Skip to main content

Needs


Guys are little wierd. ok, a lot wierd.

So I'm talking to a new guy on IM...I don't have a problem talking with stranger online....I don't tell them any identifying info...playing it safe....and anyway, this guy is like talking a lot about sex....and I ask him if that is his only interest....he says "no, but I have needs." [where have I heard THAT before].

So I've been thinking ---- what about my needs? Not talking just sexual needs. I'm talking emotional. What about my need to feel secure in a relationship? What about my need to know that I am valued for more than my body? For that matter, what about my need to know that you value my body...that you think I'm beautiful, and not just pretty? What about my need to feel safe? Protected? Adored? --- cuz I'm pretty darn adorable ya know. Whatever climaxing during sex does for me----will not last if these other needs aren't met outside of the bedroom. In fact, if these other needs aren't met...they diminish the sexual needs...it's a distaster...because if all I'm getting is an orgasm...without anything emotional...all my insecurities raise their ugly head and I'm not even a nice person.

Think about that, guys...the next time you're getting your "needs" met...that the woman your with has other needs that must be met for her to want to keep hopping in the sack with you. So if you're not going to meet those other needs...get out of her bed. Well, at least mine.

Comments

Jean-Luc Picard said…
You had a weird one on IM there, Ciera. He openly tells you that he has 'needs'. We all have needs that stretch far outside the bedroom. You wrote it well.
Ciera said…
not if you consider that I was very bold and outright asked him if sex was all he was after. Easy to be bold on the computer! And you can't be too careful.
Jean-Luc Picard said…
A good strategy, rather than letting him meander around, trying not to tell you what he really wants.

Popular posts from this blog

Weekenders!!!

It's that time again. For Michele's weekend Meet-n-Greet. Some frown, but others gleefully play. Here's a question for all who visit here, whether on your own or from Michele's: Last night during a prayer meeting, I had a memory flash through my mind. More like the shadow of the memory. I was five years old or younger and I was begging my father for a peanut butter cake. I really wanted one, and even though I was interupting the adult conversation and probably being a regular brat...my Dad quit what he was doing to search for a recipe for a peanut butter cake...uhm, I don't think he ever found one so he made me a chocolate one with peanut butter frosting. This is probably the best memory I have of my father. So - what is your favorite childhood memory?????

A Situation

Ok. I need to think out loud here for a bit while I wait on email. I have a situation going on that could become tough. A bit of background: About 2 years ago, a single man started coming to my church and showed an interest in me. It lasted about a month and a half, with him giving me mixed signals all the time...since I have been praying for a husband for a while now, at the time, it seemed like my prayers were being answered despite the confusion. It all came down one night about midnight in his parking lot and I haven't talked to him since. He only stayed around for another 7-8 months, and those were very hard months. He lied to me and mislead me, often. Like it was second nature for him. It was made even more traumatic by a discovery of mine on a website shortly after he left the area. In September 2005, I had a blind date that was far from fruitful. My singleness and desire to be married is known to all in church, and so... To the present: Yes, another single man has walked in...

Shock and Awe

It is a strange thing. How someone can say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me" and still manage to correct you all at once...it is truly amazing to me. I was shocked that this person actually admitted to being wrong, and at the same time, I was ashamed for wanting it. But it got me to thinking. About Repentance and Forgiveness...how once they have happened...there is healing and restoration. I haven't completely researched it yet, but the verses I've peaked at in James make me think I'm not far off. I wonder, just as one person sinning can spoil others...can one person repenting turn others to repentance? Hmm.... Of course, as in any relationship situation...it helps to know the whole story. Why do we do that, I wonder? Close up and not share what is going on, I mean. I know that sometimes, there are things that hurt too deep to share right away. It is frustrating. Thanksgiving looks to be a dismal day so far. I'm not about ready to invite myself to any...