Window Into My Reality

Moving on to other even less delightful topics. What is up with my self described BFF {best friend forever} not even returning a phone call? Paige hasn't even emailed me this week. I tried calling her last Sunday...Roger talked to me for a little while...but it's been a week and I've heard nothing from Paige. I think that hurts worse than anything Nepharia might have done. All she did was damage my pride...Paige is hurting my heart. But then this is nothing new is it? Life has changed so much in the past few years. It can be hard to handle sometimes. I no longer have the same friends...heck, I'm not even sure I have friends. Not like I used to. That is probably one of the hardest things. Ok, I have to finish an email. I'll probably be back later.

Furious with Nepharia, I arm myself with my lightsaver and a ysalamiri and I stride quickly down the hall of the Leviathan Loveboat. I find her in the main promenade, amusing herself by bending the unsuspecting passengers to her will. Which abruptly stops when I come near her with the ysalamiri, whose natural defenses push the Force away from itself, and therefore anything or anyone in its immediate vacinity. She turns in surprise, her lightsabers snapping on. "You? More trouble with the hot water in your room?" she asked sarcastically. "Hardly. I'm here to protest your portraying me as a swooning flake whose sidekick can't even fix the hotwater in their room. Kirk can run a 9 unit press by himself if he has to...somehow, I think he can manage the hot water system of this ship. Especially since it's a living being. And I don't swoon." I flick the switch on my ornamental spear and the purple lightsaber shaft appears. "Ever. I might be a young blo...

I'm pretty sure I was thinking something...and got distracted...I think it was a deep thought...but the truth is...I lost track of it! Oops! It had something to do with how I had described my alter ego over at The Adventures of Ciera & Co. But I'm not sure I remember where the thought was going. Oh well. I think I'm going to have fune with this surperhero blog. It's already beginning to take off in a direction I didn't realize it was going to. Certainly it's going to be a fun blog, where things aren't always serious. How can it be when I've cast Kirk as my 'sidekick'? I'm not sure what he'd make of that, but the character has definately take on his own shape. Even as Ciera has. How odd is that? In a lot ways...Ciera is who I see myself as...or how I want to be. Well, sort of. There is still that element that is completely 'her'. I'm not sure if I can explain it. It is all make-believe though, and that is alw...

Well, they voted me off of LGS3. Men anyways! And I'm not talking about the judges, although Blackade Boy was just as bad as Simon in my opinion. I'm talking about my teammates! I was beginning to lose sleep over it though, so it's maybe not a bad thing. Simon was the worst. Peckerhead. Jon said he thought I did good though, so that counts for something. I fought with Liston again tonight..and I'm not even sure what it was over. He was probably drunk again. I think he comes home looking for a fight when he's like that. All I asked this weekend while Mom was gone was that he wash ONE drainer full of dishes so I wouldn't have to it all on my own. After all, he eats here too! But he had to bitch about how I dirtied one of the frying pans [I kind of burnt it] and I told him he didn't have to wash that one, that I would do it. But no, he had to start swearing and then we were both yelling. I think he ought to just stay the night at his booze friend...

So, my take on challenge 5 for LGS3 was a little different that what has been seen so far. How it will be recieved, Lord only knows. If my brother is following this, I'll probably get in trouble for the pictures I chose, and also how I decided to describe my "character" at some points. The "goddess" one is sure to rub him the wrong way. In this instance, it has nothing to do with deity. But anyway...... One of the ways I described my character, connected to the really cool pic I've posted right here...was "The Fierce Avenger...arbiter of justice...a righter of wrongs..." I thought that my choice of 'arbiter' was interesting...because it is in essense a synonym for Judge. The full definition, as given by ask.com --- #1One chosen or appointed to judge or decide a disputed issue; an arbitrator. #2One who has the power to judge or ordain at will. I'm not sure what it is, but for some reason, this description of my 'character' in t...

Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have had my hope smashed last night. It's taken a hearty beating at any rate. Nah ~ I'm not talking about issues with Kirk [does the man like me or not?!?! does he even know?!?!] I'm talking about the Graphic Artist job in our Creative Services department. Which I didn't get. I knew it was a long shot, b/c of my limited training on Macs. She had said during the interview that it wouldn't be an issue if I was chosen, b/c most of them were all trained on the job. BUT ~ she filled the position with someone who had more training. Which, of course, is her own perogative...but why mislead me and give me false hope? Heck, why interview me in the first place? Argh!!!! I'm really kind of bummed about this...I really really really wanted that job. :'(

Well, that was short lived. Kirk didn't the note until Tuesday morning. Sigh. Now I'll have to find out why he didn't look happy Tuesday night when I saw him. Did something in my note piss him off...or was he upset b/c I didn't show?

I need a break from life. I hope that doesn't sounds too depressive. I'm tired of going to work and then coming home and going to sleep, generally after working on one blog post or another. Sleeping on my days off and donig laundry or some other dumb chore. I just want to have some fun, if even for a day or two. I have to wait until September for the Glen trip that the girls were talking about Sunday morning. Far more tame that what Christina was planning for NYCity...but then - oh wait - she's not even invited on this trip! Or the one next year to Tennessee. That'll be cool. Christina isn't invited on that trip either. LGS3 has been trying my talents as a writer. I do tend to rattle on when writing. But then, the last challenge was about the Kobayashi Maru from Star Trek 2, which is basically a battle scene, and I've never been very good at writing those. Bennett says I need to tighten my delivery, but that my post have been generally entertaining. K...

Man oh man...between work and LGS3 I've been so busy! Mom goes in for some minor surgery this morning, so I'm actually about ready to lay down to see if I can't get a few hours sleep. The irony of my life...Mom was dad's chief caretaker...the first five were absolutely no help. Now, I bear the weight of looking after Mom...each one of my siblings have a good excuse not to help out more. What shall I do when Mom needs more seriou scare? How mad shall I go then. more later.

...extremely long. I was a paper carrier for a week. One of them got himself arrested and I was asked if I'd fill in for him for 'four or five days'...which turned into seven. Sigh. It was a very long week. Which is why I haven't been posting, emailing, or much of anything. My post for LGS could have been better, but I just didn't have the time. If they don't vote me off, I'll do better with the next challenge. ok. I'm still tired, so I'm off and get back to y'all later. :)