Window Into My Reality

So far, this weekend is nicer than last. Justin might be playing his Xbox, but at least he's responding when I talk to him! That was getting so old! Boys and their toys! He's been much more attentive since our talk, though. Not sure if we're doing anything, as in going out. Tempy wasn't home when I tried visiting last night, so maybe I'll go tonight if she's home, maybe. Justin's talked about going to visit a second cousin of his, and I'm not sure if I want to go. I kind of just want to stay home. It's not as cold as it was, but it's still winter! I have to get back to writing my short story. Not sure why I hit slack time with that. Trying not to drag it out as long as The Wheel of Time series! lol! I've been rereading the first book of the series, The Eye of the World . Remembering why I liked it in the first place. Lord only knows if I'll make through the other bazillion books in the series, I think there's something li...

I's tired. Yes, I know that's not proper English. But that's ok. Cuz it's the truth! lol! I was so pampered at the Daily, and we've had such short weeks at Carill recently that I don't know what it's like to work an 8 hours day! We put one in yesterday though and another today. Don't know about tomorrow yet. Justin wants us to start working even longer hours. To make our paycheck bigger of course. So that we can #1 catch up on rent, and #2save money. We have a goal, $3-6,000 so that on the off chance that his Xbox buddy comes through with the job offer, we can take it and move! We'll see. I was going to type more, but I think I'll wait. I want to go to bed soon, and maybe have some more sweet dreams....like the one I had the other night about taking a trup to France!!! I was so excited! I was going to get to wander around Paris and see the Eiffel Tower! I wasn't one bit concerned about not knowing the language! I'm still am...

In my last post I made a comment about how big girls don't cry is a lie. I got in 'trouble' at the last church I attended because of how much I wept. I was labeled "emotional". I was, and I am...and to this day I don't understand why this is a bad thing. I can think and reason with the best of them. I'm intelligent and witty and curious. The fact that I allow myself to express my emotions in a place that I thought was 'safe' because the presence of God was there...is apparently erroneous. No one ever asked why I was crying. They all assumed that every time was the same, that I was depressed. I cried for a variety of reasons. I was sad. I was glad. I was overwhelmed by His love. But like I said, no one ever asked. Let's see. Jesus wept...It wasn't even His grief He was weeping about, it was compassion for Mary and Martha and their grief. The psalmists lamented...mixed right in with their praise and worship. No one ever considered that I migh...

Sometimes I wonder why Yahoo allows comments on their stories. I'm all for the 1st Amendment, Freedom of Speech, Press, Religion, and Expression. I think it's great. But reading comment on Yahoo stories makes me think that there are some people out there who just shouldn't be expressing themselves online. It makes America looks ignorant. Not stupid. Ignorant. There's a difference. Stupid can be fixed...a little teaching, a little guidance, a little enlightenment...voila! Ignorant doesn't want to be fixed. They're happy with their sick dumb-ass opinions. It amazes me how quick grown adults are to trash someone else, even if it's an innocent child. I remember one story a while back about a little girl who was being teased about liking Star Wars by the boys at school. Apparently these boys either liked her or had never been told that sci-fi is for girls too. It upset the girl to the point of tears when her mom asked why she wanted to change her Star Wars lunch...

I am barely out of bed this Saturday morning. Maybe, no not even an hour. I haven't made my coffee, or had breakfast, but I did take my medicine. Speaking of coffee...I paused long enough to start it brewing. It'll be eggs for breakfast, since I didn't pick up any oatmeal yesterday. Not likely I'll get any this pay period...maybe next week. Sigh. Should I...? Why not? I'm thinking of doing a Weekend Question, just like my blogger buddy Jean-Luc ...though I doubt mine will ever be as good as his. His this weekend is about books you don't finish. Since I don't recall any since high school, I'm not doing that one! Besides, that would be rude! So, I'm going to borrow Family Life Network's topic from earlier this week. Pet peeves! As I was listening to Sonny talk about pet peeves, his and the callers, I was stumped. I know that I have them, I just drew a blank that afternoon. One of mine, is when I'm driving along and the vehicles ahead of me...

Finally!! The weekend is here! I am so tired! And I didn't even work 40 hours this week...let;s see...6 on Monday, 7 on Tuesday, 4.5 on Wednesday, 7 on Thursday, 5.5 today{Friday}=30 hours. I left early on Monday for an 'interview' at Dupont, was late on Wednesday, left early today to take Mom to the Packer so she could be "pre-admitted" for her procedure in February. Still, 30 hours in that wretched cold place certainly feels like 40. And then some. Not to mention its COLD on the outside too! The bank temp said 11degrees F on my way home from Mom's. I have new bruises this week from the awkwardness of my work station. Which no one cares about. The Blue Hat, my immediate suprvisor, gave me another product to pull off...so if I have everything, I have the potential to have 8 different products to pull of the line. When I commented about how overwhelmed I was feeling, the answer I got, other than to come to work everyday, was, "If I can do it, I ...

Hoarding is usually bad. Stacks of newspapers piled high...too many salt and pepper shaker...a small path to the bathroom...but there is one thing that is worth hoarding for a while... Store receipts!!!!!! Case in point. We bought Justin's mother a giftcard for Christmas. Not just any gift card, but an X-Box Live Microsoft points card. 4000 points = $50. It doesn't work. The store won't do anything for us because we don't have the receipt, so we have to deal with Microsoft. Of the two, Microsoft has been a lot nicer to deal with. Argh!!!!

Seriously...President Obama and The Senate and Congress and all who make our laws...instead of making health insurance mandatory, how about making it #1- more affordable for all and #2 WORTH HAVING!! I now have a $2000+ emergency room bill because my unnamed health insurance deemed it 'non-life threatening' and won't pay any of it! Uhm, I almost passed out in my shower, my own doctor's office told me to go to the ER and I had no idea it was a simple reaction to the blood pressure medicine that I didn't need until I got there, and that's what the doctor decided was wrong. Oh, that and I'm diabetic---which, if any of those morons had actually been listening when I was giving my history they would have already known and they wouldn't have had to "diagnose" me as a diabetic. Uhm, my problem that day wasn't my sugar...it was the unneeded medicine...which we didn't know it was unneeded until I almost passed out. Almost passing out in the sho...

I thought about calling this through the Looking Glass, but I figure that's copywrited. I've spent the weekend trying to network and gather something of a following. I used to have one, I kind of miss it. Not so much as an ego thing, as feeling like I belong to a kind of inline family. Not like Facebook where I know 90% of my friends, maybe 95%. But strangers pulled together. I came to the conclusion today that blogging is like peeping through windows. Kinf of like a peeping tom, but with permission. Everytime we hit the "Publish Post" button, we give permission to total strangers to look into our lives, our thoughts, our feelings, our dreams, our hopes, our nightmares... It takes bravery I think. Especialy if you are brave enough not to censor yourself and write with total honesty. The scariest part of that, for me at least, it when I go back in time and look at some old posts and say, "What the heck? Was that really me that wrote that? I'm so not that perso...

Matthew 25: 14-30 (New King James Version) "For the kingdom of heaven is like a man traveling to a far country, who called his own servants and delivered his goods to them. And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey. Then he who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and made another five talents. And likewise he who had received two gained two more also. But he who had received one went and dug in the ground, and hid his lord's money. After a long time the lord of those servants came and settled accounts with them. So he who had received five talents came and brought five other talents, saying, 'Lord, you delivered to me five talents; look, I have gained five more talents besides them.' His lord said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of you...

Purpose. I've often wondered what my purpose in life is. Just the other day Justin and I were talking about his life, about how I would be devestated if he were to die. He is a daredevil, especially in a vehicle, and has probably cheated death more than I would care to listen to. He's almost given me a heart attack or two! In his defence, he is a young man with a need for speed. I just hope the cops catch him before the Grim Reaper does! Don't tell him I said that. He has often said, especially early in our relationship, that he would be surprised if he lived to see 25. Well, he turns 24 in March, so we're almost there. I was taken back a little by something he said. I had asked him a question, about wanting to live. And he replied, "What's the point?" This disturbed me more than a little, mostly because I didn't know how to explain my feelings on the matter so that he would understand. Verbally I'm not always very eloquent with my words...

"Unspoken Truth" is the latest Star Trek book I've read. It was one of the ones I got with my big book order from Amazon.com and it was one of the few that I had never read before. I'll be honest, over half the books I'd ordered I had previously read and then stupidly got rid of them for reasons I won't go into here. Anyway, I'm sad to say this, but I didn't really like the book that much. It picks up immediately after Star Trek 3 and deals with Saavik. The regular Trek characters, not counting Spock's parents, have cames...and some aren't seen at all. That's just a statement of the truth, I'm not saying it was a bad thing, but it wasn't exactly a good thing. For me, the plot was too slow moving and too bulky. There were a lot of not quite flashbacks that made it hard to follow. Not to mention that the author tended to write really long sentences. I'm talking...looooong. An entire paragraph that took up half the page wa...

Well, I guess. It's been over a week since my last post. Time to blog about something new. Only thing is, I'm not sure what to write! Not on this my diary blog that is. I've got everything else knocking around in there. Trying to get Zion's Children wrapped up so I cant get start on my next story, "First Best Destiny?" which will also be in my Conglomerate universe but with completely different characters. Well that's what I'm thinking at the moment. I might change that, but I doubt it. It wasn't going to be originally but I was freewriting some of it yesterday while I was waiting for Justin to get done with work and it just flowed into the story and I'm like, "Really?" I thought about it and decided to keep it that way. I've also got some poetry rattling around in there but I haven't gotten it finished yet. We called off work again today. I don't know why. Well, I don't know why he called off. I called off beca...

Happy New Year everyone!!! I have a good feeling about this year! Let's hope I can say that a year from now! Had a good night at mom's last night. Made two awesome kick ass pizza's from scratch. One was a pepperoni and the other was sausage bacon. The only thing I forgot to do was put the onions and peppers on the second pizza. Oh well, there's always next time! We had soda and sparkling grape juice to drink. We never did open the chips so we'll have them later this weekend. I've taken two pregnancy tests, not on the same day, and they've both come up negative. But I still don't have my period. I've never ever had it this late before. I'm trying to relax and not worry about it, honest. I'll wait until next Wednesday and try another test. It either reset itself when I had that wierd mid-cycle bleed, I'm pregnant and the hormone's just not high enough yet, or I've hit menopause! I'm way too young for that last one!...