Sunday, April 29, 2012

Halo Wars

So, one of the things I've done in the name of love since joining with Justin has been learning how to play Halo Wars on the Xbox.  It's not really my thing.  I prefer playing games like Hexic, or Bejeweled Blitz.  The occasional racing game because I suck at driving anything on a game console - part of my fun is how many times I can crash it during the course of the race lol!

What I have learned from playing Halo Wars is interesting though.  For those of you who don't know, it's a war game in which you are in charge of commanding the army.  You can play against the computer, or actual people courtesy of Xbox Live.  Personally - I've found that I'm not a very good player on my own, I play better as part of a team.  I'm better at implementing other's strategies rather than coming up with them on my own.  I'm also not very good at changing strategies mid-game...though I'm learning.  And I've learned that I don't like losing...ok, nobody does, but somebody has to and i don't like it when it's me.  lol!  Thank God I'm not in command of any armies in real life.

It does have real life applications though.  I'm a far better follower than I am a leader.  And while I can augment someone else's ideas, left on my own, I'm not the best.  Ideas are best come up with in a group.  And I don't handle life's curve balls very well...but I'm learning.

After all, isn't that what life is about?  At least partially.  Trying new things and changing when needed and learning.  Because we don't play with or against AI's...but with living people.  And they're a very unstable element!  Lol!

Life's not static, but fluid.  Ever moving and changing.  Like the changing of the season, we might revisit seasons from time to time - but even then they're not the same.  this summer will be different from last summer.


Friday, April 27, 2012

Yet Another Weekend

What else is there to say?  At least my head has finally stopped bothering me, for the moment.  It's ached the past two days.

Not much going on at the moment, so why I feel the need to post, I don't know.  The dog is whining for attention.  The boyfriend is in the bedroom playing Halo Wars.  I'm on the borrowed laptop making up for lost blogging time.

I do have a few posts in mind, but I'll probably get to them later this weekend.  I'm about ready to go veg!  lol

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Drunk People Suck

Ok, when you're DD...drunk people suck. They are too loud, they are argumentative, they spill stuff, and because they weren't thinking even when they were sober those of us who are sober are trying to keep the toddler out of the jelloshots, safe, out of harms way and entertained. Seriously, who brings a toddler to an adult birthday party for a 21year old? It was an interesting experience though, as I myself have never been to a party like that. And really do not see the appeal. I've been falling down drunk only once...and I do NOT like it. I like being able to remember what is going on, and I like being in control of myself. I'm not opposed to having a good time, but there is such a thing as too much!

I know that some of it comes from hidden hurts in their lives. Rachel is a sweetheart (she's a cousin of Justin's) but her need to get shitfaced is a strong indicator that she's trying to doctor the hurts deep inside. I don't know all the details from her childhood...she's still in her very early 20's, so she's not that far from still being a kid in a lot of ways. But what of the older adults, I wonder. To a large degree, I just do not understand.

Granted, in some ways I do. My drug of choice is food. I eat to feel better. Instead of having a beer, I had a second piece of cake...and then a third. My blood sugar was 151 this morning. Higher than it usually is on the weekends. Although there have been times when I've eaten nothing but Little Debbie's and wine for the weekend and had great numbers the next morning, so that's not reliable. Lol! I eat to distract from problems and boredom. Probably some of the same reasons people drink themselves silly.

At least I can remember what happened the next morning.

Forgive me if I sound as though I'm judging. I'm not really. I'm just at a loss of how to reach these people. God/Jesus wants more for their lives than this. Mine too. Because I'm no better.

Friday, April 20, 2012

It's a 3 day weekend!

Well, this weekend is a three day one. We're having another 'dark' day on Monday. My body says 'yes, yes, yes' but the paycheck says 'no, no, no!' I guess we're just getting as many cows in. It'll change before long and they'll be working us on Saturdays too. Blech!

It's not even supposed to be nice this weekend, it's supposed to start raining sometime tomorrow. Not that I really mind. I don't do anything outside anyway. Not much to do here in the trailer court anyway. I do like riding four wheelers up to his parents; they have lots of woods and land. I don't mind going for walks up there.

Have some hard decisions to be making shortly. Mom has found herself living alone. Liston finally moved out on his own. Sara was thinking about moving back in, actually has been living there since January...and for whatever reasons she's not sharing with me, she's changed her mind. If some modifications were made, like a way for Mom to be able to take care of the dog Liston left behind, she shouldn't have too much trouble actually living by herself. There are cleaning aides from Area Agency of Aging coming in already that are a big help. It's the money that's the issue. Mom lives off of social security and disability, and her outgoing exceeds her incoming. If it's not a big amount, us five kids ought to be able to make up the difference. I hate the thought that she might have to move out and lose her home of 40 some years. It's just not fair. I don't know how much help I'll be getting from my siblings either. Any one of them could fight me on it out of spite over crap that happened years ago. I just don't know.

Justin didn't say much when I talked to him about it, which isn't a bad thing. I mean, if he wanted to fight me on it that would have been the time. He really has no point of reference for any of this. His parents are younger, healthier, more financially well off. And he's an only child. Brat! Lol! He is so spoiled! But then, so was I for a few years.

I just donated a few dollars to a kids in Scotland. He's doing a triathlon as a fundraiser for a Commission/Mission project. He's an Xbox buddy of Justin and seems like a good kid. PayPal automatically converted the US dollars to the UK Pound, glad it's smart than me! Lol!

I'm getting of this blog for the moment and cruising on to my next project. Idk what yet, but I'll figure something out! Lol!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Jots and Tittles

Today was a long day at work, at least it felt it. Same 8.5 hours as usual, just lots of lean cow. Lean cow is a grade of beef, and becuase they're skinny cows, you don't get much from them. Which means that it takes 'forever' to do 550 head! Lol! But we all survived! I want to share two new blogs I've discovered. One is by Mara Wilson, the child actress who played Matilda is now 24! She's a smart cookie, and I find her writing fresh and invigorating. The second is a new one written by my brothers ex. Alysson is sweet and funny, and I hope she keeps writing. I managed to get up a new post at my fiction site, the long awaited Pt 47 of Zion's Children. I have started the next post, but do not know when it will be up. I know Mara said that there is no such thing as writer's block, just lack of faith in our abilities, but to be honest, what else would you call it when you have blank paper and blank screen and NOTHING comes out. The little voice that is my poet, the movie screen that is my fiction, just hasn't been there. Not having a computer to post doesn't help either. lol :P Been posting some poetry lately too. That link is off to the side. I am so tired sometimes. I know that is largely in part to the under active thyroid, that doesn't want to respond to the medicine. I try to be patient, but it never seems to be any different. Maybe tomorrow!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

And the CT said...

Well that was cool. Really! The doctor took Justin and I step by step through the CT scan of my sinuses! My septum, the middle part between the nostrils, is seriously deviated. And there were two spots that were enlarged, one that was touching the septum wall. I was told it shouldn't be doing that. There was also some immflamtion in one of the forehead sinuses. We did talk about surgery...the risks and possibilities, etc. To straighten the septum and clear some of that other stuff out. But first I'll have allergy testing done. Simply put, if the allergy test comes up positive, no surgery just more treatment. If the allergy test is I am at the point where I don't care what they do, I just want to be able to breath through my nose again! Surgery is a scary thought though, because all surgeries cary some amount of risk. Since this would be close to the brain, of course there is more risk involved. And I'm not fond of being put under anyway becuase I have a tendancy to dream when I'm coming back out...for some reason, I just don't like that. When I had my gallbladder out, I dreamt about the Daily Review. Talk about a nightmare! Lol! The second time I was put under, for a minor feminine issue, I don't remember what exactly I dreamt just that it was chaotic. And I did get dinner out! I swear that China's plot to overtake the world is their Chinese Buffets! Lol! This one has a good selection of Chinese and other foods. Better than the other one in the Valley. Oh well. Back to work on Wednesday. So looking forward to it...NOT! lol! ttyl.

Day off

So I have today off...processing and map were both given the day off. I don't know why exactly just that we're not losing as much this way. Maybe the cost of cows is up again. It worked out ok though because I was going to get out early anyway for a doctors appt. which is where I'm headed to at the moment. Justin got out from his job at lunch to drive me. Sometimes I hate only having one vehicle, other times not. Today is a day I hate it. For some reason he's turned the radio up loud, maybe cuz he has his window open? Lol! Well this is my second visit to the Ear, Nose, Throat doctor. Wonder what he'll say today. I get a CT scan first-what fun! Not! Lol! Wonder if he'll order an allergy test, or order more antibiotics? I guess I'll find out soon enough lol! It is a nice day tho. Maybe I'll get dinner out? Ttyl.

Friday, April 13, 2012


Hi there folks. There hasn't been much to write about recently. Life has been pretty much the same. Blah! Lol! I can post from my phone but I have to do with one finger even though it's a touch screen fingers are too big I guess! lol! I did post a poem on my other site, but I couldn't get a picture posted until I got on a computer I don't know how long we're borrowing this laptop but I'm enjoying it!