicker though. I mean, I hear so much about how God can do a quick work, and I've

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~ {thoughts can also be translated as 'plans'} So said the Lord to me shortly before my high school graduation, one of the worst experiences in my life. Since then, whenever I have grown discouraged or in some way have gone astray...God has almost literally thrown this verse back in my face "Hello - girl - I haven't forgotten" so to speak. This time, He did it differently and my mind went back to the verse on its own. To some degree, I have misinterpreted recent events - for example, I haven't lost my bestest friend like I thought I had. And I've allowed Man's opinion to outwiegh God's. Like I just told a friend, one of my biggest flaws in an almost instantious jumping to the wrong panicky conclusion - I don't do it on purpose! but I can't seem to change this either. And so I've gotten to t

OK. I drive bus for headstart, right? Where the parents [or grandma or babysitter or whatever] has to come out to put the kid on the bus. So, as I was about ready to leave the Center today, one of the teachers comes out and wants to know if I can take one of the kids righ tback home [uh, hair issues] and I'm like, OK [cuz it's my job]. So, she comes back out with the kid saying that they hadn't been able to get ahold of the mom and did I notice whether the mom was dressed when she put the kid on the bus? Whoa...I stopped looking at what the person was wearing last year when the guys came bounding out of the trailer in pajama bottoms and holding onto his crotch like it was falling off! Very traumatic. So my best response to the teacher this morning was...'uhm, I dunno.' I mean, as long as nothing is falling out, I don't look to see whether they're still in their jammies or not. [and how can you tell anymore anyways?] Anyway, the mom wasn't home

Here is an exerpt from an article by Lisa Bevere called "Stopping a Fight Before It Gets Out of Hand" that I thought would share. This deals with day to day relational issues, which is exactly what I have been struggling with. Lisa says, "By overlooking an offense, we are like obediant children who say, 'Father, I know I can trust You with this one. It is too big and painful for me. I refuse to lash back; instead I lay it at Your feet and forgive.' It is a guesture that declares our royal birthright. For forgiveness imitates the Son of God to a dying earth. To overlook means to look above and choose to see things on a higher level than where the offense was committed. It is to pretend not to notice and extend grace and mercy when you would have rather exercised judgment." I was cut to the heart when I read this, as I haven't been doing very well when it comes to forgiveness recently. To forgive as I have been forgiven...and as I wish to be forgiven. I ca

I know why no one is stopping in at the library this morning...it's Black Friday! The one day to avoid shopping because absolutely everyone's out there shopping. AHHHHHH! yesterday was a good day. I stayed in bed until after ten, though to be honest it was hard to sleep because I could smell whatever it was that my downstairs neighbor was baking. Whatever it was, it smelled wonderful! I puttered around for awhile till it was time to go to my bosses for the meal. It was a side of him I've never seen before, but at least he wasn't drunk just tipsy. It was good though. I was there for most of the afternoon, and then went home and finished watching a movie I'd started. I really enjoyed the Thanksgiving service Wednesday night too. I rode out with pastors. It was like a unity/community service so there was a variety of demoniations represented. I got to sing one of my favorite hymns of all time too "For the beauty of the world." I just got back from visiting my

With a grateful heart. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and although we should always be thankful, this is the time of year for it to be emphasized sooooo.......a list of things that I am thankful for, because I can! I am thankful for: 1. My jobs. 2. My home. 3. Grace like rain. Not the song, though I love it. I am thankful that God loves me and all that and now matter how much I screw up...strangely I am blameless in His sight because of the blood of Christ. 4. My blogger friends. Even though I worry that I'll become to attached to you all, who are kind of sort of like imaginary friends, but not........you know what I'm trying to say? Please say you do! 5. I am thankful for an imaginitive mind, even though it sometimes gets me into trouble!! 6. The kids on my bus route. I love them so much! 7. Hugs. 8. The starry heavens 9. Hope 10. Life I still haven't a place to go for tomorrow. But I will not despair. I will, however, sleep in!!! Mwuhahahahahaha!!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving everyon

It is a strange thing. How someone can say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me" and still manage to correct you all at once...it is truly amazing to me. I was shocked that this person actually admitted to being wrong, and at the same time, I was ashamed for wanting it. But it got me to thinking. About Repentance and Forgiveness...how once they have happened...there is healing and restoration. I haven't completely researched it yet, but the verses I've peaked at in James make me think I'm not far off. I wonder, just as one person sinning can spoil others...can one person repenting turn others to repentance? Hmm.... Of course, as in any relationship situation...it helps to know the whole story. Why do we do that, I wonder? Close up and not share what is going on, I mean. I know that sometimes, there are things that hurt too deep to share right away. It is frustrating. Thanksgiving looks to be a dismal day so far. I'm not about ready to invite myself to any

Going to try something. If this works....all I need now is someone with a digital camera and I could show y'all what my new glasses look like!!!

I found another article on Crosswalk that I wanted to share. This one deals with the Holidays and Singles. It was an encouraging read for myself. Hope it is for others as well.

As promised...a poem... One Woman Alone By: myself One woman alone …… abandoned …… She stand against the cold …… forgotten …… Braving the wind and the rain …… beaten …… With no one left to hear her …… forsaken …… Whether she lives or dies …… ignored …… No one hears the whispers shouted into the wind …… helpless …… Alone she lies …… rejected …… Beaten, bruised, bleeding …… misused …… Words cut as knives …… misunderstood …… Twisted around and around …… confused …… Till she no longer knows who said what …… wondering …… Or why it matters …… weary …… Alone she drowns …… help me …… Beneath the weight of her sorrow …… can anyone hear me? …… Mocked and ridiculed because of it …… why Lord? …… Tears run down her face as they scold …… Jesus, I’m suffocating …… She surrenders and gives up …… I can’t take it anymore …… As she is at last told that her pain is imagined and unreal …… it hurts Jesus …… One Man alone …… Gethsemane …… Arms wide open …… Nails …… Blood flowing freely …… covering, healing …

Don't you hate it when yousay something stupid and have to take it back? A while back, I answered a "MEME" question thus: Three kid's names I like:Boys names:1. Jonathan2. Mark3. Joshua I will never name one of my sons Robert.Girls Names:1. Sierra2. Jewell3. Angela Never thinking that one of my commenters name, Rob, would most likely be short for Robert. I am such an idiot sometimes. So. To explain - it's not the name Robert...it's the nickname Bob that I don't like. Hope I didn't offend anyone {Rob}. Please forgive me if I did. Purty please, with cherries and whip cream and pudding?!?!?! y'all. Look for a poem tomorrow.

This weekend, and this weekend only, I'll answer any three questions posed to me by the commentors. Be nice and family friendly, please and thank you.

Eye Exam = $69 Prescription lenses = $50 Frames = $29 Being able to see clearly without having to tip my head to compensate for the broken frame = PRICELESS

Each time I think I've gotten a handle on my sorrow over losing my friend, a new wave rises up to great me. And it burns because she will sit there and tell me that she's done nothing to hurt me and that I have done soooo much to hurt her. If she ever, ever says that to me again...I might ask her how to spell a word. {{5 letters ... starts with b - ends with an itch}} And yet - - - I have to remember that love keeps no records of wrongs. I want to scream. Instead, I'm going to go home - have a Little Debby treat - and read a Psalm. Or 1 Corinthians 13.

I was telling this to a friend, and decided to share with y'all. Last night, I went to take an article to my pastor, but he wasn't home...and I couldn't just leave it there without my name attached to it somehow and a note, cuz he hates that...and I didn't have a pen with me...and I almost decided to forget about it until today but at the last minute I decided to whip back around to the library to throw together a quick note for him. And it took longer than I expected. All this to say that when I finally got back to Pastors - - - and was walking across their yard - - - I just happened to look up and I saw a falling star...or is it a shooting star? Anyway. It was beautiful. Long and bright tale, that...well, for what it was, it just kind of mosied across the sky. I love the stars...I always have. I could sit for hours just looking up at them {especially during meteor season} And knowing that God created me, with all my quirks and such, I know that this was His wa

OK, so I was perusing Rob's blog a little and found an excellent essay on, of all things, Batman Begins - along with a few other movies he threw in to illustrate his point. If you want to read it... Go Here!! One of his comments that caught my attention was this one - "A hero’s journey is a solitary one into uncharted territory." It is somewhat daunting. I am prepared, sort of, for the loneliness that I feel approaching me...that has already seized me. My friend was a large part of my day...well, ok, afternoon. And we did a lot of stuff together, and not just socially. I was her helper for the kids prayer meeting, and I did my best to help her in whatever she was doing. Well, now she's not doing anything and has in so many words told me to bug off. So - I've bugged off -----and now face hours of being alone. I know, I know....it's one of the "great" things about being single....and I am soooo tired of hearing that.....like any of the married people

Ten Reasons to Listen to Questions Before You Answer Great article...one I wish I could recommend to several people in my church right now. the key word in that titel is BEFORE. Sheesh. How many arguments could be avoided if we could just learn to listen...myself included.

OK. I will admit it. I have a strange fascination with Batman. I don' t know why exactly, but I do. Wasn't a big fan of Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight, or George Clooney, but did like Val Kilmer. But they gave the new movie to someone other than Tim Burton so it wasn't as comic booky. Although the Scarecrow scenes with the hallucenogenic drug was a bit...intensely gross. Anyhow.......the best line and lesson in the movie is a phrase Bruce Wayne's father says near thebeginning. "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up." And so that put my week into a whole different perspective, doesn't it. While I would get into trouble for saying that I learned a spiritual lesson from a "worldy secular" movie - I did. Verses from the bible: Psalm 37:24 "Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 145:14 "The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are

Never cut your hair when you're upset. Never! I went hacking at my bangs today, frustrated with how they were hanging to my nose...and hacking is the right word for it. My head was at an angle and so I cut them too short. I have a fringe at the top of my forehead now. I think the hair is less than an inch long. yikes! Perhaps I should hack the rest to match. At least then my hair would compliment my crooked glasses. I realize that I don't sit or stand straight, and so I thought that was the problem with my glasses....but Pastor S took them from me today when I was asking her about it and layed them on the table and no doubt about it...somehow they've gotten bent. Maybe that accounts for the headaches!!!! If anyone wants to see a great haircut, click on my links to the left and go visit Rob...he just got a nifty one. Ok, I think he's cute so I'm biased :P I think that's the word I want there. Anyhow. I'm trying my hand at the novel in a month contest and as I

The One with Three Here's a little meme that's courtesy of Utenzi. Sorry, I haven't figured out how to do links in the blog yet. Three names I go by: 1. R.A. Slater 2. Sierra/Ciera 3. Bob {well, the person who calls me this is calling me something else right now, so maybe it's no longer} Three screen names I have had: 1. Ciera 2. Jedi Princess 3. Sierraanna Three physical things I like about myself: 1. smile 2. hair 3. eyes Three physical things I don't like about myself: 1. hips 2. teeth 3. uhm......busom [lack thereof] - - - sorry guys, I couldn't think of anything else, and it's the sad truth. Three parts of my heritage: 1. German (50%) 2. Scottish (?%) 3. Those are the only two I know of for sure...although I once had an old man accuse me of being Irish because I was 'so damned stubborn'. Three things that scare me: 1. total darkness 2. the thought of having an accident with my bus with kids on it 3. when good friends go bad Three of my everyda

Such is life. Friends come and then they go. Like - - whatever. And yet, despite my advance maturity since a certain incident which shall remained unnamed....I have this overwhelming desire to scream "BITE ME" into the wind....and then drive off into the sunset laughing histerically like a madwoman {not to be confused with a woman who is mad}. on the brighter side of life, my car has been fixed. My muffler is so quiet, that I can sneak upon people now!!!! Mwuahahahahah! and the garage didn't take ALL my money. It left me with enough to by a smidgen of gas. and maybe creamer for my coffee. yes, it still hurts. it is never nice to be called a b*tch by the woman you were planning on being your matron of honor on that far away imaginary day when I marry some handsome gentlemen...but I am using humor to mask it. Strange. I have also deeply offended the man I had vaguelly considered walking me down the aisle on the asaid for imaginary day. Perhaps, since God has taken bo

Nothing is going on today. We have a Halloween parade later, and the church may or may not have a float in it. We are having a party for the kids afterwards, and a table serving coffe and such to people as they pass by. I was asked to help with the kids party. hmm. And my bestest friend is having some sort of breakdown. And somehow...it's partially my fault. Riiight. No matter how badly behaved I've been, how much I've screwed up, it's not within my power to how she reacts to it. Perhaps I am the 'straw' that broke the camels back. I can't even apologize though, because she hasn't told me what I've done. I wonder what it was....when I challenged her newly changed opinions? dared to rebuke her for how she had handles something [she's a leader and leaders are touchy about that kind of stuff.] No doubt I was out of line. I could easily hurt myself somehow right now and blame everyone else..."so and so doesn't like me, doesn'

I know that I should be composing my next installment of the Princess thing, and I might later today. I don't really feel well right now. Blech. Can't stay at home in bed though, the world doesn't stop turning just because someone doesn't feel good, right? Whether it is emotional, or physical, and today it happens to be both. At least the only responsibilty that I have today is working at the library for an hour [whoop-tee-do] but an hour is better than nothing. I told Alfonse this morning that I was a screw up and he scolded me something fierce. "Just because you screw up, doesn't make you a screw up! I don't ever want to hear you say that again!" Ha! What could I really say to that? "Uhm, sure...ok boss...whatever you say." Intellectually I know that screwing up, failing, whatever you want to call it...doesn't make me a screw up or a failure or bad and evil. It's the head talking the heart around to believing that has al

I believe the Old woman was encouraging the Princess to finish her lunch so that she could have dessert. So...the afternoon passed, and into evening. Supper was simple...leftovers. "I don't understand why I can't just stay here," the Princess said in quiet complaint. "Don't you want me here? Do you want to be alone? The Old Woman didn't answer the last question. She didn't answer the first question. Instead, she asked one. "Why did you leave the tower?" 'I wanted out," the Princess answered. "To see the mountains and the city up close. I was tired at looking in from the distance." "And how much of that are you doing here?" Silence. In fact, the Princess outright scowled at the Old Woman. "Well?" "Point taken," the Princess said rather grouchily. The Old Woman just laughed.

I think what I hate the most within the church, other than sin, is the holier-than-thou attitude that can creep into the leaders. They are anointed for their positions, but does that necessarily make them 'holier' and more godly than the rest? I have a problem with that concept. Are people dumb? Yep, like sheep. But you know what, I have been given the same holiness that is given to every believer when they accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I might be overly emotional...I might be decieved from time to time about things...and I might suffer from an overblown sense of pride and arrogance...but...I am still saved by grace. It is that grace that shines in the darkness and shows me where I am astray. Perhaps I have been too open and honest about it...perhaps I have been too transparent about my trials and difficulties...but I thought I was safe in the church to do that. I was wrong. Do not get me wrong, I in no way mean disrespect to my leaders...I love them and try

Sigh. I dunno about myself sometimes. Utenzi and Cliff - thanks for your encouraging comments on the earlier post. Rob - thank you for understanding. Captain - as always, my gratitude. Fluke - - - - - what can I say? There's nothing like being called silly by you of all people! AI feel sooo....chastised! And you're right...hunger distorts things. So does sleep deprivation. I lay awake and my mind won't shut down. Last night it was better. We had a string of special meetings at church this week and last night I did get prayer. I felt something change when the speaker prayed for me...and you'll all laugh when I say what I felt...I felt tired. Not a tormented tired, but a warm-I could-go-to-sleep-right-here-and-now-in-the Presence-of-God-and-not-think-twice-about-it. I haven't felt that in over a week. Which is actually kind of strange because generally when I fight depression I'm tired all the time and sleep and sleep and sleep. this time it 's awake awake aw

The Princess... She spent the rest of the morning in silence. After the Old Woman's story, she was no longer happy that she had left the tower. Surely imprisonment was safer than life on the outside. At lunch, the Old Woman made up for the meager breakfast by sitting a plate full of steamy mashed potatoes slathered in gravy and roast beef in front of the younger woman. "You've been awful quiet," she said, thereby earning the "Stating the Obvious Award" for the year. "You thinking of going back?" The Princess nodded. "It's too late to go back..surely you know that." "All I have to do is walk up to the front gate and knock." "You could," agreed the Old Woman. "But don't you think you should at least make an attempt at tasting life before going back to that death?" She shrugged. "I'd forgotten why I went there in the first place until you told your story. Life can sometimes bite you in t

Shelly - don't take any lessons from me! I'm not doing too well at the moment. I must confess - I'm battling depression right now. I'm angry and so I'm getting sarcastic which only ever gets me into deeper trouble with the people in my life. I mean, I shouldn't be depressed. the Bible says that God will meet all my needs...and yet I am facing going hungry in order to pay my bills...and yet my hours continue to go down at the library. the Bible says that I am loved...and the ones I counted as friends have decided that they don't and since they were ones who often conveyed the love of God to me...I doubt...not so much God's love but the calling that I thought was on my life. And if I've been wrong about that, then what else have I been wrong about? On the other hand, we have services at church tonight and maybe the speaker will say something extraordinary that will reaasure me...I am praying that there will be something...to either conform what I'v

Life has a way of taking up your time so that you can't post on your blog. Has anyone else ever noticed that?!?!? LOL! It has been such a rough week. I wish people would grow up. I'll try to get the next installment of the princess out tomorrow night. We also just had like a week of miserable weather here too...Misty stuff that won't actually turn into a rainfall. Sigh. I'd really like a nap right about now too. Argh.

The rain continued into morning, and was still falling as the Princess ate a rather bland breakfast of oatmeal. "We've all been there, at some point in our lives," said the Old Woman once the Princess had eaten her last bite. "What do you mean?" she asked, sliding her bowl into the middle of the table. "I mean we've all been held prisoner. Maybe not all of us have been held in a fancy tower like you, but the heart of it is the same." The Old Woman sewed an item of dark cloth as she spoke. Her hands resembled the roots of a tree, mottled with age and knuckles swollen by years of hard work, but they held the sewing needle firmly and they moved with sure gracefullness at each stitch. The Princess watched the Old Woman's motions for several stitches before asking, "What's at the heart of it?" "Fear." The word had been spoken firmly, but without malice. Still it took the Princesses by surprise and she blinked 3 times in q

Pt 3 - Encouter By nightfall, the princess really wanted to go home. It was getting cold, and she didn't have a cloak or a shawl. Her feet were hurting - this was the most walking she'd done in years and she hadn't thought to change her shoes before leaving the tower. And it had started to rain. With a sigh, the Princess took advantage of the rain and washed her bloody elbows as she walked, stumbled through the forest. In the distance, there was a light glowing in the growing darkness and she hoped it was a cottage or a cabin or something that would give her shelter. It was a small cabin, she saw. She knocked on the door, and waited in the pouring rain. It never occured to her to wonder what type of person might live here. Fortunately for her it was a little old woman [this time] who opened the door. "My goodness! Get in out of the rain girl!" the old woman exclaimed, pulling her inside. The princess' teeth was chattering too hard for her to answer rig

Lions and tigers and bears - - - oh my!

The flight down the side of the tower seemed to take forever. The Princess was unused to such activity and was constantly banging her knees and her elbows. The drop between the end of the bedsheet and the tree was greater than she'd thought, and she almost climbed back up. But she didn't. She kicked herself away from the tower - she did that two more times before she let herself drop. It was only a couple of seconds, but the freefall felt wonderful to this sheltered Princess. Oh if she only had wings to fly, then none of this would have been a problem. Her arms snagged harshly against the branches and she knocked her knee again. No doubt she'd be wishing for bandaids by the time she got to the bottom of the tree. This part of the flight went smoothly as she could remember tree climbing from the days before the Tower. At the bottom of the tree, fastidious creature that she was, she brushed the bark off her dress and wondered why she hadn't changed into pants before cllim

And not the movie either [though it's a good movie]. October Sky by: the one and only me The wind blows my hair as I look up It's chill reminding me that autumn is here Despite the sunshine that fills this October sky That makes the blue sky of summer seem pale The warmth of the sun is comforting As it reflects off the peaks of towering clouds Whose whiteness rests in stark contrast with the dark underneath Pushing my hair back I can only stand in awe And marvel at this beauty That stands apart from the rest of time In this moment I rest Thinking neither of yesterday nor of tomorrow Only of this eternal moment As for me, time stands still And to spoil it all for you - this was inspired by a sunshiney/cloudy day earlier this weak, before it actually turned to October....but I thought October Sky sounded better than a September sky. LOL.

The Princess in the Tower Part one: The room was quite large. The floor was mainly covered with marble tile and when the Princess paced, there was a rhythmic clicking sound that reverberated off the high ceiling. She should be happy - it was beautiful here, and she was well cared for. She ate the best foods, slept in a comfortable bed, and even had visitors everyday. Still, her heart was heavy. She could have anything she asked for here...except her freedom. "It is for your own good," she had been told, and was still told on the occasions that she dared to ask for a chance to see the outside world. "It is dangerous out there. There is evil. Surely you are not smart enough to protect yourself." And so she paced. On occassion, she would stop to stand at the window and stare out. In the distance she would see mountains...and cities...and farms... Unlike Rapunzel, her hair was short and she couldn't just toss it out the window. And there was no one at the bottom of

Having a great day so far...but then I slept in and so my day isn't that old!! I feel great though. There is nothing going on right now. We had a terrible storm blow through here yesterday morning while I was driving bus. I had one little girl tell me that she "saw thunder"...I couldn't find it in me to disagree with her. there were quite a few tree limbs down. You know the kind that blow off in these storms, small enough not to cause damage and big enough to be a nuisance if they fall in the road. I had to get out once and move a canvas tarp out of my way...I suppose I could have driven over it, but not knowing what was under it, I just couldn't do it. If I had just driven over it, there would have been something sharp that would slice something on my bus....you know how that goes!!!! Isn't it amazing how things can change? We weren't supposed to have a meeting last night...but when I called one of the other lady's to ask if she wanted to get t