Ok. I need to think out loud here for a bit while I wait on email. I have a situation going on that could become tough.
A bit of background:
About 2 years ago, a single man started coming to my church and showed an interest in me. It lasted about a month and a half, with him giving me mixed signals all the time...since I have been praying for a husband for a while now, at the time, it seemed like my prayers were being answered despite the confusion. It all came down one night about midnight in his parking lot and I haven't talked to him since. He only stayed around for another 7-8 months, and those were very hard months. He lied to me and mislead me, often. Like it was second nature for him. It was made even more traumatic by a discovery of mine on a website shortly after he left the area.
In September 2005, I had a blind date that was far from fruitful.
My singleness and desire to be married is known to all in church, and so...
To the present:
Yes, another single man has walked into my church and is interested in me. He hasn't said anything, but he looks at me an awful lot, and a friend has confirmed that he does in fact like me and thinks that it is even the reason why he moved here. Thing is...I like someone else. A lot. And I think he likes me back. [of course, not even my bestest friend knows that] But the thing is...I fear that at least one person is expecting me to fall for this new guy just because he is single and nice and interested in me...and I also fear that she is going to try and set us up. Ok, like I'm afraid she's going to try to manipulate me into a relationship. She asked me to sit with her this past Sunday...no big deal I thought...until talking with my bestest friend yesterday and she tells me that this first woman is up to something...but she won't tell me what [which may be a good thing]. See, this guy that moved here sits with this woman as she's sort of like a mentor to him [which is really kind of freaky]. And so, maybe I'm way off base in my suspicions, hoping I am. But I can't think of any other reason. I doubt it's just because I generally sit alone. Bestest friend said it wasn't that. this other woman is also trying to like maniuplate the old prayer team and so it could be that too. But bestest friend said that whatever the reason is, it's pretty twisted. Great. Last thing I need.
Please tell me someone has some word of encouragement or advice. I mean, with all that has went on in the past few months at church, this makes me want to fly the coop even more. I'm staying right now basically because I'm stubborn.
-----
Also I had a thought---if any of you have ever tried to email me and never gotten a response, it might be that I've never gotten the email [if it's not in my address book, stuff has a tendancy to go into my Bulk mail which I seldom remember to check before I dump.] So, leave a note here first before you email so I can be on the lookout.
And if you ever get bored on the weekends...I've started a new site. It's in the links to the left as My Fiction Site Check it out. Also new: Heart of a Poet
A bit of background:
About 2 years ago, a single man started coming to my church and showed an interest in me. It lasted about a month and a half, with him giving me mixed signals all the time...since I have been praying for a husband for a while now, at the time, it seemed like my prayers were being answered despite the confusion. It all came down one night about midnight in his parking lot and I haven't talked to him since. He only stayed around for another 7-8 months, and those were very hard months. He lied to me and mislead me, often. Like it was second nature for him. It was made even more traumatic by a discovery of mine on a website shortly after he left the area.
In September 2005, I had a blind date that was far from fruitful.
My singleness and desire to be married is known to all in church, and so...
To the present:
Yes, another single man has walked into my church and is interested in me. He hasn't said anything, but he looks at me an awful lot, and a friend has confirmed that he does in fact like me and thinks that it is even the reason why he moved here. Thing is...I like someone else. A lot. And I think he likes me back. [of course, not even my bestest friend knows that] But the thing is...I fear that at least one person is expecting me to fall for this new guy just because he is single and nice and interested in me...and I also fear that she is going to try and set us up. Ok, like I'm afraid she's going to try to manipulate me into a relationship. She asked me to sit with her this past Sunday...no big deal I thought...until talking with my bestest friend yesterday and she tells me that this first woman is up to something...but she won't tell me what [which may be a good thing]. See, this guy that moved here sits with this woman as she's sort of like a mentor to him [which is really kind of freaky]. And so, maybe I'm way off base in my suspicions, hoping I am. But I can't think of any other reason. I doubt it's just because I generally sit alone. Bestest friend said it wasn't that. this other woman is also trying to like maniuplate the old prayer team and so it could be that too. But bestest friend said that whatever the reason is, it's pretty twisted. Great. Last thing I need.
Please tell me someone has some word of encouragement or advice. I mean, with all that has went on in the past few months at church, this makes me want to fly the coop even more. I'm staying right now basically because I'm stubborn.
-----
Also I had a thought---if any of you have ever tried to email me and never gotten a response, it might be that I've never gotten the email [if it's not in my address book, stuff has a tendancy to go into my Bulk mail which I seldom remember to check before I dump.] So, leave a note here first before you email so I can be on the lookout.
And if you ever get bored on the weekends...I've started a new site. It's in the links to the left as My Fiction Site Check it out. Also new: Heart of a Poet
Comments
Stalebread---I've become a little bit more wiser since that experience.
Is the woman manipulating events so that she can get her pupil in a favourable position? You will soon know.
Listen to your head and your heart.
I'm thinking of renaming the blog---give it a soap opera title maybe....HA!
lol LOVE the comment scatter. Let's make a new game! Who can get the most comments...or something. We haven't played in a while. I AM BORED.
sigh.
Daydreamer: I can't believe how many comments there have been...of course, at least half of them are between me and Fluke wondering what in the world was going on with Blogger. It would be a neat game. Boredom is dangerous, isn't that what you told me the other day? {I too am good at ignoring that instict/voice, etc}
Cliff: prayer, yes. And Chocolate is definately #1. No arguing with me allowed here...this is my blog! :P
thanks Shelley and Oreo. :)
I think I said too much here yesterday. Well, if he didn't already know, he does now. Not sure what will happen now. Either way, it won't change my feelings about the new guy at church. A lot of what is going on at church is BS right now....there's a lot of jockeying for position and backbiting and crap like that. I suppose I could go up to Faith Mountian, but I think the worship style is about the same. I suppose that shouldn't matter, though. And at any rate...I am most defiantely 'fighting' for the right to make my own decisions about my life. Too complicated to explain right now. Thanks everyone.
BackSliding, Backbiting, Brother[sister]Smearing and Squashing and Shunning BullShit
was that enough "BS"ing for you?!?! lol