Window Into My Reality

I'm a little calmer today. Not by much. That asshole I was stupid enough to give my virginity to will not leave me alone. He's requested me as a friend on "Tagged"....yeah, ok, right....It's too little too late....far too late to try to be my friend. Steven: GO AWAY!!!! I have a new boyfriend. Justin's nicer, kinder, gentler....he's more fun to be with...treats me with respect. I fall a little more in love with him each day. Ok, I'm going to bed. I fell at work tonight and am just a little achy in spots.

posts are going to be thin for a while....few and far between. there's been lines drawn since I've gotten a boyfriend [he's for real too!] and so I will no longer be using the house computer. Don't want to run up the electric bill and stuff, especially since the computer belongs to Mother and Liston ~ even though I've been the one paying the internet. which I'll no longer be doing. have to get to bed.

I have a boyfriend. Not sure how serious it is yet, but so far it's more real than the last one. Want to hear more?

Every once in a while, I almost think I have an interesting life. Not often, just once in a while. Sunday morning, like, between 4 and 5 am, I get home from putting the Sunday paper together...I flip on the computer, you know, check email and log onto Yahoo Messenger so I can have my weekly chat with Jean-Luc and there was an Add Request...from my EX of all people! It's been almost 2 years since we've even talked...and I've only seen him in passing a handfull of times. Curious, I decide to add him just because I want to see what he wants. Turns out - he just wanted sex. {eyeball roll} Apparently his chicky that he left me for, left him! It couldn't have happened to a nicer fella. After laughing my ass of, I told him - no, I'm not that lonely. Ever ! This after Saturday night on the inserter, Justin yakking my ear off even though there was a coworker in between us. Justin said something to me, that just irritated me...I don't even remember what it was n

If a fish falls out of the water...does it drown on air? I don't know, but I do know that if the aquarium is too crowded...then the fish can drown right in the water. What do you think? Believe it or not - but this question has spawned something of a war at work...and it's not pretty. Some people just have to be right no matter what the cost. I found a neat website...it's full of quotes. Which is good because I was looking for my favorite by Emily Dickenson..."They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse." I've already posted it on my MySpace blog, and I'll probably post more there since it's not my "real" blog --- shhhhhh --- don't tell! Off for some sleep. :)

My sister-in-law Liz called last night and wanted someone to ride along with her to WalMart. Well, I was bored and like spending time with her once in a while. We talked about different family issues going on right now. From Liston's attraction, to Duane's possible upcoming leg amputation {Duane's her hubby}. Somewhere in there, our pasts came up. Before marrying my brother, she had a string of lovers...while I didn't even have sex until I was almost 30...at the heart of us, we're really not that different, though I don't know she'd ever see it. Anyway, she made a comment that sometimes she wished that she was more like me...so, dumb-ass that I am, I ask her exactly how she meant that. Her reply? "You've never wanted a steady relationship." Whoa......... When have I ever said that?!?!?!?!?! I would LOVE to find a man who loves me...who wants to know the woman inside as much as much as he wants to fuck the outside woman...just because I haven&#

Mimi had a MeMe posted just the other day. I found her through Jean-Luc who did the meme as well...I didn't get tagged by him because he doesn't tag people, but I felt like doing it anyways. Because I'm bored I guess. What you do, is "google" your name followed by the word needs and see what pops up. All I got for Ciera was a bunch of car stuff, nothing interesting. I'm not going to tag anyone, but feel free to go ahead and do it anyways. Here's a few I got when I googled my real name. I'm placing my screen name in it's place though...just because I feel like it! 1. Ciera Needs Somebody to Love. {well - duh! I've been saying this for years!} 2. Ciera needs You! {Yes you! Now quit looking so surprised and get over here!} 3. Ciera needs a Band. {I do? Does that come with groupies?} 4. Ciera needs help with a little securities fraud. {sounds ugly} 5. Ciera needs your help. {See #2} 6. Ciera does not self-preserve. {that doesn't sound good!}

Well, that was actually a rather boring birthday. I slept most of it away, one of the curses/blessings of working nightshift I geuss. No cake, no cards, although I can't complain too much as there were a few well-wishers. Tempy sang to me half a dozen times, Creative Services put in a happy ad for me. I didn't explode, which is always a good thing! Caught myself wanting to cry too many times to count...that entire single and no kids thing still hurts. But, I survived. That's what counts! Work is same old drama. Rob was fired and so Christina is pouting. Tempy is the new supervisor, so I guess she's not going to be in the pressroom as much anymore. And actually, there's nothing much else interesting to tell there. I guess I'm in a boring mundane stretch. Which is ok. Better than one crisis after another! I have to go write a Zion post. Want to hear something crazy? Sure you do, or you wouldn't be reading my blog in the first place. Anyway, I've been t