Window Into My Reality

So, we called in to work today...again! This makes about 12 1/2 points for Justin and 11 for me. When we hit 15 we're terminated. I'm a little worried about Justin. I have another job all lined up, though I won't give notice until I'm sure I'm signed on. I don't know why Justin is calling off though...I call if he does, because I don't trust him alone with the puppy Jacalyn...he has a tendancy to not be in control of himself when he gets mad or frustrated...and the last time I left them alone, for an hour and a half, they somehow managed to get doggy poo on our ceiling!!! He still won't tell me how that happened, though I know it had something to do with walking her on the treadmill. Which she doesn't like. !!!! An hour and a half! What would I come home to if I left them alone all day??? I'm going to go work for Caregivers of America. It'll be home health kind of stuff. A little over a dollar pay drop, but it won't be refrigerator temps...

Well, I was in another waiting room today. This time for myself. Routine blood work to check sugar levels and such. I had to wait because the nice lady had to call the other office for the paperwork and orders. While I was waiting I read part of an article on the presidential office, I wish I had more time to have read it all because it was an interesting read. Sadly I don't even remember the name of the magazine. Anyway, it was about how much more the president has to deal with on a daily basis compared to earlier presidents. It has grown a lot in recent years. Just a few short years ago, we didn't even have a Homeland Security department to our government! It is a sign of our times, I think. Although I do wonder what has happened to the check and balance system our government was designed to have. We are so much busier than we used to be, and seldom achieve much of anything. I wish I was smart enough to design a solution for the president, and the one after that. Either the A...

So, I'm sitting here in a waiting room of the hospital while my Mom has a prodecure done. Been here since 10am, but they haven't told me they've started yet, so she's probably not even sedated yet! Hopefully this doctor will see something the others haven't and figure out how to help her. These UTI's are getting so old, and it's effected her quality of life. Not much else going on. I'm enjoying the books I just bought from Amazon.com I've read one Trek book, and will soon start another. I'm not sure what to make of the Heroes book...it was not what I was expecting. It's rather boring actually, like the Spider-man book. Too much talking or thinking, not enough action. Which I thought was odd for Spider-man. No where close to being ready for Christmas...no decorations up yet, although I only have one more gift to purchase. That is amazing in and of itself. Hope everyone's having a good day.

How do you explain to someone who doesn't write where the ideas come from? I really don't know. They just pop into my head I guess. Especially poems. A line will start circulating in my head, "behind dead eyes" for example...and when I start to concentrate on it, hopefully on paper so I don't forget it and lose it...the rest just flows. There are some days I struggle for that next line, sometimes months and years. But where I am at right now, not so much. I'll admit, sometimes my short stories come from dreams I've had. My entire novel was based on a dream I had where I was having an affair with a store owner and was kidnapped. LOL! Obviously once I started thinking about it and fictionalizing it, it became something else entirely. My two Star Trek fan fics were based on dreams I had...one where the praise and worship band from my old church was playing on the Enterprise (hilarious) and another where Deanna Troi was key in bringing down the Borg ...

Well, I'm going away for the weekend. Justin is stayin home. He has to work Saturday, which is good because he called off Monday and Tuesday...I had a good reason to, I was sick. He just wanted to...??? Who knows? My Aunt Norma is in a movie that her church made and I decided I wanted to see it. Mom should be here shortly to pick me up. It's just an overnighter, 3 hours away, but packing can be such a pain. I don't like anything I have picked out to wear for church tomorrow. I know no one cares what I look like, it's a matter of me liking how I look and being comfortable. Ah well, at least I'm feeling better physically. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I can't belive that I'm sick again. I just had a cold a couple of weeks ago. Now I've got another one and this one includes my chest. If I'm going to get sick every time that it's 'that time' of the month, I might have to find a new job! Sad to say that's the biggest news in my life this weekend.

I should have known better. Really, I should have. I wrote a poem today, it's scheduled to be posted on my poetry site on the 15th. It was written inspired by a one-word prophetic word given to me by someone who was a friend at the time, and the memory that one-word word sparked. Good old Paigey. Our friendship did not end on good terms, though if she were honest, it was much needed and past due. We are both much healthier without each other. I was as much it the wrong when it came to the end...I was being a bitch...and so was she. She'll never admit it, she never could adit when she was wrong...unless you were someone important...but that is neither here nor there. I'm guessing that she's still as pissed at me as I am at here. I'll admit it. I can't think of her without still being angry. I know I should just let it go and forgive, so I don't become more bitter than I already am. Anyway, I sent this poem to her because I thought she'd appreciate knowng ...

Here's the full rainbow I managed to get two decent pics of on my cellphone on the way home from work today...I missed the middle though...couldn't get a good angle and it was Justin driving anyways! lol! Poem that I just wrote inspired by this beauty of a rainbow!

...but no one can tell! I had this wierd dream recently, that I can seem to shake. I was driving by my old church, and cars lined the sides of the street. I knew it was the night of one of their big services, so even though there weren't any lights on, I decided to stop in anyway. I went inside the lights were all on! Nothing was shining out of the windows. Out of the crowd there, only one person spoke to me...good old Kenny...he'd show the Love of God to his worst enemy, he's just that kind of guy. The thing I can't shake, is that the lights were all on, but no one outside the church could tell. The bible talks about not hiding your light, like putting a bucket over a candle. Basically you shouldn't do it. How else can people see it?!?! Too many Christians have hidden their light...some by their deeds, others by their holier than thou attitude, others by fear (political correctness). I can't say that this is a message toward any one church or person. ...

It feels great to be writing again. I've written a few new poems recently, and posted them on my poetry website - or are scheduled to be posted, and I've even found some older poems that will be going up as well. BUT - I've also been looking at my short story Zion's Children again and just put up a new post . I got so wrapped up in reading the story and getting reaquainted with Miri and Byrin that I let my cup of coffee get quite cold! Of course, I'm not sure when the next post will be going up after this, but it feels so good anyway. Justin had to work this morning. Just a 6 hour shift...not even since he was home at noon, but he's gone again. Off to his parents to finish taking our red dodge off the road. Cleaning it out an such. And I think he was getting something else off his mom, a vacuum packer or something. idk. It's the first he'd mentioned it, I decided not to go, even though I've been bitching about how little quality time he spends with m...

And now it's Friday! Woot!!! Ok, if I have to work Saturday...that "woot!" will be changed to a groan, but I won't find that out till later today. Still, it's Friday! All day long!

And that about sums it up! Yeah, a real exctiting post huh? That's because I live such an exciting life! NOT! Up by 4am, in bed by 8pm. Blah!!

So far, my new job is just that...a job. It is tiring, makes my bad knee cranky, and is cold. Of course, meat needs to be kept at a certain temp so it won't spoil. But it's not easy to work in it. I've bee there 2 weeks, and I've gotten a cold from it. Hopefully I'll get over it quickly and adjust. As long as I'm pulling that packages meat off the line, I'm warm enough. Since I'm new at it, I am actually working up a small sweat. Overall, I'm enjoying most of it. Sort of. I'm a "maroon hat"...meaning I'm a new hire just learning the job. Justin's dad, who also works at Cargill, has been talking with my line leader, a "blue hat" who's like an assistant supervisor...and he says taht she says I'm pushing myself too hard. ROFLMAO!!! Uhm...where has she been when the "white hat" (regular employee) has been rushing me!?!?!?! Sheesh. But since I can't do things half way, I am pushing myself ...

Well, my days of loafing are over. Starting Monday morning anyway. I had my tour of the plant today, and I must say that I don't ever want to see a cow "knocked" ever again. One minute they're alive, being led in, BAM then they're dead. Must be the girl in me. I can handle every other part of the process, I just don't want to see that again. Well, so long as I'm not the one that has to degut them...that didn't look pleasant either. Though I bet there's more money in that position. Anyway, I'll be in the processing part somewhere. "Product pull off" I hope that means I'm pulling the meat off the line after someone else has already pulled it off the cow. Not that I couldn't use a knife if I had to, I just prefer not to. I'm far too clumsy to trust myself even using safe methods. Orientation is 7am sharp Monday morning, and continued Tuesday. I'll actually start learning the job on Wednesday. I haven't qui...

Not much been going on. Been loafing around while I wait for Taylor/Cargill to call. I was supposed to start next Monday, but I haven't heard anything yet. Trying not to worry, but my last paycheck from the Daily is this Friday...after that, nada! I've been watching a lot of Stargate SG1 on Netflix. Loving that! The feel of it changed in season 9 when Ben Browder took over for Richard Dean Anderson. I kind of like it a little better. But then I liked Farscape a lot, so I'm not surprised. I'm still warming up to Vala, her's is a harder character to read. She's cute though, that 'innocent - who me?' smile makes me laugh every time! I find the religion of Origin interesting. I can't help but wonder if it's meant to mock Christianity. I'm never quite sure. Perhaps it is the Catholic church? Idk. A lot of religions today focus on the deeds...live the right way etc...and ignore the saving grace of Jesus' blood. Track Change. The ...

Well. So much for loyalty! I worked for the paper for 4 years, and when I give notice that I'm quitting to start another job, instead of letting me work the two weeks out, the bastards up and fire me. Albiet with pay. Which is only right of them. I've been "free" for a week and a half so far, and won't start my new job until October. Talk about being at loose ends! Lol! Maybe I'll get out to the library more! Speaking of which...I'm gonna run and check the books out now! I'll be back! {If anyone comes here anymore.....well, even if not.....}

9 years later, and this day is still a day to be remembered. But it's the "how" that is the important part of remembrance. 9-11-01 should be remembered not only as a day of sorrow but as a day of victory. Victory because the attacks did not keep this nation down, we did not crawl up into a ball of fear. Instead we kept on living...almost in defiance of the terrorists who sought to hurt us that day. Some like the pastor who wanted to burn the Islam holy book on this day...not only makes Christians look bad, but also Americans...and to be honest, it gives more power to the dead terrorists than they should have. Whether we agree with another's religion is beside the point. It is how we treat those we disagree with that either gives credence to our own beliefs, or reveals us as liars. Besides, books should never be burned. But that's another post. Remember the Heroes of this day, the fallen, the survivors, those who still grieve for lost ones...never forget. And do no...

We all have them. Points in our life when we can keep going straight, or turn either left or right and start on a new path. My sister is at such a point. She has the opportunity to go back to college this fall, and the question she has to decide is whether to pursue a nursing career or a teaching career. Although I might be a smart aleck and ask her why not a Teaching Nurse? Someone has to train the nurses, right? My friend Tempy is at such a point. She recently quit her full time job here. She's a single mom and even though she's living with her boyfriend now, they work different shifts so the entire 'making sure the kids are taken care of' was still an issue. She had moved farther away from our work place, and so had farther to drive...therefore more opportunity to fall asleep while driving herself home. So she's trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life. Start her own small business...go back to school...what exactly? I'm right there ...

It's my birthday! Spending it with my mother since Justin bailed on me this weekend. I guess it's only fair...she was there for the first one! LOL!

I can't believe I'm on a real computer. Justin's is still at the computer doctors, but today I'm at the hospital with Mom and they have a computer we can go on while we wait. Well, I'm the one waiting. She gets to go have a procedure done. Still trying to get rid of her bladder infection so she can have her knees done! Poor lady. Not much has been going on, or so I think. Probably if I had a computer in my home I'd be telling you all sorts of boring drama stuff from work and relationship venting. I wish I could get up earlier in the day so I could go to the library like I used to. That's how this all got started. I'm out of new books to read, and I don't know when I'll be able to buy my Amazon.com cartload, so I need to go to the library for other reasons. Of course, 75% of what I've got on order for 'someday' is stuff I've already read, already owned and lost. Ah well. I know there was at least one new book I was goin...

I had a Pampered Chef Party at my home Sunday. Only ten of the thirty some people I invited showed up. Not that any of them even bothered to RSVP. I wonder how many letters a month Dear Abby gets on that subject. Regardless of whether you're coming or not you should call the host and them her know your answer! Anyway. I did pretty well though. Got enough orders that I was able to get $90 worth of free products! Yay! I also got to order 2 items at half price. And got just enough orders to get a free apron as well! Very cool. The entire reason to do Party is the free stuff and the fun time. And good food. The funniest part was the party was crashed by the census taker...but that was ok because she ended up given me an order! I wish I could find a new job. I am getting so tired of the crap here. If it was just me and my perception, that would be on thing. But it's everybody. We all think the same thing about the same boss. But the higher ups won't even listen ...

Life changes ... whether I want it to or not! The biggest change I've had to make in my life recently was my diet. Not because I want to lose weight, although that's been a nice side effect. But because I had no choice. Not really. On March 12, I was diagnosed with diabetes. Not the end of the world by any means, though it was still a shock to find this out. I really shouldn't have been surprised, both my parents were diabetic. But it still requires change because I don't want the complications I've seen my parents have. So, I'm taking a natural OPC-3 suppliment - which I lovingly refer to as "Threepio" because all it is - is C3PO's name in a different order! I spent one whole week on a De-tox diet...which let me tell you is no fun at all! Vegetables and fruit...and that was it!!! But I've upgraded and can eat more things now. Chicken, Tuna, fish - I can have every day...Beef, pork twice a week...shrimp, oysters etc...twice a month! ...

Still alive and kicking, I promise. Been busy working hard for too little money and respect, aren't we all? lol! Justin just gave his 2 weeks notice at the paper, he's switching jobs. I'm trying to do the same. If I can, I'd love to get into the Practical Nursing Program at a nearby school. Ok, I've got to get back to work now.

A few weeks ago, Justin and I were given free tickets to a hockey game. It was very cool and fun, the first for either one of us. Here are some thoughts I 've had since then. The last church that I went to, the praise and worship leader was a good one for encouraging the congregation to get hyped up during worship by saying loosely - How many times do we hoot and holler and get excited for or favorite team, but we can't even raise our hands in worship? I've been guilty of saying the same thing. And I think it's time we rethink this idea. It is very easy to go to a sporting event and get swept up in the excitement of the game. The rest of the people know all the rules and what is going on, and that kind of true excitement is contagious. The same could be true of worship. This could be good or bad, depending. The hockey game that I went to was enjoyable. I had never been to a live sporting event before, so that right there was exciting. Neither Justin or I are very knowle...