Window Into My Reality

Merry Christmas ! Happy Hannukah! Happy Boxing Day! Did I miss anybody? I hit a deer last week, with Mom's van. Her insurance is fixing it (headlight) and provided us with a rental for two days while it's in the garage. I've been driving around in a PT Cruiser....which is kind of nice...our van sucks compared to it. I have to take it back today :( Oh well. I've been the only one driving it as well, because Mom ran away for the holidays. She went to spend a week or two with my brother Cliff. Both of them have to hit me with what a terrible person I am...all said via email of course. So I'm not missing Mom and have written my brother off my wedding invite list if I ever marry. Anything to spoil the holidays for me...well, it won't work. I'm just not checking my email! Hope everyone has a safe holiday.

Long time no write, I know. I've been busy living life. I've been working...and those duties have changed. The other woman in the nightshift pre-press department has transfered to Days. Which leaves me to take her place. Which is no big deal, but they are in no hurry to put a person in my position, so I have to do double duty a lot. With out a raise - because the company is under a hiring/wage freeze for the upcoming year because our economy sucks and we're trying to save money so we don't have to fire anyone. Although if certain persons don't shape up soon, they're going to find themselves without a job shortly. There are a lot of nights I wait for Justin to get out of work so that we can hang out afterwards and so I can give him a ride home. He doesn't have a vehicle other than his bicyle right now, and I like to give him a ride home when I can. Which is often. His parents won't give him a ride to work, for some reason I don't understand.

Don't ever go back to work early from sick leave. It's not worth it. Not even on light duty. I've had to do other people's jobs and rearrange my schedule. It's all back to normal next week, but the point it - what would they have done if I had stayed off like I wanted to?!?! I only went back to be nice because they lost two people while I was gone...the new guy messed up his drug test and Christina either quit or was fired. That's probably the best news I have right now. Apparently she was written up twice in one night and she didn't think she should have been b/c "Everybody does it" so she cleaned out her locker and told co-workers that she was quitting. So when she came back on her next night, she was told that she couldn't come back to work without talking to Brian first. She talked to Brian and tried to convince him that Tempy was singling her out, but it didn't convince him and she hasn't been back. I haven't checked her MySpac

Ok, not much is going on here. I'm almost back to my normal sleeping schedule...back to being a nightshifter. I still sleep a good bit, though I think I'm almost caught up. I still don't do a whole lot because those staples in my stomach are still there and it really kind of hurts to bump them. The gang at work got me a card. I went in to pick up a school candy order tonight and picked it up. Almost everybody signed it...even a few of the characters on dayshift signed it! Awww...I feel loooooved! Well, sort of. LOL! Really, I thought it was nice of everyone. And BOO on those who didn't sign! There is a good chance the one isn't there anymore! Christina was written up twice - one for looking at other people's time cards [hello - if she wasn't punching them in or out for lunch, she had no business looking at tehm!] and one for goofing off during the Daily. Uhm - nothing wrong with goofing off...you just don't make a habit of it during the Daily

Holy crap....it feels like someone has used my belly as a pin cushion! At least the painpills take away the most. I take it every four hours, and still it hurts a little if I move just right. try putting the cats out when it hurts to bend over! Mom and I had to do it last night b/c Liston was no help at all. He hasn't been all week. Anyway, my surgery was just a couple of hours. They were able to take the gallbladder out laprascopically...I don't think I spelled that right, but I'm too tired to look up the proper spelling. I'm having enough trouble just spotting normal typos. So, I have 4 little incisions...three along the middle of my torsoe - a total of 9 little staples, and one at the bottom of my bellybutton which has probably about 8 or so regular stitches. I swear that's the one that bothers me the worst. I've been sleeping a lot. I was up the most today, about 8 hours, before taking a nap. Most of it is just to hide from Buddy, even though he h

Well, in 6 hours I must be reporting in to the hospital to have my gallbladder taken out. Since I've never had any kind of operation, I'm a little scared. A little nervous. But it's been aching enough that I just want it to be over and done again. Sigh. I ought to try to get some sleep. But in a minute or two. I'll be off work at least 2 week...but since I can't lift anything heavier than a jug of milk for 3 weeks I'll probably just take the entire 3 weeks off. Which might be a very nice break! Christina has still been giving me attitude...why? Beats me...maybe because I still have a boyfriend? Yep, Justin and I are still dating. We had our first argument the other day. Sadly we haven't had a chance to make up yet, but I know we will. Besides, we won't see each other this entire week - he might find out just howm uch he misses me! lol!! I can't drive for a week after this morning, and he doesn't have anything other than his bicycle ri

Life has been happening recently. So much so that I just haven't had time to blog. Or answer long emails. Justin and I have been spending a lot of time together in the month we've been dating. I guess we must like each other a little bit. I have to have gallbladder surgery next month, the 13th. I'll probably spend time then catching up wth you all since I won't be able to even drive for the 1st week after the surgery. NOOO!!!! I'll be housebound!!! HELP!!!!!!!! Christina has been giving me attitude for about the past two weeks at work. No reason I can think of, except that I'm happy in life and excelling at work and is probably jealous. She so needs to grow up!! alright, off to do something somewhere...

I'm a little calmer today. Not by much. That asshole I was stupid enough to give my virginity to will not leave me alone. He's requested me as a friend on "Tagged"....yeah, ok, right....It's too little too late....far too late to try to be my friend. Steven: GO AWAY!!!! I have a new boyfriend. Justin's nicer, kinder, gentler....he's more fun to be with...treats me with respect. I fall a little more in love with him each day. Ok, I'm going to bed. I fell at work tonight and am just a little achy in spots.

posts are going to be thin for a while....few and far between. there's been lines drawn since I've gotten a boyfriend [he's for real too!] and so I will no longer be using the house computer. Don't want to run up the electric bill and stuff, especially since the computer belongs to Mother and Liston ~ even though I've been the one paying the internet. which I'll no longer be doing. have to get to bed.

I have a boyfriend. Not sure how serious it is yet, but so far it's more real than the last one. Want to hear more?

Every once in a while, I almost think I have an interesting life. Not often, just once in a while. Sunday morning, like, between 4 and 5 am, I get home from putting the Sunday paper together...I flip on the computer, you know, check email and log onto Yahoo Messenger so I can have my weekly chat with Jean-Luc and there was an Add Request...from my EX of all people! It's been almost 2 years since we've even talked...and I've only seen him in passing a handfull of times. Curious, I decide to add him just because I want to see what he wants. Turns out - he just wanted sex. {eyeball roll} Apparently his chicky that he left me for, left him! It couldn't have happened to a nicer fella. After laughing my ass of, I told him - no, I'm not that lonely. Ever ! This after Saturday night on the inserter, Justin yakking my ear off even though there was a coworker in between us. Justin said something to me, that just irritated me...I don't even remember what it was n

If a fish falls out of the water...does it drown on air? I don't know, but I do know that if the aquarium is too crowded...then the fish can drown right in the water. What do you think? Believe it or not - but this question has spawned something of a war at work...and it's not pretty. Some people just have to be right no matter what the cost. I found a neat website...it's full of quotes. Which is good because I was looking for my favorite by Emily Dickenson..."They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse." I've already posted it on my MySpace blog, and I'll probably post more there since it's not my "real" blog --- shhhhhh --- don't tell! Off for some sleep. :)

My sister-in-law Liz called last night and wanted someone to ride along with her to WalMart. Well, I was bored and like spending time with her once in a while. We talked about different family issues going on right now. From Liston's attraction, to Duane's possible upcoming leg amputation {Duane's her hubby}. Somewhere in there, our pasts came up. Before marrying my brother, she had a string of lovers...while I didn't even have sex until I was almost 30...at the heart of us, we're really not that different, though I don't know she'd ever see it. Anyway, she made a comment that sometimes she wished that she was more like me...so, dumb-ass that I am, I ask her exactly how she meant that. Her reply? "You've never wanted a steady relationship." Whoa......... When have I ever said that?!?!?!?!?! I would LOVE to find a man who loves me...who wants to know the woman inside as much as much as he wants to fuck the outside woman...just because I haven&#

Mimi had a MeMe posted just the other day. I found her through Jean-Luc who did the meme as well...I didn't get tagged by him because he doesn't tag people, but I felt like doing it anyways. Because I'm bored I guess. What you do, is "google" your name followed by the word needs and see what pops up. All I got for Ciera was a bunch of car stuff, nothing interesting. I'm not going to tag anyone, but feel free to go ahead and do it anyways. Here's a few I got when I googled my real name. I'm placing my screen name in it's place though...just because I feel like it! 1. Ciera Needs Somebody to Love. {well - duh! I've been saying this for years!} 2. Ciera needs You! {Yes you! Now quit looking so surprised and get over here!} 3. Ciera needs a Band. {I do? Does that come with groupies?} 4. Ciera needs help with a little securities fraud. {sounds ugly} 5. Ciera needs your help. {See #2} 6. Ciera does not self-preserve. {that doesn't sound good!}

Well, that was actually a rather boring birthday. I slept most of it away, one of the curses/blessings of working nightshift I geuss. No cake, no cards, although I can't complain too much as there were a few well-wishers. Tempy sang to me half a dozen times, Creative Services put in a happy ad for me. I didn't explode, which is always a good thing! Caught myself wanting to cry too many times to count...that entire single and no kids thing still hurts. But, I survived. That's what counts! Work is same old drama. Rob was fired and so Christina is pouting. Tempy is the new supervisor, so I guess she's not going to be in the pressroom as much anymore. And actually, there's nothing much else interesting to tell there. I guess I'm in a boring mundane stretch. Which is ok. Better than one crisis after another! I have to go write a Zion post. Want to hear something crazy? Sure you do, or you wouldn't be reading my blog in the first place. Anyway, I've been t

Post 365 is just to say - It's my birthday! I'm not sure if I'm happy about it yet or not. I'll let you know later!

Well.... Mom got rid of her catheter last week. Yay! She has to go back Tuesday for another check up though, and depending on how that goes, she might be going to see Cliff and fam sometime after that. Liston is still in denial over - well, everything. He's even managed to loose his most recent job. No telling on what he plans on doing next. I really am supporting 3 people on my paycheck...it really kind of sucks. Thank God for what Mom gets each month to meet her bankruptcy and mortgage payments. Work is its ever interesting dramatic self. We might be without a nighttime supervisor - again. This is the second one, well third if you count Christina's attempt, in the 2 years that I've been there. Paige, my so called best friend hasn't returned any of my emails in over a week. I know she just had a new grandbaby, but she could at least call. Especially since their car is still in my name and they still owe me money for the last payment. I've threatened to drop it fr

Mom came home Friday afternoon...with a catheter still in her. Apparently, her arthritis medication has been causing her kidney's to swell and has been the source of her problems. Took them long enough to figure this out. I think they're also going to test her thyroid. That's a family problem, her sister has problems with her's and she said that sometimes that comes with urinary/bladder problems. I have no idea how long she'll need the catheter. My brother who had the milktruck accident 6? years ago has broken his bad leg again ...the leg never healed as strong as it should have, and he keeps breaking it near the knee. He's joked about just having them take it off, but I don't know whether that will be something that will happen or not. My other brother admitted to me the night before Mom came home that the reason why he treats me like shit is because he's sexually attracted to me. ????????????? Somehow apparently it's my fault and so that justifies

Mom is in the hospital again. more later.

I think that says it all. Happy 4th my fellow Americans!

Liston washed a load of clothes too close to the tiem I had to shower...so it used up the water and I couldn't shower and I missed my PT appointment because I just feel too yucky to just wash up and go onthat through both PT and then work. Blech! My face just feels so greasy...I've got a pimple in the crease of my nose...I think I hate those the worst...and one along the temple. My period's over and done with for a few days now, so perhaps it's just the hot and humid weather. Or maybe I'm just going to have a pimply week. I can't believe they voted Nepharia off of LGS3. They're mad, I tell you. Apparently you have to be nuts or just plani suck to stay alive on that. I hope they didn't vote her off because of my brat attack. I didn't post anything there except those two comments on the post...I kept everything else here on the bitch and vent blog. We've exchanged a couple emails and we made up, which I referenced in the second comment I l

Moving on to other even less delightful topics. What is up with my self described BFF {best friend forever} not even returning a phone call? Paige hasn't even emailed me this week. I tried calling her last Sunday...Roger talked to me for a little while...but it's been a week and I've heard nothing from Paige. I think that hurts worse than anything Nepharia might have done. All she did was damage my pride...Paige is hurting my heart. But then this is nothing new is it? Life has changed so much in the past few years. It can be hard to handle sometimes. I no longer have the same friends...heck, I'm not even sure I have friends. Not like I used to. That is probably one of the hardest things. Ok, I have to finish an email. I'll probably be back later.

Furious with Nepharia, I arm myself with my lightsaver and a ysalamiri and I stride quickly down the hall of the Leviathan Loveboat. I find her in the main promenade, amusing herself by bending the unsuspecting passengers to her will. Which abruptly stops when I come near her with the ysalamiri, whose natural defenses push the Force away from itself, and therefore anything or anyone in its immediate vacinity. She turns in surprise, her lightsabers snapping on. "You? More trouble with the hot water in your room?" she asked sarcastically. "Hardly. I'm here to protest your portraying me as a swooning flake whose sidekick can't even fix the hotwater in their room. Kirk can run a 9 unit press by himself if he has to...somehow, I think he can manage the hot water system of this ship. Especially since it's a living being. And I don't swoon." I flick the switch on my ornamental spear and the purple lightsaber shaft appears. "Ever. I might be a young blo

I'm pretty sure I was thinking something...and got distracted...I think it was a deep thought...but the truth is...I lost track of it! Oops! It had something to do with how I had described my alter ego over at The Adventures of Ciera & Co. But I'm not sure I remember where the thought was going. Oh well. I think I'm going to have fune with this surperhero blog. It's already beginning to take off in a direction I didn't realize it was going to. Certainly it's going to be a fun blog, where things aren't always serious. How can it be when I've cast Kirk as my 'sidekick'? I'm not sure what he'd make of that, but the character has definately take on his own shape. Even as Ciera has. How odd is that? In a lot ways...Ciera is who I see myself as...or how I want to be. Well, sort of. There is still that element that is completely 'her'. I'm not sure if I can explain it. It is all make-believe though, and that is alw

Well, they voted me off of LGS3. Men anyways! And I'm not talking about the judges, although Blackade Boy was just as bad as Simon in my opinion. I'm talking about my teammates! I was beginning to lose sleep over it though, so it's maybe not a bad thing. Simon was the worst. Peckerhead. Jon said he thought I did good though, so that counts for something. I fought with Liston again tonight..and I'm not even sure what it was over. He was probably drunk again. I think he comes home looking for a fight when he's like that. All I asked this weekend while Mom was gone was that he wash ONE drainer full of dishes so I wouldn't have to it all on my own. After all, he eats here too! But he had to bitch about how I dirtied one of the frying pans [I kind of burnt it] and I told him he didn't have to wash that one, that I would do it. But no, he had to start swearing and then we were both yelling. I think he ought to just stay the night at his booze friend'

So, my take on challenge 5 for LGS3 was a little different that what has been seen so far. How it will be recieved, Lord only knows. If my brother is following this, I'll probably get in trouble for the pictures I chose, and also how I decided to describe my "character" at some points. The "goddess" one is sure to rub him the wrong way. In this instance, it has nothing to do with deity. But anyway...... One of the ways I described my character, connected to the really cool pic I've posted right here...was "The Fierce Avenger...arbiter of justice...a righter of wrongs..." I thought that my choice of 'arbiter' was interesting...because it is in essense a synonym for Judge. The full definition, as given by ask.com --- #1One chosen or appointed to judge or decide a disputed issue; an arbitrator. #2One who has the power to judge or ordain at will. I'm not sure what it is, but for some reason, this description of my 'character' in t

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have had my hope smashed last night. It's taken a hearty beating at any rate. Nah ~ I'm not talking about issues with Kirk [does the man like me or not?!?! does he even know?!?!] I'm talking about the Graphic Artist job in our Creative Services department. Which I didn't get. I knew it was a long shot, b/c of my limited training on Macs. She had said during the interview that it wouldn't be an issue if I was chosen, b/c most of them were all trained on the job. BUT ~ she filled the position with someone who had more training. Which, of course, is her own perogative...but why mislead me and give me false hope? Heck, why interview me in the first place? Argh!!!! I'm really kind of bummed about this...I really really really wanted that job. :'(

Well, that was short lived. Kirk didn't the note until Tuesday morning. Sigh. Now I'll have to find out why he didn't look happy Tuesday night when I saw him. Did something in my note piss him off...or was he upset b/c I didn't show?

I need a break from life. I hope that doesn't sounds too depressive. I'm tired of going to work and then coming home and going to sleep, generally after working on one blog post or another. Sleeping on my days off and donig laundry or some other dumb chore. I just want to have some fun, if even for a day or two. I have to wait until September for the Glen trip that the girls were talking about Sunday morning. Far more tame that what Christina was planning for NYCity...but then - oh wait - she's not even invited on this trip! Or the one next year to Tennessee. That'll be cool. Christina isn't invited on that trip either. LGS3 has been trying my talents as a writer. I do tend to rattle on when writing. But then, the last challenge was about the Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek 2, which is basically a battle scene, and I've never been very good at writing those. Bennett says I need to tighten my delivery, but that my post have been generally entertaining. K

Man oh man...between work and LGS3 I've been so busy! Mom goes in for some minor surgery this morning, so I'm actually about ready to lay down to see if I can't get a few hours sleep. The irony of my life...Mom was dad's chief caretaker...the first five were absolutely no help. Now, I bear the weight of looking after Mom...each one of my siblings have a good excuse not to help out more. What shall I do when Mom needs more seriou scare? How mad shall I go then. more later.

...extremely long. I was a paper carrier for a week. One of them got himself arrested and I was asked if I'd fill in for him for 'four or five days'...which turned into seven. Sigh. It was a very long week. Which is why I haven't been posting, emailing, or much of anything. My post for LGS could have been better, but I just didn't have the time. If they don't vote me off, I'll do better with the next challenge. ok. I'm still tired, so I'm off and get back to y'all later. :)

Well, it's about time! One of our cats has been missing the past couple days. He, Goldie, finally came home today. Silly cat. The other cat, Smokie, had her litter the other day. Maybe that's why Goldie ran off? He didn't want the responsibility? LOL. My blood tests finally came back. The only thing that was off was my blood sugar. It was a little high for the doctor. He wants to try controling it by diet before he puts me on meds. And I have to get repoked next week. I have an interview Tuesday, right before my next Physical Therapy session. It's for a job uptown. I'm so excited. Even if I don't get it, she's willing to interview me! yay! Off to watch tv and catch up on my shows.

...therapy I mean. That's right. I have to go to physical therapy to recover from my falls back in Feb. Doc K didn't like the x-ray results so he sent me to the Pain Clinic up to RPH who prescribed the PT. Twice a week Oye! And the physical therapist I saw wasn't one bit happy with how stiff I am. He wondered how I was able to do anything at all. I told him: darvocet. I have to keep a constant stream of that stuff in me to be able to function and not be totally distracted by the hurting. Which totally sucks. It does make me a little happier though, so I don't mind when it doesn't cover all the pain. His poking and prodding stirred it all up and so it was a little rough at work last night. I had to do Tina's job, so Boss Jerry was there to do mine and even after I was done with Tina's job and could do my own, he stuck around and lent a helping hand. He even relieved me so I could have a lunch break! {why can't he do that more often??!?!?! lol!

Yay! My sister had her baby just before 7AM. It's a boy, just like the ultrasound said it would be.

Well...my sister is in the hospital again. Her bloodpressure went high again, but she is in the early stages of labor! Yay! They're giving her something to help encourage the labor, but if it doesn't kick in soon, they'll send her home. I ask you, does that really make any sense? Last night was wretched at work. Boss Jerry was there, and that means he haunts my plateroom until the Sunday is done. At least A section, then he's not around as much for sports, unless they lallygag about it. I feel like he doesn't trust me to get the job done, but Tempy says that he just wants the paper to be done and over. Whatever. His presence doesn't make things go any faster. Unless those uptown know that he's there. Which they knew tonight. But I've got Sunday and Monday nights off and I'm going to concentrate on my post for LGS3. It's got to be good. I don't want to submit something half par you know. And I've got three new Star Trek boo

Testing something:

Hmm. I am taking part in a Blog "reality" contest over at Last Gladiator Standing III If nothing else, it'll keep me out of trouble...maybe! In other less exciting news: My x-rays came back yesterday. Or maybe it was Monday. Anyway. There was no evidence of new injury...but apparently there was evidence of an old one...!!!!! Well, to be honest, I'm not surprised. I mean, I have fallen on my backside a total of 6 times since October of 2007...so I guess I can take my pick as to when it happened. Still no baby. Sara was in the hospital over the weekend for high blood pressure, but I guess it was nothing out of the ordinary for a pregnancy. They just hospitialized her for observation. The Midwife said that her body wasn't any where near ready to give birth. I got to see Kirk for a bit tonight. The hero who saved me from needing a jumpstart last week. :) And Tina timed my break just right, I was outside catching some fresh air when Kirk was leaving for the night. I

Well, I had a doctors appointment earlier this week. He wouldn't give me a new prescription for darvocet, which is wise b/c one wouldn't want me to get addicted. It's kind of nice to know that he cares enough to have me come in. He had me twist and bend so that he could see where things started hurting...which, since I'd been off the meds since Saturday, it wasn't too much of a stretch before I had to say, "yup, it starts hurting right there." Sooooo, I get to have Xrays on my back. I've been trying for a couple of days to get to the hospital but it hasn't been happening...but it ought to happen later today. AND ~ I even get to have blood work to make sure that the darvocet isn't hurting my liver. While I hate needles, this is probably a good thing too. Blech. Dieting. Sigh. Yeah. When I was at the doc's, I wieghed in at 295. :( That means I gained back almost all of the weight I had lost a few years ago. So...I'm thinking o

Technically, I only worked 39.5 hours this week, putting me half an hour short. But Supervisor Rob said that I could go and if I was off any, he'd fix my timecard so I'd get a full 40. Which is only fair if you count all the extra "unpaid" minutes I work...you have to punch out after a certain time to get paid the full half hour, usually about ten minutes until the next hour/half hour. And because I busted my butt for him tonight. Sunday Comics was preinserted last Sunday night, and we insert that prepack into TV Guide for another prepack...and it just wasn't running through the inserter last night. So he ran what he could, and two of us were handstuffing comics in while the rest was getting stacked for later. I know that the other two people were switching off and taking turns flying the inserter and hand stuffing...but, I handstuffed an entire cart to their half a cart....!!! What the heck???!!!??? Such is life I guess. My sister Sara is due to have her b

I am feeling nice and light right about now. Probably has something to do with the wine cooler I just downed. Yeah. I've got the next two days off of work. yay! I so don't want to be there. One of the reasons why my friend Carl quit was b/c of something Boss Jerry said. About how the only person out on the mailroom floor that he trusts is Chrisitna of all people. That man is so blind. You can't let your personal feelings for a person get in the way of business. I don't blame Carl for leaving, I just wish he'd given me a little warning the last time we talked. Ok, I'm having trouble typing, probably that wine cooler. No doubt it'll be fun later when a certain English friend of mine logs onto Yahoo... :)

I feel so lonely right now. I go to work with the same people night after night. None of them know me really. Not who I really am. Oh, they all like me, and are amused at some of my antics. They especially like it when I give myself a sugar high. But no one ever wants to look beneath the surface of the facade I give them. I have to give them that facade, because if there is anything that I learned from my time at First Baptist is that no one wants to see beyond it...such nakedness frightens people. I suppose that I am faced with the same facades in others. Christina brags about how she is only really open with a few people. That came from a conversation we had about why she was being nasty to me. I wasn't asking her to be "open" with me...as I can see far deeper into her than she would probably like...I was just asking that she treat me decently! Anyway. Some people I would be interested in getting to know better, others I already know too well. I live with the same peopl

I am too incompetent to change the background pic on a computer. It might mess something up. We are talking about the computer I use at work. Puh-leeeze! Changing the background has no effect on the other programs. Apparently Jerry was right, all they expect back there is a trained monkey. You know, someone who can do menial tasks over and over again and not think for themselves or ask questions {unless you don't know how to do somethinge}. So maybe I ought to give them what they expect? Argh! No wonder I feel "banana's" so often!! I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

The fortune cookies all lied. Kirk was never home. Although I will keep trying until I find him home to ask him my question. He is my favorite pressman, even though he was a traitor and went to Dayshift. Can say that I blame him...if I had the chance, so would I! Anything to get away from Christina. Carl....QUIT! However, he did give me his phone number a week ago so at the very least he considered me a friend that he would want to continue being friends with outside of work. He's been unhappy at work for months now, I'm actually a little surprised that he stayed on as long as he did. He was a "no call, no show" though and that doesn't strike me as normal for him. Maybe he was told last time [b/c of car trouble and no cell service] that if it happened again, not to bother to come in...who knows? We do live in a very hilly area where cell service is spotty in some places. Christina was bitching about how it wasn't fair that she had to fly the inserter

Not much going on today. Going out to vote in a few. Mom's bitching about doing nothing but dishes for the past two days. Hmmm...I seem to remember having to do that not to long ago so it's all fair to me. Still horny. My favorite Pressman hasn't been home whenever I've wanted to stop in. So now what? Screw the married guy and try him again later? My life sucks.

There are some things that are hard to write about here, even though I am just another faceless blogger...one "bitch and moan" venter. I've made some decisions this past week, that I am nervous about. There is this one man at work that is one big flirt. He flirts with all of us, even though he's a married man. He makes no secret that he has a rather 'open' marriage. Well. I'm tired of chasing after my favorite pressmen, who doesn't respond beyond smiling. So, sometime today, after I've slept, I'm stopping by my favorite pressman's house and asking him if he'd like to make use of the rubbers in my purse. If he doesn't, I'm going to use them with the other guy. I'll probably hate myself next week, but I've been so aroused this week that it's been distracting. And he's been the only one giving me any kind of attention. I adore Kirk, and he's my first choice, on this side of the ocean, so I'm really

because "pain" was mentioned 4 times..."suck" was mentioned 2 times...and "sex" was mentioned once. Only once? Well, at least twice now! I've upped all those words by one now. I wonder if that's enough to up my rating?

I wish it were that easy Sunny. To live my own life. I was for almost 5 years. But circumstances, some beyond my control, and a mother wonderful at emotional blackmail changed things. the only freedom I find is at work, when Boss Jerry isn't there, and here online in the wee hours when everyone else is in bed. Things have been a bit different this week though. Mom walked the dogs...once. And she kept up on dishes so there wasn't a pile Sunday. She far from being cripple, and can do far more than she lets on to other people. That really kind of rubs me the wrong way. Work is going ok, I guess. Though Boss Jerry has stuck his nose into my room more than usual this past week. What is up with that? It gave me a new appreciation for Supervisor Rob. Nothing much else to report. I have to get back to working on my short story, but my heart hasn't been into it recently. I have been writing poetry again, so there is that much. I'm going to go walk the dogs and lay dow

:( I didn't get to church last night. The Warden in my new prison didn't let me out. No, I had to stay and make supper...the much complicated task of opening frozen pizza and sliding it into the oven. And then I had to work on the dishes that no one has bothered with for two weeks. So - the oven door is broken. I'm sure that is a reasonable excuse as to why she couldn't fix her own dinner. I mean, she complains that she can't stand for long periods of time. Well, there wouldn't have been any of that as I was on the computer during each pizza. So it must have been the door. And I guess I'm just as guilty about the dishes. I shouldn't be the only one doing it though. And if she would get up and do stuff a little more often...light activities wouldn't wipe her out. I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again. I've been brought in to do the "bitch work" and pay the bills. Regardless of the fact that I work a minimum of 40 ho

I am definately in a Star Trek kind of mood. No doubt about it. I say this because I just ordered a Star Trek book off of Amazon.com. I love that place, and no doubt they love me! But anyway, it was actually another bookstore through Amazon. I'm getting "Strangers From The Sky." Like any other Trek book, it's not "canon" but it is one of the better stories. Let's be honest, they're not all good stories. But anyway...it's a book I used to have and got rid of in a moment of spiritual zealousy. And I'm buying it again. What can I say..it's a good book. The kids were at it again tonight at work. Christina and Supervisor Rob had a bet going...he couldn't pick on anyone or he would have to wear a girly shirt. I'm not sure what he got if he won, it must have been bad because when they were setting the rules to the bet with me as judge {how the heck did that happen?}..they wouldn't tell me...so I probably don't want t

Sooo......Christina brought in cake the other night. Angel food cake with pineapples and pudding mixed together, and strawberries and cherries and coolwhip for toppings. It was really kind of good, though I think I would leave the pineapples out. Anyway...Crazy Jerry [not to be confused with Boss Jerry] and Carl stepped out for a smoke afterwards, leaving me, Christina and Rob in the breakroom. Rob was griping because Crazy Jerry had left his plate behind for him to throw away...and Christina starts trying to get Rob to throw away a small bag of garbage that she had...he refused, something to do with her calling him a pushover earlier in the night...and she starts begging, really pretty like...and two of her sentences "I suck your dick," and "I give you pleasure" really made me wonder if she remembered I was still there. Well, we've all been thinking that the two of them were getting it on, and this kind of confirms it. Of course, it's my word against t

Jean-Luc and K tell me I need to make it a point to have some time to myself. This makes sense..it's just never that easy. I was sharing with Jean-Luc via email that it feels like I have to lie to get out of the house by myself. I used the bank yesterday, though every word was true...I really did have to make it to the bank before 4:30...but I also had the chance the night before to just let Paige put the check in the bank for me, and I turned her down saying it would get me out of the house sooner. I might try making a doctor's appointment and not telling her the real time so I can be by myself longer, of course, I'll be in a pickle if she has something she wants to do that day too. I really do need to go though, I have to get my birth control renewed...this week's monthly has been horrid and I've only been off it a month. I got lucky today. Mother had an eye doctors appointment and so I have the trailor to myself for a little bit. And so I'm blogging!!!

This is why I didn't want to move back home. I know it's good that I'm here to help Mom. But I feel like the umbilical cord has been reattached. I can't even go out on my own without her having to tag along. I realize that it makes sense for us to both go to the same town if she has business there as well...but this means that I can't visit Paige with any sense of freedom. How can I leave the stress of Mom nad her needs behind when she's with me?! She wants to go have the eyedoctors look at her glasses because the one lense is popping out. I know I'm so selfish for being cranky about this, but I can't seem to ever get away by myself!!! I mean, work doesn't count, because have you any idea how stressful that place can be? Any job is like this, even the ones we like. I like to get away from there once in a while too. I have no where to hide anymore! I hate this part of my life. I really do. I feel like I've taken a thousand steps backwa

Gasp ......I have posted a first attempt on Practice Makes Perfect . It's something that was actually published in the newspaper as a letter to the editor. Yikes!

Sigh. My favorite pressmen Kirk is going to Dayshift...starting Friday!!!! I knew it was going to happen, I just didn't expect it this soon. What am I going to do now? There are things that Kirk does that the other night pressmen don't...like coming to get plates at midnight when things are running late from editorial. Like putting on plates soon after he gets them. It so irks me when I've busted my aching buns to get plates out there and they're left to sit while they go take a smoke break. This is ok if we're on time, but the incident I'm thinking of was a night when we were running late. And I wonder if I'll get to see him any more at all. The last time he was on days, for the six week rotation that they all had to go through, I only saw him once and that was a fluke b/c he was leaving later then usual and I was earlier than usual. Of course, I was moving at taht time and didn't have time to stop by like I have a habit of doing. I did try calling thou

I take it back! I was going to try to go to work without darvocet...but I've been in so much pain, I think I have to take it back and go back on it. :( My knee has been crunchy...it's like I've got a hand of claws resting on my knee and when I go to stand up, the claws just curl into the bottom of my knee. Which really kind of confuses me b/c I though the shot of cortisone and xylocaine was supposed to fix that. My back has started aching again, too. So I guess the meds were doing something more than just making me happy, huh? It also makes me run off at the mouth, which is a side effect I don't really like. The Easter bunny came late this year. I didn't go out shopping for chocolate and goodies until this afternoon...of course, everything was half off. Still, I ended up spending waaaay too much...like, $40 in less than half an hour. Ok, I got kitty litter and some Pasta Roni's too, so it wasn't all chocolate and sugar. Ok, I've got to take a b

Ok, I'm a little late, but like Christmas, Easter is a holiday that can be celebrated more than just one day a year! Our Easter was kind of low-key this year. I worked until 4AM getting the paper out, so I slept until just after noon. None of us went to church, not even for a sunrise service. Mom was wiped out from our food shopping on Saturday, her knee just doesn't co-operate with her. She has a worse time with her knee than I do mine. Hers justs hurts for no reason other than a goofy genetic defect. Me, I sprained mine dancing like a pentacostal idiot in Ohio last fall. So, we slept late and just fixed dinner at a "whenever" rate. Liston made a batch of Hot Cross buns, with raisins...and then I made my batch, without raisins!! He even made the homemade rolls this year too. We had a simple spread - ham, mashed potatoes, squash, green-bean casserole, the rolls, and ham gravy. Mom had a wine cooler and I went of the darvocet today so that I could have a gl