Window Into My Reality

I am feeling nice and light right about now. Probably has something to do with the wine cooler I just downed. Yeah. I've got the next two days off of work. yay! I so don't want to be there. One of the reasons why my friend Carl quit was b/c of something Boss Jerry said. About how the only person out on the mailroom floor that he trusts is Chrisitna of all people. That man is so blind. You can't let your personal feelings for a person get in the way of business. I don't blame Carl for leaving, I just wish he'd given me a little warning the last time we talked. Ok, I'm having trouble typing, probably that wine cooler. No doubt it'll be fun later when a certain English friend of mine logs onto Yahoo... :)

I feel so lonely right now. I go to work with the same people night after night. None of them know me really. Not who I really am. Oh, they all like me, and are amused at some of my antics. They especially like it when I give myself a sugar high. But no one ever wants to look beneath the surface of the facade I give them. I have to give them that facade, because if there is anything that I learned from my time at First Baptist is that no one wants to see beyond it...such nakedness frightens people. I suppose that I am faced with the same facades in others. Christina brags about how she is only really open with a few people. That came from a conversation we had about why she was being nasty to me. I wasn't asking her to be "open" with me...as I can see far deeper into her than she would probably like...I was just asking that she treat me decently! Anyway. Some people I would be interested in getting to know better, others I already know too well. I live with the same peopl

I am too incompetent to change the background pic on a computer. It might mess something up. We are talking about the computer I use at work. Puh-leeeze! Changing the background has no effect on the other programs. Apparently Jerry was right, all they expect back there is a trained monkey. You know, someone who can do menial tasks over and over again and not think for themselves or ask questions {unless you don't know how to do somethinge}. So maybe I ought to give them what they expect? Argh! No wonder I feel "banana's" so often!! I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

The fortune cookies all lied. Kirk was never home. Although I will keep trying until I find him home to ask him my question. He is my favorite pressman, even though he was a traitor and went to Dayshift. Can say that I blame him...if I had the chance, so would I! Anything to get away from Christina. Carl....QUIT! However, he did give me his phone number a week ago so at the very least he considered me a friend that he would want to continue being friends with outside of work. He's been unhappy at work for months now, I'm actually a little surprised that he stayed on as long as he did. He was a "no call, no show" though and that doesn't strike me as normal for him. Maybe he was told last time [b/c of car trouble and no cell service] that if it happened again, not to bother to come in...who knows? We do live in a very hilly area where cell service is spotty in some places. Christina was bitching about how it wasn't fair that she had to fly the inserter

Not much going on today. Going out to vote in a few. Mom's bitching about doing nothing but dishes for the past two days. Hmmm...I seem to remember having to do that not to long ago so it's all fair to me. Still horny. My favorite Pressman hasn't been home whenever I've wanted to stop in. So now what? Screw the married guy and try him again later? My life sucks.

There are some things that are hard to write about here, even though I am just another faceless blogger...one "bitch and moan" venter. I've made some decisions this past week, that I am nervous about. There is this one man at work that is one big flirt. He flirts with all of us, even though he's a married man. He makes no secret that he has a rather 'open' marriage. Well. I'm tired of chasing after my favorite pressmen, who doesn't respond beyond smiling. So, sometime today, after I've slept, I'm stopping by my favorite pressman's house and asking him if he'd like to make use of the rubbers in my purse. If he doesn't, I'm going to use them with the other guy. I'll probably hate myself next week, but I've been so aroused this week that it's been distracting. And he's been the only one giving me any kind of attention. I adore Kirk, and he's my first choice, on this side of the ocean, so I'm really

because "pain" was mentioned 4 times..."suck" was mentioned 2 times...and "sex" was mentioned once. Only once? Well, at least twice now! I've upped all those words by one now. I wonder if that's enough to up my rating?

I wish it were that easy Sunny. To live my own life. I was for almost 5 years. But circumstances, some beyond my control, and a mother wonderful at emotional blackmail changed things. the only freedom I find is at work, when Boss Jerry isn't there, and here online in the wee hours when everyone else is in bed. Things have been a bit different this week though. Mom walked the dogs...once. And she kept up on dishes so there wasn't a pile Sunday. She far from being cripple, and can do far more than she lets on to other people. That really kind of rubs me the wrong way. Work is going ok, I guess. Though Boss Jerry has stuck his nose into my room more than usual this past week. What is up with that? It gave me a new appreciation for Supervisor Rob. Nothing much else to report. I have to get back to working on my short story, but my heart hasn't been into it recently. I have been writing poetry again, so there is that much. I'm going to go walk the dogs and lay dow

:( I didn't get to church last night. The Warden in my new prison didn't let me out. No, I had to stay and make supper...the much complicated task of opening frozen pizza and sliding it into the oven. And then I had to work on the dishes that no one has bothered with for two weeks. So - the oven door is broken. I'm sure that is a reasonable excuse as to why she couldn't fix her own dinner. I mean, she complains that she can't stand for long periods of time. Well, there wouldn't have been any of that as I was on the computer during each pizza. So it must have been the door. And I guess I'm just as guilty about the dishes. I shouldn't be the only one doing it though. And if she would get up and do stuff a little more often...light activities wouldn't wipe her out. I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again. I've been brought in to do the "bitch work" and pay the bills. Regardless of the fact that I work a minimum of 40 ho

I am definately in a Star Trek kind of mood. No doubt about it. I say this because I just ordered a Star Trek book off of Amazon.com. I love that place, and no doubt they love me! But anyway, it was actually another bookstore through Amazon. I'm getting "Strangers From The Sky." Like any other Trek book, it's not "canon" but it is one of the better stories. Let's be honest, they're not all good stories. But anyway...it's a book I used to have and got rid of in a moment of spiritual zealousy. And I'm buying it again. What can I say..it's a good book. The kids were at it again tonight at work. Christina and Supervisor Rob had a bet going...he couldn't pick on anyone or he would have to wear a girly shirt. I'm not sure what he got if he won, it must have been bad because when they were setting the rules to the bet with me as judge {how the heck did that happen?}..they wouldn't tell me...so I probably don't want t

Sooo......Christina brought in cake the other night. Angel food cake with pineapples and pudding mixed together, and strawberries and cherries and coolwhip for toppings. It was really kind of good, though I think I would leave the pineapples out. Anyway...Crazy Jerry [not to be confused with Boss Jerry] and Carl stepped out for a smoke afterwards, leaving me, Christina and Rob in the breakroom. Rob was griping because Crazy Jerry had left his plate behind for him to throw away...and Christina starts trying to get Rob to throw away a small bag of garbage that she had...he refused, something to do with her calling him a pushover earlier in the night...and she starts begging, really pretty like...and two of her sentences "I suck your dick," and "I give you pleasure" really made me wonder if she remembered I was still there. Well, we've all been thinking that the two of them were getting it on, and this kind of confirms it. Of course, it's my word against t

Jean-Luc and K tell me I need to make it a point to have some time to myself. This makes sense..it's just never that easy. I was sharing with Jean-Luc via email that it feels like I have to lie to get out of the house by myself. I used the bank yesterday, though every word was true...I really did have to make it to the bank before 4:30...but I also had the chance the night before to just let Paige put the check in the bank for me, and I turned her down saying it would get me out of the house sooner. I might try making a doctor's appointment and not telling her the real time so I can be by myself longer, of course, I'll be in a pickle if she has something she wants to do that day too. I really do need to go though, I have to get my birth control renewed...this week's monthly has been horrid and I've only been off it a month. I got lucky today. Mother had an eye doctors appointment and so I have the trailor to myself for a little bit. And so I'm blogging!!!