Window Into My Reality

Well. Tonight is my last night to work for a couple days - and it's about time since I've been working for like, 8 days straight. I should have the next three days off ---- so that I can move. Clean the room where I am suppose to live. Clean everything, or most of the stuff outa my apartment. Downsizing majorly. Sigh. There's also a new Trek post on My Fiction. See y'all in a couple of days.

You Are Cyclops Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes Which of the X-Men Are You? Funny thing is...when it asked who I thought was the sexiest X-Men...my answer was Wolverine!!!! LOL! And I'm a woman....does the force beam from the eyes mean "the look" women are famous for??? LOL!!!!

I like blogging because it opens the world up to me....it gives me friends outside of my 'niche'....I meet new people who challenge me and encourage me and bring new ways to look at things. Case in point: Mimi's comment a few posts down. She SO encouraged me :D Just when I feel forgotten...I am reminded I'm not...

Or at least Mars! You Should Rule Mars Mars is a planet that shines brightly and loops wildly around the solar system. You are perfect to rule Mars, because you are both energetic and independent. Like Mars, you seems attractive and bright to others - but you're difficult to pin down. You are a great thinker, but you only think in the present and ignore the future. Full of enthusiasm and inspiration, you are into your own thing... and rather insensitive to others. What Planet Should You Rule? If Men are from Mars...does this mean I should be their ruler????? Hmmmm...in that case...."Off with Steven's Head!" LOL Although I don't think I'm insentsitive to others needs and such :P

Exile...homecoming...??? Feels more like exile to me. Unless $1150 and some odd cents doesn't miraculously appear by March 2nd...I will have to move back in with my Mom. $585 is for rent, $565 is for my car. I only have $400---and that won't cover both let alone one! I don't know what else to do. I don't like it, but can see no other alternative. Where is my miracle??? Probably in the same place as my imaginary husband! Non-existant???? Lord?!?!?!

But hopefully it won't be much longer before I have it back. Hopefully! All that was left on Tuesday was the replacement headlight housing unit, which hadn't come in yet. Wonder if it made it through the foot of snow we got?! It's two toned now...the hood and fender are a deeper shade of blue now! It's even had an oil change! It probably is wishing I had hit the deer sooner! Tired of being stranded at Mom's. Though I know she loves me and loves the company. She doesn't have to work until next Wednesday, so she's letting me take the van home this weekend---so I get to run around my apartment naked! and sleep in my own bed!!! Wonder if I'll get to keep it until Wednesday? I'm off for now. ps - I'm on a roll with my Trek story cuz I put up another. This one will have to hold you a little longer Jean-Luc :)

But just a bit... You Are 56% Abnormal You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer. How Abnormal Are You?

I fixed the link in the post below---it was supposed to take you to My Fiction site...it should now. If not, use the link to the side. How about all this snow NE PA just got?!?!?!?!? EEEEWWWWW!!!!!

I was going to vent about work...about the one girl there who has major attitude...like, she was calling all of us who had worked for her Saturday night dumbasses and idiots. But then I read this, and was so totally like - it doesn't matter: You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to the game you want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know. So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store. The Little League baseball game across the street has come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the clouds. And what they see, and what you see, has never before been seen. As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes...

I did something today that I would never have been able to do in town, so there are some benefits to country living...I walked the dogs in my pajama's! And as I was standing in the middle of the dirt road...arms stretched wide so one dog could be on one side of the road while the other dog was on the opposite side...in my purple pajama bottoms...with my coat barely covering my aqua colored nightgown and my beige sweater....nothing matching colorwise...and my knitted stocking cap over my uncombed hair.....I had the thought-----"oh my gosh, I look like a fruitcake!" At least there was no one to see this humilating moment!!! I just tell the world about it here!!! I just want to go home!!!!! But I can't until my car is fixed and paid for --- $565.64

There will be no picture with this post!!! LOL!! Another reason why I like having my own place is that I can run around my apartment naked as the day I was born if I want to!! This comment comes from a conversation with my brother Liston....I was complaining becuase he was sitting on Mom's couch in this clothes he worn for work...which happens to be a farm job... so needless to say, there was some manure on his jeans....and he smelled like a bran. I was objecting because there is only one spot to sit on the couch and he was in it....the same spot I had sat in the night before. So he protests right back saying, "Like you never sit down in your work clothes! What do you do, come home from work and run around naked?" Who told on me!?!? LOL!!!

I want my life back. I want my car fixed so I can come and go as I please...and sleep in my bed. I'd like to be able to keep my apartment. It's not much, as can be seen in this photo of one of the corners of my little home. But it's mine. I'd also like my back to stop hurting! I've been taking my mother's darvocets to keep the pain away...which makes me a little high....but I can still work...which is the entire idea.

Guys are little wierd. ok, a lot wierd. So I'm talking to a new guy on IM...I don't have a problem talking with stranger online....I don't tell them any identifying info...playing it safe....and anyway, this guy is like talking a lot about sex....and I ask him if that is his only interest....he says "no, but I have needs." [where have I heard THAT before]. So I've been thinking ---- what about my needs? Not talking just sexual needs. I'm talking emotional. What about my need to feel secure in a relationship? What about my need to know that I am valued for more than my body? For that matter, what about my need to know that you value my body...that you think I'm beautiful, and not just pretty? What about my need to feel safe? Protected? Adored? --- cuz I'm pretty darn adorable ya know. Whatever climaxing during sex does for me----will not last if these other needs aren't met outside of the bedroom. In fact, if these other needs aren't...