Window Into My Reality

This is the suit I will be wearing Tuesday morning for my latest interview...this one for the reporter trainee postition...!!!!!! Is that exciting or what?!?! This particular picture was taken Easter Sunday, in the "big hole" of the stream that runs near my Mom's house. It's not too bad of a picture. The camera should have been closer to me, or me to it, but it's still a good pic. Live and learn, in photography as in all other aspects of life. All who pray, please keep me and my interview in mind. I'm a good bit nervous, as my self-confidence is still shot from some of the recent things that have occured at church...all my friends seem to think I'll get the job though. I'll be tired that morning as I will have worked the night before in the mailroom...although, it could also be called the "male"room as mostly guys work there. It's been...interesting...!!! One thing I don't like about working nights is that I miss picnics and parties..

I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time. Herbert Bayard Swope (1882 - 1958) I forget exactly where I found this quote. I think it was something Snedeker had put up with the the weather forecast on the WNEP website...he does stuff like that. You get very tired trying to please everybody all the time. Your head begins hurting, and Tylenol won't help it go away. You start losing sleep. You're appetite changes. And everything starts falling apart. Your friends stop wanting you to hang around, then deny ever saying such. Your pastors won't talk to you. You vent on your blog and pray that no one from church has the website because you worry that it would be taken to pastors...even though you're not saying anything wrong, you're just venting, but you know that if the right people got a hold of it, that they would turn it into something else and twist it. I give up trying to do this

Mimi says she "sort of' tagged me with the "I" Tag. So, here we go...boldy going where no man has gone before...oh wait, wrong series....never mind... I AM: a daughter, a sister, a friend, a girlfriend, a writer, a poet, a princess in disguise, a worker, a librarian, a tenant. I WANT: more out of life that what I'm getting. I want to be able to be able to pay my rent all at once and still have money to save for a trip. I WISH: A publisher will fall madly in love with my manuscript....and that life were less complicated...and that my boyfriend and I were on the same land mass... I HATE: not being on the same land mass as my boyfriend, not knowing who I can trust around me. I LOVE: Some people more than others. I MISS: doing kids church on Wednesday night. I FEAR: failure. I HEAR: The quiet buzzing of the computers, Alfonse whistling and his chair squeaking out at the main desk, traffic on Main Street. I WONDER: too much to write here...as I wonder a lot...sometim

I hate to say this...but is it just me, or is there something wrong when you're talking to a friend and she says, "You know, the only time I hear happines out of you regarding your church is when you're talking about the dance group." She went on to say that my church frustrates her [she goes to a different one]. She related how she feels that church should be a place you feel safe at...which is when I told her she sounded like my boyfriend [minus the delightful English accent of course]. And then an hour later...my friend who was recently kicked out of my church...almost but not quite invited me to her new one. By that, she just let me know when it started in the morning. I have mixed feelings as this is the friend that told me she lied to me and didn't trust me and all that...so I don't know how we would get on being at the same church again. But at the same time...I do know the people she know calls pastor and know that they're good and godly people

I hurt. I'd forgotten what it's like to stand on concrete for 8 hours...ouch. I expected a few aches and pains as my body started working like it hasn't in a while....I mean, busdriving is an easy job, so is the library position. I didn't expect my hands to start hurting. I hurt them a few years back at a local factory...plastic parts for vacuum cleaners, and they didn't provide a machine to put these caps together so we had to do them by hand...and my hands were screaming the next day. I ended up going to the doctors, he diagnosed it as tendonitis, and taking a break from work didn't help them...I ended up having to go to therapy because my muscles were stiffening up and I was loosing the use of my hands...$1500 later and much prayer from my church family and it got so that they only bothered me if I were to type a lot, so I had curtailed back until that no longer bothered me either. So, they hardly ever hurt any more...until I started my new job. It's real

I got the job!!! Isn't that exciting? It's nightshift, though and it's gonna be dirty...but I can handle a little bit of dirt...and I don't think I'll be in this position for long as there is room for advancement and I'm a smart girl so I expect I'll be in another position eventually. I start tonight though, after working at the library all day today..I am gonna be whooped come 4AM...well, maybe it won't hit me until I actually get home...wouldn't that be nice?!?! My friend continues to insist that it was due to conversations I had with my Pastor that caused her to be kicked out of leadership and later the church. Like I maliciously maligned her. Why would I betray the woman who holds all my secrets??? Would someone explain that one to me...there's no logic to it at all!! I almost wonder how much my question about balancing friendship and leadership. In October, we we had a special speaker in {still not sure what was so special about him

It has been a beautiful day. Mostly blue sky, with a few white clouds floating through. And warmer than yesterday, but not as sweltering as last week. I've been waiting by the phone all day because I'm playing "phone tag" with one of the people from the newspaper ... they want an interview!!! Yay! I have a busy week this week. Church meetings tonight, tomorrow night, Wednesday night, nothing Thursday that I know of...or Friday, but I work at the library on Friday. And I think also Saturday. Oh no, I forgot, Friday night is the Watch {our glorified prayer meeting}. My friend/former friend is still confusing me, even though we no longer talk. I heard her on the phone with another friend today and she sounded like the old her ... like the good old her. I can't go to her and ask for things to be worked out though...as I'm fairly certain that she told me to stay away from her family...so it would be up to her to approach me. I would love to win a vacation trip righ

New Trek and a new Poem . Life is strange. But then I wouldn't know what to do if it were any other way. LOL! Nothing else to say tonight.

There is something wrong in this world when they steal the magnetic smiley face off the back of your car. Which someone has done. But, I only rolled my eyes heavenward and said, "Whatever!" Must be the neighborhood kids were bored or something.