Window Into My Reality

This is why I didn't want to move back home. I know it's good that I'm here to help Mom. But I feel like the umbilical cord has been reattached. I can't even go out on my own without her having to tag along. I realize that it makes sense for us to both go to the same town if she has business there as well...but this means that I can't visit Paige with any sense of freedom. How can I leave the stress of Mom nad her needs behind when she's with me?! She wants to go have the eyedoctors look at her glasses because the one lense is popping out. I know I'm so selfish for being cranky about this, but I can't seem to ever get away by myself!!! I mean, work doesn't count, because have you any idea how stressful that place can be? Any job is like this, even the ones we like. I like to get away from there once in a while too. I have no where to hide anymore! I hate this part of my life. I really do. I feel like I've taken a thousand steps backwa...

Gasp ......I have posted a first attempt on Practice Makes Perfect . It's something that was actually published in the newspaper as a letter to the editor. Yikes!

Sigh. My favorite pressmen Kirk is going to Dayshift...starting Friday!!!! I knew it was going to happen, I just didn't expect it this soon. What am I going to do now? There are things that Kirk does that the other night pressmen don't...like coming to get plates at midnight when things are running late from editorial. Like putting on plates soon after he gets them. It so irks me when I've busted my aching buns to get plates out there and they're left to sit while they go take a smoke break. This is ok if we're on time, but the incident I'm thinking of was a night when we were running late. And I wonder if I'll get to see him any more at all. The last time he was on days, for the six week rotation that they all had to go through, I only saw him once and that was a fluke b/c he was leaving later then usual and I was earlier than usual. Of course, I was moving at taht time and didn't have time to stop by like I have a habit of doing. I did try calling thou...

I take it back! I was going to try to go to work without darvocet...but I've been in so much pain, I think I have to take it back and go back on it. :( My knee has been crunchy...it's like I've got a hand of claws resting on my knee and when I go to stand up, the claws just curl into the bottom of my knee. Which really kind of confuses me b/c I though the shot of cortisone and xylocaine was supposed to fix that. My back has started aching again, too. So I guess the meds were doing something more than just making me happy, huh? It also makes me run off at the mouth, which is a side effect I don't really like. The Easter bunny came late this year. I didn't go out shopping for chocolate and goodies until this afternoon...of course, everything was half off. Still, I ended up spending waaaay too much...like, $40 in less than half an hour. Ok, I got kitty litter and some Pasta Roni's too, so it wasn't all chocolate and sugar. Ok, I've got to take a b...

Ok, I'm a little late, but like Christmas, Easter is a holiday that can be celebrated more than just one day a year! Our Easter was kind of low-key this year. I worked until 4AM getting the paper out, so I slept until just after noon. None of us went to church, not even for a sunrise service. Mom was wiped out from our food shopping on Saturday, her knee just doesn't co-operate with her. She has a worse time with her knee than I do mine. Hers justs hurts for no reason other than a goofy genetic defect. Me, I sprained mine dancing like a pentacostal idiot in Ohio last fall. So, we slept late and just fixed dinner at a "whenever" rate. Liston made a batch of Hot Cross buns, with raisins...and then I made my batch, without raisins!! He even made the homemade rolls this year too. We had a simple spread - ham, mashed potatoes, squash, green-bean casserole, the rolls, and ham gravy. Mom had a wine cooler and I went of the darvocet today so that I could have a gl...

Well, the Doctor called me Sunday night with the results of my MRI. How cool is that? I think it's only fair since the MRI was really kind of scary for me. I was only in the machine up to the bottom of my ribcage, but apparently I am more claustrophobic than I realized. Yikes ! But anyway, it's really good news. Nothing is torn or broken [although that's from the x-rays I had a few weeks ago.] I either bruised the knee cap, or sprained it really badly...or both. So I went into the doctors office today and let him poke my knee with a really long needle fille dwith cortisone and xylocaine. Boy, did it hurt...but thankfully no where near as badly as I had imagined. {I also don't like needles and shots!} Work has had me so discouraged these past few weeks. Well, rather the people that I work with. I left a post it note on Kirk's timecard last weekend, filled with flirty XOXO's---only to walk into work Tuesday night to see it on Christina's timecard....!!!What th...

I have an MRI done on my knee later today. I probably ought to go to bed soon. I was up early today, to get ready for a visit from a lady from Area Agency on Aging {AAA} to see if we could get some help for mom. I've been to the chiropractor twice last week, and I feel a litle better...but if I don't keep myself pumped full of pain pills, I hurt so bad that I can barely do my job without crying. So I called my doctor today and got my own prescription for darvocet. Or a generic version...whatever works. I left a very bold flirt for my favorite pressmen at work....a post it note with nothing but 'xoxox's on it. Well, it's bold for me. I'll find out if it went over well with him tonight. :) Hey, he was all smiles the night I landed a kiss on his cheek, so I'm optimistic. I was going to work on my short story, but I've sat at this computer too long tonight and have to take a break. I might just go to bed. I hate hurting like this. At least I haven...

I cannot believe how much controversy a simple babyshower can cause! I feel like I have family members ready to shun me just because I want to throw a shower for my pregnant and unwed sister. All I want to do is show her that I love her, even though I don't approve of her lifestyle. Why is that wrong? Especially if it keeps me off that stupid trip that Christina has planned for that same weekend. It's not so much the thought of going to a bar...or even a stripclub...as it is going to those places with her and the other girls. Sheesh. It's not work I need my two day break from--- it's them!!! Except for Burgandy! I still like her! I have been in so much pain recently from my two falls. I've been to the chiropractor twice, and think I'll have to go again. I'm still waiting to hear from the doctors office about having an MRI done on my knee. So between the back and the knee...I've been taking Mom's darvocets again. I'm going to call the ...