Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Where Do People Get Off?

I just had an argument with my brother..about how people grieve. We were watching this stupid chick flick...and this one lady was burning clothing on her hubands grave...her way of closure...and he thought it was stupid and since my wound is still fresh and raw...I might have went off on him....I mean, everyone grieves differently...who he is to declare that one's way is "stupid"...I asked him if he's ever lost a spouse...to which he replied, "Have you?" Silence...he says, "I've broken up with people before...and I've had people break up with me before...get over it." So I asked him if he had ever had any one cheat on him, right in front of him. There was some swearing involved.

NO ONE has the right to say "Just get over it to me. No Steven and I weren't married, and we weren't togther for a very long time. But ---- I'm ashamed to say this --- we did have sex. Sex creates that bond, whether Steve ever wanted to admit it or not. And he left me, for a younger more "experienced" woman, without so much as a proper goodbye. He lied about it. He slept with her while at the same time sleeping with me. That is a wound that doesn't just heal over night.

It will heal, I know that...but to be honest...the tears and the ranting and raving are all part of the healing process and no one has the right to tell me it's wrong...not even my brothers.

Are all men this callous and cold hearted to a woman's pain. Sheesh.

4 comments:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You're right Ciera; he really is low for doing that. You are right in saying people grieve in all sorts of different ways, like bereavement. It's a very raw, human emotion.

Daydream believer said...

You poor thing. I'm so sorry...time really does help...just keep busy, keep writing. Miss you.

Cliff said...

Um, this is really a comment more for the reader than for Ciera. I'm not the brother she's talking about. It was our other brother who was so insensitive.

Ciera, I agree with you. He's a low down, mean dispicable.... Well, you know the rest.

Daydream believer said...

Where are you? I hope you are ok.