Window Into My Reality

Well, there is now a paperback version of my novel available.  It can be purchased directly from CreateSpace  Here  and will be available on Amazon.com as well.  I don't have a link there yet as it's not up yet. idk what else to say really.  I'm excited, nervous all at once.  It's a good book, I've gotten plenty of good reports from people on Facebook who've read it.  A lot say that they can't put it down.  I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who can't pull themselves out of the story once they start reading it.  Craig and Angela's life consumes me...scenes from their life together just keep replaying in my head.  Makes work go by a little bit quicker. lol Of course, it's frustrating at work, because I have all this great stuff floating around in my head and I no longer dare write on the back of my breakdown sheet during the 'slow times' because the bosses are getting anal about who'd not working hard enough during ...

The suspense is killing us! Ok, it's not quite that bad. But close. I mean really, today was Thursday...and they still aren't sure if we're working this Saturday or not? Someone is certainly playing their cards close to their chest. How lame. Not much interesting is going on at the moment. I only get on the computer a few times a week, I hop between working on my Zion story from my other website and my Dragon Dream story. I don't know if that's good or not, the hopping, but since I'm not into new material yet, it's probably 'ok' lol! Well, I did do an online application for Justin. Since he won't do them himself. Not that I can overly blaim him. They seem to take longer online for some reason. I only did the Kmart one and that took about an hour. The Dollar General one said that it could take from 30-60 minutes and since it's already 7pm and I want to relax some more before bed, I decided that could wait until tomorrow! Lol ...

The price for having Thanksgiving day off at my job is: having to work the following Saturday. BOOOO!! At least we only worked 5.5 hours today. There is that much. Since we also have Monday off - we get an extra holiday a year and they give it to us on the first day of rifle hunting season, go fif. lol. But we'll probbly have to work next Saturday too because of that. Oh well, at least it'll look nice in the paycheck. Given the stress I was under today, tryig to catch all my product (damn knuckles anyway) and train my new hire...I am so ready not to go back on Tuesday. I wonder if Unemployment would except stress and insanity as a good reason to quit. Probably not. Of coure, when it rains it pours. Justin had pulled the engine in our blue dodge when the engine in our green dodge decides to go! So now he's trying to get the blue one back together so he can work on the green one. The green one was a gift from his parents, a truck he's wanted since a teen. Th...

Finally!! The weekend is here! I am so tired! And I didn't even work 40 hours this week...let;s see...6 on Monday, 7 on Tuesday, 4.5 on Wednesday, 7 on Thursday, 5.5 today{Friday}=30 hours. I left early on Monday for an 'interview' at Dupont, was late on Wednesday, left early today to take Mom to the Packer so she could be "pre-admitted" for her procedure in February. Still, 30 hours in that wretched cold place certainly feels like 40. And then some. Not to mention its COLD on the outside too! The bank temp said 11degrees F on my way home from Mom's. I have new bruises this week from the awkwardness of my work station. Which no one cares about. The Blue Hat, my immediate suprvisor, gave me another product to pull off...so if I have everything, I have the potential to have 8 different products to pull of the line. When I commented about how overwhelmed I was feeling, the answer I got, other than to come to work everyday, was, "If I can do it, I ...

So, we called in to work today...again! This makes about 12 1/2 points for Justin and 11 for me. When we hit 15 we're terminated. I'm a little worried about Justin. I have another job all lined up, though I won't give notice until I'm sure I'm signed on. I don't know why Justin is calling off though...I call if he does, because I don't trust him alone with the puppy Jacalyn...he has a tendancy to not be in control of himself when he gets mad or frustrated...and the last time I left them alone, for an hour and a half, they somehow managed to get doggy poo on our ceiling!!! He still won't tell me how that happened, though I know it had something to do with walking her on the treadmill. Which she doesn't like. !!!! An hour and a half! What would I come home to if I left them alone all day??? I'm going to go work for Caregivers of America. It'll be home health kind of stuff. A little over a dollar pay drop, but it won't be refrigerator temps...

So far, my new job is just that...a job. It is tiring, makes my bad knee cranky, and is cold. Of course, meat needs to be kept at a certain temp so it won't spoil. But it's not easy to work in it. I've bee there 2 weeks, and I've gotten a cold from it. Hopefully I'll get over it quickly and adjust. As long as I'm pulling that packages meat off the line, I'm warm enough. Since I'm new at it, I am actually working up a small sweat. Overall, I'm enjoying most of it. Sort of. I'm a "maroon hat"...meaning I'm a new hire just learning the job. Justin's dad, who also works at Cargill, has been talking with my line leader, a "blue hat" who's like an assistant supervisor...and he says taht she says I'm pushing myself too hard. ROFLMAO!!! Uhm...where has she been when the "white hat" (regular employee) has been rushing me!?!?!?! Sheesh. But since I can't do things half way, I am pushing myself ...

Well, my days of loafing are over. Starting Monday morning anyway. I had my tour of the plant today, and I must say that I don't ever want to see a cow "knocked" ever again. One minute they're alive, being led in, BAM then they're dead. Must be the girl in me. I can handle every other part of the process, I just don't want to see that again. Well, so long as I'm not the one that has to degut them...that didn't look pleasant either. Though I bet there's more money in that position. Anyway, I'll be in the processing part somewhere. "Product pull off" I hope that means I'm pulling the meat off the line after someone else has already pulled it off the cow. Not that I couldn't use a knife if I had to, I just prefer not to. I'm far too clumsy to trust myself even using safe methods. Orientation is 7am sharp Monday morning, and continued Tuesday. I'll actually start learning the job on Wednesday. I haven't qui...

I must be mad. Truly. I just signed up with Facebook. Like I don't already have enough to do! LOL! Not much going on tonight. Catching up on internet stuff. Haven't gotten to MySpace yet. I forget about that sometimes. Good luck with facebook then huh? I had to remind myself to be grateful tonight for having a job. It's not that I'm not grateful that Monika took the layoff and I got to go back to work. It's not even that I dislike my job. I just don't like going in anymore. Oh well. Like I said to God, I'll get over it. Part of it is the wierd hours, but as Jerry said tonight that's only for a couple more months. He's not even sure what will happen when we go from computer to plate, but he doesn't think they'll eliminate another person....can't lose too many more! I fell in the bathtub Sat. morning. Banged my side up...HUGE black and blue mark...and I'm really kind of achy. But at least I didn't break a rib or an...

That I sit here and wonder. Wonder what, I don't know exactly. Too many things all at once...maybe that's why I get headaches...lol! Aw, I just sit here bored. Justin is at work and it's just me and the stupid cats and they're not very good company. I've done the dishes, all that remains is to dry them and put stuff away. I suppose I could sweep, but I don't feel up to it right now...ok, I just don't want to. Maybe later. I have answered emails, could probably go through some of the archived ones. I've phoned a few old friends. Talked over an hour with the one. I'll probably just do what I'm doing now...sit here and wonder and think while I cruise the net. I might pull out some stories and work on them. I have to check my bank account, see if my check's gone in. Although since Justin forgot to take my debit card with him, it's not going to put gas in the truck unless he speeds home on lunch. I wonder if he'll call me like ...

Don't ever go back to work early from sick leave. It's not worth it. Not even on light duty. I've had to do other people's jobs and rearrange my schedule. It's all back to normal next week, but the point it - what would they have done if I had stayed off like I wanted to?!?! I only went back to be nice because they lost two people while I was gone...the new guy messed up his drug test and Christina either quit or was fired. That's probably the best news I have right now. Apparently she was written up twice in one night and she didn't think she should have been b/c "Everybody does it" so she cleaned out her locker and told co-workers that she was quitting. So when she came back on her next night, she was told that she couldn't come back to work without talking to Brian first. She talked to Brian and tried to convince him that Tempy was singling her out, but it didn't convince him and she hasn't been back. I haven't checked her MySpac...

Ok, not much is going on here. I'm almost back to my normal sleeping schedule...back to being a nightshifter. I still sleep a good bit, though I think I'm almost caught up. I still don't do a whole lot because those staples in my stomach are still there and it really kind of hurts to bump them. The gang at work got me a card. I went in to pick up a school candy order tonight and picked it up. Almost everybody signed it...even a few of the characters on dayshift signed it! Awww...I feel loooooved! Well, sort of. LOL! Really, I thought it was nice of everyone. And BOO on those who didn't sign! There is a good chance the one isn't there anymore! Christina was written up twice - one for looking at other people's time cards [hello - if she wasn't punching them in or out for lunch, she had no business looking at tehm!] and one for goofing off during the Daily. Uhm - nothing wrong with goofing off...you just don't make a habit of it during the Daily...

Every once in a while, I almost think I have an interesting life. Not often, just once in a while. Sunday morning, like, between 4 and 5 am, I get home from putting the Sunday paper together...I flip on the computer, you know, check email and log onto Yahoo Messenger so I can have my weekly chat with Jean-Luc and there was an Add Request...from my EX of all people! It's been almost 2 years since we've even talked...and I've only seen him in passing a handfull of times. Curious, I decide to add him just because I want to see what he wants. Turns out - he just wanted sex. {eyeball roll} Apparently his chicky that he left me for, left him! It couldn't have happened to a nicer fella. After laughing my ass of, I told him - no, I'm not that lonely. Ever ! This after Saturday night on the inserter, Justin yakking my ear off even though there was a coworker in between us. Justin said something to me, that just irritated me...I don't even remember what it was n...

If a fish falls out of the water...does it drown on air? I don't know, but I do know that if the aquarium is too crowded...then the fish can drown right in the water. What do you think? Believe it or not - but this question has spawned something of a war at work...and it's not pretty. Some people just have to be right no matter what the cost. I found a neat website...it's full of quotes. Which is good because I was looking for my favorite by Emily Dickenson..."They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse." I've already posted it on my MySpace blog, and I'll probably post more there since it's not my "real" blog --- shhhhhh --- don't tell! Off for some sleep. :)

Well, that was actually a rather boring birthday. I slept most of it away, one of the curses/blessings of working nightshift I geuss. No cake, no cards, although I can't complain too much as there were a few well-wishers. Tempy sang to me half a dozen times, Creative Services put in a happy ad for me. I didn't explode, which is always a good thing! Caught myself wanting to cry too many times to count...that entire single and no kids thing still hurts. But, I survived. That's what counts! Work is same old drama. Rob was fired and so Christina is pouting. Tempy is the new supervisor, so I guess she's not going to be in the pressroom as much anymore. And actually, there's nothing much else interesting to tell there. I guess I'm in a boring mundane stretch. Which is ok. Better than one crisis after another! I have to go write a Zion post. Want to hear something crazy? Sure you do, or you wouldn't be reading my blog in the first place. Anyway, I've been t...

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have had my hope smashed last night. It's taken a hearty beating at any rate. Nah ~ I'm not talking about issues with Kirk [does the man like me or not?!?! does he even know?!?!] I'm talking about the Graphic Artist job in our Creative Services department. Which I didn't get. I knew it was a long shot, b/c of my limited training on Macs. She had said during the interview that it wouldn't be an issue if I was chosen, b/c most of them were all trained on the job. BUT ~ she filled the position with someone who had more training. Which, of course, is her own perogative...but why mislead me and give me false hope? Heck, why interview me in the first place? Argh!!!! I'm really kind of bummed about this...I really really really wanted that job. :'(

Technically, I only worked 39.5 hours this week, putting me half an hour short. But Supervisor Rob said that I could go and if I was off any, he'd fix my timecard so I'd get a full 40. Which is only fair if you count all the extra "unpaid" minutes I work...you have to punch out after a certain time to get paid the full half hour, usually about ten minutes until the next hour/half hour. And because I busted my butt for him tonight. Sunday Comics was preinserted last Sunday night, and we insert that prepack into TV Guide for another prepack...and it just wasn't running through the inserter last night. So he ran what he could, and two of us were handstuffing comics in while the rest was getting stacked for later. I know that the other two people were switching off and taking turns flying the inserter and hand stuffing...but, I handstuffed an entire cart to their half a cart....!!! What the heck???!!!??? Such is life I guess. My sister Sara is due to have her b...

I am feeling nice and light right about now. Probably has something to do with the wine cooler I just downed. Yeah. I've got the next two days off of work. yay! I so don't want to be there. One of the reasons why my friend Carl quit was b/c of something Boss Jerry said. About how the only person out on the mailroom floor that he trusts is Chrisitna of all people. That man is so blind. You can't let your personal feelings for a person get in the way of business. I don't blame Carl for leaving, I just wish he'd given me a little warning the last time we talked. Ok, I'm having trouble typing, probably that wine cooler. No doubt it'll be fun later when a certain English friend of mine logs onto Yahoo... :)

I am too incompetent to change the background pic on a computer. It might mess something up. We are talking about the computer I use at work. Puh-leeeze! Changing the background has no effect on the other programs. Apparently Jerry was right, all they expect back there is a trained monkey. You know, someone who can do menial tasks over and over again and not think for themselves or ask questions {unless you don't know how to do somethinge}. So maybe I ought to give them what they expect? Argh! No wonder I feel "banana's" so often!! I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

The fortune cookies all lied. Kirk was never home. Although I will keep trying until I find him home to ask him my question. He is my favorite pressman, even though he was a traitor and went to Dayshift. Can say that I blame him...if I had the chance, so would I! Anything to get away from Christina. Carl....QUIT! However, he did give me his phone number a week ago so at the very least he considered me a friend that he would want to continue being friends with outside of work. He's been unhappy at work for months now, I'm actually a little surprised that he stayed on as long as he did. He was a "no call, no show" though and that doesn't strike me as normal for him. Maybe he was told last time [b/c of car trouble and no cell service] that if it happened again, not to bother to come in...who knows? We do live in a very hilly area where cell service is spotty in some places. Christina was bitching about how it wasn't fair that she had to fly the inserter ...

I am definately in a Star Trek kind of mood. No doubt about it. I say this because I just ordered a Star Trek book off of Amazon.com. I love that place, and no doubt they love me! But anyway, it was actually another bookstore through Amazon. I'm getting "Strangers From The Sky." Like any other Trek book, it's not "canon" but it is one of the better stories. Let's be honest, they're not all good stories. But anyway...it's a book I used to have and got rid of in a moment of spiritual zealousy. And I'm buying it again. What can I say..it's a good book. The kids were at it again tonight at work. Christina and Supervisor Rob had a bet going...he couldn't pick on anyone or he would have to wear a girly shirt. I'm not sure what he got if he won, it must have been bad because when they were setting the rules to the bet with me as judge {how the heck did that happen?}..they wouldn't tell me...so I probably don't want t...