Saturday, December 31, 2005

Plants and the New Year

I bought a plant last night. Probably paid too much, but it was a nice little ivy plant. It's a friends house right now as we went to see the Narnia movie last night and I didn't want to leave it in my car for that long. I don't know why exactly I would do this to this poor innocent plant, as I do not have a green thumb. I even managed to kill an aloe plant, which is a cactus and how in the world do you kill a cactus???????? Perhaps this one will fare better.

And you all read that right. I went to the theater and saw the Narnia movie for the second time. When oh when will it come out on vhs and dvd???? I caught several things I didn't the first time through, from Santa's shadow on the snow [duh] to a parrellel between the war the kids fled from and the one they fought in Narnia.

We are on the brink of another new year. I am rather more pessimistic and cynical than I have been in past years, and yet at the same time I've had a wonderful run of emails this week that has helped take the edge off of that.

I'm thinking of adding a second blog here, a fiction sight seperate from Superhero Bob. Just a thought. Of course, I'd actually have to feel creative for that wouldn't I? I'm barely getting Bob by, poor girl.

I think I'm going to go have a donut now.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Friday musings

It's been a good week. It was kind of rough on Sunday, Christmas and all. Was kind of like being in a small war zone, though the family wasn't as bad as they've been in the past. Someone at some point told me to "grow up" and I was so tempted to flip them the bird, which would have been a fine mark of my maturity, and tell them that if they could do any better after coming out of a sick bed to fix a lot of what they were eating then they could just go for it. But I didn't. I've done a good deal of sleeping this week, which has really felt kind of good. BUT----during my awake hours, I've spent a good deal of time at my bestest friend's place and we've had a few good talks. A lot has been forgiven on both sides, and we're moving on. This is good. this is very good.

Prayer was...interesting...last night. My friend has been removed as leader...a decision I don't agree with but I'm only a "civilian" at church and my opinion in matters matter very little. So Pastor has taken over the role as leader until he either finds someone new or sees whatever it is he is expecting to see in my friend. She is not hopeful, as she had grown much these past few months and you can't "un-mature" soooo...she doesn't think she can give him what he wants. Honestly, it would take a others before her. And so, last night Pastor kind of sets the rules for praying in a group...which is everything my friend has been saying for over a year...and most of us do good at following them...until Mr. Praise and Worship leader starts...and he busts them all! And it's OK! I'm sitting there terrified to even pray cuz he's sitting right next to me and then it suddenly doesn't matter because he's taken over the entire meeting!!!! I would rather not go if that's the way it's going to be.

It is really kind of quiet in the library today. The boss isn't in so there's no singing going on and I'm much to busy on the computer here to sing a song...that and tired from being out late last night with my friend. I took her over the mountain to Walmart and it was after midnight when we got home. When she found that out, she was like, 'You should have smacked me'. I just told her I was having fun and didn't mind. Which is true. I value her friendship even more now, and so.....

We have a church service Saturday night, to ring in the New Year. It's always a fun night. Food, of course cuz we're """bapticoastals""" Boardgames, more food. Praise and worship and prayer throught the midnight hour {I love that phrasing for some reason} and .... shhhhh ...some of us might prayer through the night. cool!

Ok. I have to go pretend to do a little library work before shutting down for the noon hour...woudn't want people to think I was having too much fun here!!!!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Blood

This is not my poem, I am not sure who wrote it, but it was forwarded to me by a friend and it was too good not to share [almost made me cry..."almost" because I'm in the library!] I think it will bless a few of you too.


One night in a church service
a young woman
felt the tug of God at her heart.
She responded to God's call
and accepted Jesus
as her Lord and Savior.
The young woman had
a very rough past,
involving alcohol,
drugs, and prostitution.
But, the change in her
was evident.

As time went on she became
a faithful member of the church.
She eventually became
involved in the ministry,
teaching young children.
It was not very long until this
faithful young woman
had caught the eye and heart
of the pastor's son.
The relationship grew and
they began to make wedding plans.
This is when the problems began.
You see,
about one half of the church
did not think that a woman
with a past such as hers
was suitable for a pastor's son.
The church began to argue
and fight about the matter.
So they decided to have a meeting.
As the people made
their arguments;
tensions increased,
the meeting was getting
completely out of hand.
The young woman
became very upset
about all the things
being brought up about her past.
As she began to cry
the pastor's son stood to speak.

He could not bear the pain
it was causing his wife to be.

He began to speak
and his statement was this:
"My fiancée's past is not
what is on trial here.
Wha t you are questioning
is the ability of
the blood of Jesus
to wash away sin.
Today you have put
the blood of Jesus on trial.

So, does it wash away sin or not?"
The whole church began to weep
as they realized that they
had been slandering
the blood of
the Lord Jesus Christ.
Too often,
even as Christians,
we bring up the past
and use it as a weapon
against our brothers
and sisters.
Forgiveness is
a very foundational part
of the Gospel of
Our Lord Jesus Christ.
If the blood of Jesus
does not cleanse
the other person completely
then it cannot cleanse
us completely.
If that is the case,
then we are all in
a lot of trouble.
What can wash away my sins?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus!

End of case!!!!
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord,
and he shall sustain thee
he shall never suffer
the righteous to be moved."

Psalm 55:23

Friday, December 23, 2005

Merry Christmas

Off for the holidays. So y'all have a Merry Christmas! And a happy Hanakkuh! And while you're at it, whether it's a holiday or not - Have a good day!


Much joy to you all!

Love, Ciera :)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Things to think upon....

Do you suppose that the stores that have banned their cashiers from saying "Merry Christmas" are also choosing which songs they play over the loud speakers. What about - "I want to wish you Merry Christmas/Feliz Navidad"?????? In theory, if they ban their cashiers from saying the phrase, then they can not play ANY song mentioning the phrase either, otherwise they are contradicting themselves!!!!

OK. I guess that was only one thing. I had an entire list this morning, but can you believe I have since forgotten all the other things?

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Blog Test

Who comes up with these things? And why do I find them so much fun?

How evil are you?

Saturday, December 17, 2005

stayed home

Well, I stayed home this weekend. Going to try to go to my bro's later, during Christmas break. So, I shall clean the library this afternoon, then go home to tidy my place and put up my 12inch Christmas tree.

Not sure if I'll get to see my friend this day, as she wasn't home when she said she was going to be ... which is what finds me sitting here on a free Saturday blog surfing and stuff. Oh wait, I do that anyways. Nevermind!!!

Hope this weekend finds you all warm and dry.


Friday, December 16, 2005

Winter snow and Wierd Habits

I had more trouble getting out of my parking lot this morning than I did driving on the roads. Hopefully the maintenance man Byron will have the lots cleared of snow by the time I have to go home. And I had to park on the other side of the street from the library instead of right in front, because there was no way I was going to park in unplowed snow ya know. I'd rather walk a few extra feet than have my car stuck!

I was tagged over at
Carl's and since I can't help but do these things:

Here are the rules:

“The first player of this game starts with the topic “five weird habits of yourself,” and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You are tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.”

And so, without further ado, here are - -

Five Weird Habits of Mine:

1. I Blog. This might not seem unusual in the grand scheme of things, but believe me - where I live, I am odd for doing this.

2. I like cold pizza, especially for breakfast. I can't stand it rewarmed...blech.

3. Like Carl, I rewatch movies...I watched LOTR:The Fellowship of the Ring 6 times the first week my sister brought the movie home...a little obsessive I know.

4. I won't stomp through puddles or walked through water if I can help it because I can't stand wet feet.

5. I still read the comics every day. MY favorites are: BC, For Better or For Worse, Garfield, Rose is Rose, and Bob the Squirrel.

Okay, those tagged would be:
Superhero Bob
Daydream Believer
The Captain

And like Carl, I won't be offended if you don't share yours!

I would have tagged
Rob, but he doesn't do them. Party pooper. I would have taged Fluke too - but he's busy in the middle of a party.

Oh, I guess doing these meme things would count as an unusual habit wouldn't it? :)


My thanks to Daydream Believer for giving me the idea of posting an avatar on my Blog instead of a pic.

*hugs* back! :)

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Since we have no where to go...Let it snow

Well, as is snowing. Looks like the freezing rain and stuff is gonna stay south of PA though. This makes me very happy. On the bright side, school let out early, almost before it started snowing...this too made me happy as the roads hadn't got wet enough to be slippy yet. I only had a little bit of slippage at the last stop. Not too bad at all.

My fingers are cold. That could be because it's cold outside. I'm not sure what the temp in the library is, but it's chilly in the computer room. Could be all the windows.

I don't have to do bus tomorrow [headstart has Friday's off regularly] and so the farthest I have to go is up to the library to work all day. I wonder, would it look odd if I were to keep my gloves on? Just a thought.

I am making progress in life. I'm beginning to take an interest in my appearance again [someday I'll post a pic of myself, promise]. I'm beginning to take an interest in the cleanliness of my apartment [no, you'll probably never see a pic of that!]. I'm even trying to resurrect a certain Superhero. I'm beginning to read my Bible again [which only makes sense since it contains the Word of Life!]

Ever hopeful.


Author's addition: Yeah - ok, the freezing rain and sleet didn't stay south. I'm an author, not a weather forecaster! Can't blame me for wishful thinking, can you?

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

A hodgepodge

It's gonna snow. I know this outside of the weather report because of three things.
#1- the sky was a glorious red and lavendar this morning...all the way around the horizon.
#2- the kids on the bus are even more highstrung than usual.
#3- I plan on going away this weekend.

I heard the neatest story on the radio today. Ok, I only caught about half of it. This couple had sent an email telling about all the trials they were going through, and how other Christians had stepped in to help them. They had even put their wedding rings on Ebay in an effort to raise money. So, John and Denny of the morning show had this couple come in and at the end of it...someone had bought the wedding rings and through John and Denny, gave them back to the couple!!! I thought it was cool. With all the terror in today's world, there is still Love.

There was something else I wanted to say here. thinking.........sheesh.....I'll have to come back later and repost, that is if I ever remember what it was.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

You know

You know you've got a winning hairdo when a compliment is the first thing out of one of the little boys on the bus!!!!

Saturday, December 10, 2005


A slip of the tongue can get you in BIG trouble.


I got to see Chronicles of Narnia last night. Very cool movie. It's been a few years since I've read book form of "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrone" so I wouldn't be able to tell you were the movie strays from the book like my friends was able least she didn't make comments throughout the movie!! I think one of my favorite scenes was Lucy finding the wardrobe and uncovering it...the angles of the camera's and the music were awesome. It was like she was finding this magnificent treasure...and she was.

Heard a great comment on a different movie preview that stuck with me.

"You're not a failure until you refuse to get back up."

The guy was talking about skateboarding, but it applies to ALL areas of life.

It's another Saturday here at the library. Nothing going on, although the sirens went off a few minutes ago so there must be a fire or an accident somewhere. Both are nasty prospects in this cold weather - 24 Degrees! Brrr. One of my friends, my best one, in fact told me a story soem time ago what it was like for her and her family when they first moved here to PA. Previously they had lived in Ohio and there the sirens that we use for fires and accidents are used for tornado warnings. {See where this is going} So the first time their new towns fire sirens went off, they all headed to the basement becuase even if it was a blue sky, if the tornado siren was going was a good while before they figrued they were safe and came out to find out what was going on. Culture shock? They thought we were a little nuts. She actually has a good point though. We have no warning device for tornado's or anything like that. Good thing we don't get too many. We had, I think 2 bad storms this past summer that had tornado potential. Not like that one summer.

Going to keep this short today.

Blessings everyone. :)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Same subject, different characters

Today ~ on the radio...Chip's still talking about perspective and focus and whatnot. And the Scottish guy in the morning was talking about Joseph. At least, I think he's a Scot. Could be Irish. I just dunno! He has a nice accent though...he kept saying "Psalm" this morning and at first I though he was saying Sam!

Anyway. Joseph was not protected from circumstances, but in them. He was protected by God's presence...protected from the silent killers of Resentment, Self-pity, and Bitterness. And he was protected for a unique purpose {echoes back to Jeremiah 29:11}.

And Chip says this about perspective:
Our feelings follow our focus,
Our focus follows our affections,
Our affections follow our thinking.
That and we're like a sponge...when we get squeezed by life, we find out what we're really retaining, what we're really filled with.

So - Since I seem to be leaking Resentment, Self-pity and Bitterness...then that means my focus has been off...and that I haven't been in God's presence. Ahh - more verses from James. "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you." If memory serves, that's right after talking about submitting to God.

Is it just me, or did my brother just spank me down below in the previous post? ouch. consider me chastened. I think I'm gonna start calling him Spanky!

Seriously though...the people I am in the contact with the most right now seem to be consistantly irritated with me {{{shrug}}}

Ok. Back to talking about God's presence. I saw what they call a sundog today. It has something to do with ice crystals in the atmosphere - which makes sense since we have a storm coming in tonight. I've found a photo from NASA to show what I'm talking about. I was going to just post it, but I noticed it had a copyright on it and wasn't sure if I should do that. So here's the link:
I was driving the bus and the 'real' sun was hidden by a mountain...and off to the left...was this faint sundog. I'd never seen one before and it was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. It was a God moment.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Life on the Edge

This is the name of a radio program that I try to listen to each day. It comes on FLN at 12:30, and also on the Q at 1:00, so if I tune in late to the first one, I can catch the beginning as soon as it begins. Backwards, I know, but it works. Today the teacher, Chip Ingram, started a new series...about perspective. And it drove home just what a negative pessimist I am. And a lot of that has to do with where my focus is. He taught from the opening chapter of Philippians, which Paul wrote while in prison. He walked us verse by verse to show us how Paul responded to his circumstance - with an upward focus, an outward focus, and a forward focus. Needless to say, Paul wasn't focusing on his circumstances. Which I am so very good at doing.

I want to have a right perspective, which I think is probably one of the things that God is trying to teach my right now. I do so wish that the transformation was quicker though. I mean, I hear so much about how God can do a quick work, and I've even had it prayed over me [see-I'm even taking too long for other people].

Of course, how do we learn this - but by trials and aggravating circumstances{tribulations}!! BUT, according to Romans 5:3-5 "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Ha! Yes! How's that for perspective! I should tac these verses somewhere so that I can see them more often!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

A hope and a future...a destiny?

Jeremiah 29:11 ~ For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~ {thoughts can also be translated as 'plans'}

So said the Lord to me shortly before my high school graduation, one of the worst experiences in my life. Since then, whenever I have grown discouraged or in some way have gone astray...God has almost literally thrown this verse back in my face "Hello - girl - I haven't forgotten" so to speak. This time, He did it differently and my mind went back to the verse on its own.

To some degree, I have misinterpreted recent events - for example, I haven't lost my bestest friend like I thought I had. And I've allowed Man's opinion to outwiegh God's. Like I just told a friend, one of my biggest flaws in an almost instantious jumping to the wrong panicky conclusion - I don't do it on purpose! but I can't seem to change this either. And so I've gotten to the point of discouragement where I was literally wrapping myself into a numb coccoon. Given up. Lord, just take me home so I don't have to face this miserable world anymore.

Everything had shattered - is shattered. Everything I ever thought God had ever said to me regarding those plans He says He has, just shattered. That's how it looks to me and honestly still looks. When I listened to a tape of a sermon from a few weeks ago - regarding destiny - my response was one of anger, to the point of tears {it's a good thing no one else was one the bus with me, they'd have thought I'd completely lost it!}

"Destiny?" I thought. "I have no destiny. It's a lie, all a lie. I'm never going to be anyone or do anything of lasting affect. I'm nobody..." Etc. All the way home, almost 20 minutes worth of thoughts of this vein.

And then I picked up one of my books at home to read in an effort to make myself number, a Christian fantasy novel called "The Shadow Within" by Karen Hancock. And I found myself hit between the eyes as I found my Pastor's sermon there. I almost threw the book across the room.

The main character was basically in an underground church meeting and here were the words that hit mo so hard:

"They {{powers&principalities from Ephesians 6}} will hide in the shadows and the darkness, hoping you will forget they exist. Hoping you will focus on the pawns they send against you, instead. They will seek to wear you down, to fill you with fear, to get you to doubt your ability, your destiny, your very place in the Light.
"They will seek to keep you from using your power that is your heritage and rely instead on human power......
"You have a destiny. Do you know what it is? Are you willing to embrace it? Lay down your very life in its service? Or will you let your enemy hold you back with fears and illusions, keep you from trusting him whom you should trust above all others? He knows exactly what he is doing in your life, and he has everything under control. You know that, but do you believe it? Will you go forward in the direction he has led you and rest in the knowledge that he'll see you through it? Or will you back away?"

I could have screamed when I read that. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

And then later - as the main character is facing one of those nasty beasts that are prevalent in fansty fiction - God tells him to drop all his weapons and to just trust him. OF course our hero balks. Who wouldn't---you're standing in fron tof a fantastic beast with sharp teeth and claws and Gos wants you to do what? Drop your manmade weapons?? To face the enemy - with nothing.......And God says to him......"And that is the only way you'll walk through the door of your destiny, my son. You must trust me completely, no matter what sight tells you. Put aside your own ideas and plans and let me do as I wish with you."

Clay in the potter's hand.

Again I say - AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Perhaps all is not lost after all. Even though it feels it.

I know this was long, but it was something I thought important enought to share with y'all.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

What in the world?

OK. I drive bus for headstart, right? Where the parents [or grandma or babysitter or whatever] has to come out to put the kid on the bus. So, as I was about ready to leave the Center today, one of the teachers comes out and wants to know if I can take one of the kids righ tback home [uh, hair issues] and I'm like, OK [cuz it's my job]. So, she comes back out with the kid saying that they hadn't been able to get ahold of the mom and did I notice whether the mom was dressed when she put the kid on the bus? Whoa...I stopped looking at what the person was wearing last year when the guys came bounding out of the trailer in pajama bottoms and holding onto his crotch like it was falling off! Very traumatic. So my best response to the teacher this morning was...'uhm, I dunno.' I mean, as long as nothing is falling out, I don't look to see whether they're still in their jammies or not. [and how can you tell anymore anyways?] Anyway, the mom wasn't home and I had to take her back to the Center where I was told that the mom was at her mom's. Why didn't we find that out before hand instead of hoping that she was 'just in the shower'????????? yeah, like that's something I would have wanted to interupt!!


It has rained a good bit here in the past few days. It was almost balmy the other night, at 57 degrees! There is a lot of small stream and field flooding. I remember how when I was in school, we always got so worried on the schoolbus when we saw the fields flooded. Like we were afraid it was going to get high enough to come over the road. Well, it liked to in some of the flat places, but never very badly.

Thanksgiving is over. Next on the agenda is Christmas. Sigh. Hanging of the Greens services, and parties and I want to scream at the busy-ness of it all. I mean, I've seen out church schedule and it's very full. God forbid anyone have a crisis during the holiday season...uhm, actually, yeah, You can take that as seriously as it is sarcastic.

Does anyone else get tired of the constant bombardment of Christmas music on the radios? I have nothing against all the carols and hymns and stuff---it's the constant headbanging consistancy of it during this time of year. there is so much of it, that I think we'd be better off sprinkling it throughout the year. But that's just my opinoin.

Ok. Going to go check the email now.

Saturday, November 26, 2005


Here is an exerpt from an article by Lisa Bevere called "Stopping a Fight Before It Gets Out of Hand" that I thought would share. This deals with day to day relational issues, which is exactly what I have been struggling with.

Lisa says, "By overlooking an offense, we are like obediant children who say, 'Father, I know I can trust You with this one. It is too big and painful for me. I refuse to lash back; instead I lay it at Your feet and forgive.' It is a guesture that declares our royal birthright. For forgiveness imitates the Son of God to a dying earth. To overlook means to look above and choose to see things on a higher level than where the offense was committed. It is to pretend not to notice and extend grace and mercy when you would have rather exercised judgment."

I was cut to the heart when I read this, as I haven't been doing very well when it comes to forgiveness recently. To forgive as I have been forgiven...and as I wish to be forgiven. I can not want my best friend to forgive and forget my trespasses against her unless I am willing to extend the same grace to her.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Black Friday

I know why no one is stopping in at the library this's Black Friday! The one day to avoid shopping because absolutely everyone's out there shopping. AHHHHHH!

yesterday was a good day. I stayed in bed until after ten, though to be honest it was hard to sleep because I could smell whatever it was that my downstairs neighbor was baking. Whatever it was, it smelled wonderful! I puttered around for awhile till it was time to go to my bosses for the meal. It was a side of him I've never seen before, but at least he wasn't drunk just tipsy. It was good though. I was there for most of the afternoon, and then went home and finished watching a movie I'd started.

I really enjoyed the Thanksgiving service Wednesday night too. I rode out with pastors. It was like a unity/community service so there was a variety of demoniations represented. I got to sing one of my favorite hymns of all time too "For the beauty of the world."

I just got back from visiting my friend, the one with whom there has been so much strife between us. It was a good visit. We actually had a meeting last Saturday, and much was said. And was so wonderful just to have her smile at me!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Give Thanks

With a grateful heart.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and although we should always be thankful, this is the time of year for it to be emphasized sooooo.......a list of things that I am thankful for, because I can!

I am thankful for:

1. My jobs.
2. My home.
3. Grace like rain. Not the song, though I love it. I am thankful that God loves me and all that and now matter how much I screw up...strangely I am blameless in His sight because of the blood of Christ.
4. My blogger friends. Even though I worry that I'll become to attached to you all, who are kind of sort of like imaginary friends, but know what I'm trying to say? Please say you do!
5. I am thankful for an imaginitive mind, even though it sometimes gets me into trouble!!
6. The kids on my bus route. I love them so much!
7. Hugs.
8. The starry heavens
9. Hope
10. Life

I still haven't a place to go for tomorrow. But I will not despair. I will, however, sleep in!!! Mwuhahahahahaha!!!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! :-)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Shock and Awe

It is a strange thing. How someone can say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me" and still manage to correct you all at is truly amazing to me. I was shocked that this person actually admitted to being wrong, and at the same time, I was ashamed for wanting it.

But it got me to thinking. About Repentance and once they have happened...there is healing and restoration. I haven't completely researched it yet, but the verses I've peaked at in James make me think I'm not far off. I wonder, just as one person sinning can spoil others...can one person repenting turn others to repentance? Hmm....

Of course, as in any relationship helps to know the whole story. Why do we do that, I wonder? Close up and not share what is going on, I mean. I know that sometimes, there are things that hurt too deep to share right away. It is frustrating.

Thanksgiving looks to be a dismal day so far. I'm not about ready to invite myself to anyone else's dinner. And I can't afford to drive out to Mom's two days in a row, and I won't spend the night. I hope something comes up.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Picture Test

Going to try something.

If this works....all I need now is someone with a digital camera and I could show y'all what my new glasses look like!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Another Article

I found another article on Crosswalk that I wanted to share. This one deals with the Holidays and Singles. It was an encouraging read for myself. Hope it is for others as well.

One Woman Alone

As promised...a poem...

One Woman Alone
By: myself

One woman alone
She stand against the cold
Braving the wind and the rain
With no one left to hear her
Whether she lives or dies
No one hears the whispers shouted into the wind

Alone she lies
Beaten, bruised, bleeding
Words cut as knives
Twisted around and around
Till she no longer knows who said what
Or why it matters

Alone she drowns
……help me……
Beneath the weight of her sorrow
……can anyone hear me?……
Mocked and ridiculed because of it
……why Lord?……
Tears run down her face as they scold
……Jesus, I’m suffocating……
She surrenders and gives up
……I can’t take it anymore……
As she is at last told that her pain is imagined and unreal
……it hurts Jesus……

One Man alone
Arms wide open
Blood flowing freely
……covering, healing……
Broken heart, tears falling
Nail scarred hands holding her close
……His heartbeat……
A whispered promise that echoes
……I AM with you, always……

Alone she kneels
In the presence of the only One left
And pours out her heart
Lays down her sins
Gives her grievances over to Him
Starts over anew

One woman alone
……not alone……
She stands fortified by God’s grace
Shored up by His strength
Armed with the Truth
……His Word……
To face another day
……new mercies……
Not alone

Monday, November 14, 2005


Don't you hate it when yousay something stupid and have to take it back?

A while back, I answered a "MEME" question thus:
Three kid's names I like:Boys names:1. Jonathan2. Mark3. Joshua I will never name one of my sons Robert.Girls Names:1. Sierra2. Jewell3. Angela

Never thinking that one of my commenters name, Rob, would most likely be short for Robert.

I am such an idiot sometimes.


To explain - it's not the name's the nickname Bob that I don't like.

Hope I didn't offend anyone {Rob}.

Please forgive me if I did. Purty please, with cherries and whip cream and pudding?!?!?!

y'all. Look for a poem tomorrow.

Friday, November 11, 2005

A Twist on the Weekend Question

This weekend, and this weekend only, I'll answer any three questions posed to me by the commentors. Be nice and family friendly, please and thank you.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The Price of Vision these days...

Eye Exam = $69

Prescription lenses = $50

Frames = $29

Being able to see clearly without having to tip my head to compensate for the broken frame = PRICELESS

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Each time

Each time I think I've gotten a handle on my sorrow over losing my friend, a new wave rises up to great me.

And it burns because she will sit there and tell me that she's done nothing to hurt me and that I have done soooo much to hurt her. If she ever, ever says that to me again...I might ask her how to spell a word. {{5 letters ... starts with b - ends with an itch}}

And yet - - - I have to remember that love keeps no records of wrongs.

I want to scream.

Instead, I'm going to go home - have a Little Debby treat - and read a Psalm. Or 1 Corinthians 13.

Star Light Star Bright - guess what I saw last night?

I was telling this to a friend, and decided to share with y'all.

Last night, I went to take an article to my pastor, but he wasn't home...and I couldn't just leave it there without my name attached to it somehow and a note, cuz he hates that...and I didn't have a pen with me...and I almost decided to forget about it until today but at the last minute I decided to whip back around to the library to throw together a quick note for him. And it took longer than I expected. All this to say that when I finally got back to Pastors - - - and was walking across their yard - - - I just happened to look up and I saw a falling star...or is it a shooting star? Anyway. It was beautiful. Long and bright tale, that...well, for what it was, it just kind of mosied across the sky.

I love the stars...I always have. I could sit for hours just looking up at them {especially during meteor season} And knowing that God created me, with all my quirks and such, I know that this was His way of shouting down from heaven - "You're not alone!" Not alone. I might not have people here by my side, ready to listen to my piciyune trials, I am not alone.

Psalm 73:23 "Nevertheless I am continually with You, You hold me by my right hand."

Matthew 28:20 - the tale end of the Great Ccommision Jesus says, "I am with you always.

And of course all the promises about the Holy Spirit who is our helper, our comforter.

- - - - - -

And on a completely different subject:

I am getting sooo frustrated. each time I go to work on this novel for the month of November contest thing...the computer eats my new material up. I can't add anything new. It's all being done here at the library and so it's on a disk and it is beginning to annoy me greatly. A friend that I used to email from here said that she was getting emails with virus attachments...but each time I tell Alfonse that, he just ignored it. I mean, hey, how can we here at the library have a virus when the computers are so layered with security that a regular user can't even change the time on the clock in the corner {which is now 12 hours behind the right time}.

OK...whew - I feel better now. LOL!

Monday, November 07, 2005

Solitary Knight

OK, so I was perusing Rob's blog a little and found an excellent essay on, of all things, Batman Begins - along with a few other movies he threw in to illustrate his point. If you want to read it... Go Here!!

One of his comments that caught my attention was this one - "A hero’s journey is a solitary one into uncharted territory."

It is somewhat daunting. I am prepared, sort of, for the loneliness that I feel approaching me...that has already seized me. My friend was a large part of my day...well, ok, afternoon. And we did a lot of stuff together, and not just socially. I was her helper for the kids prayer meeting, and I did my best to help her in whatever she was doing. Well, now she's not doing anything and has in so many words told me to bug off. So - I've bugged off -----and now face hours of being alone. I know, I's one of the "great" things about being single....and I am soooo tired of hearing any of the married people that I know who have said that to me would give up their spouses and kids for very long in trade of my hours of alone time. But anyway.

There are some things that must be done alone. The entire "wilderness" experience is usually alone [not counting the millions of Jews in the Exodus!!!] Jesus spent hours alone with His Father, it was the source of His strength. And I just happened across the story of when Jesus fed the 5000 - guess where it took place??? In the wilderness. And Mark 1:35 - "Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed."

And yet - I feel so scared. Not of spending time alone with God - - - but of trying and not finding Him there. I have sat with my Bible for countless hours over these past few months and haven't really "felt" anything...which I know sets me up for countless 'It's not about what you feel" comments. yeah yeah. And what if I get something wrong? I can't go to pastor with every little question I come up with. Used to, but the truth is, he doesn't have time for me like he used to.

And yet - God sets the solitary in families [Psalm 68:6]. And I've just had mine taken away from me....not my 'biological' one so don't get your shorts in a wad Cliff. I mean, I haven't just lost my friend, but her entire family which she said I was a part of. Even the dog! I haven't got a dog anymore. Good Lord, listen to me and how selfish I am!

And yet - It is not good for man to be alone. [Genesis 2:18]

you're not laughing at me, are you Rob? Or chuckling, I mean.


Who needs more reasons?

Ten Reasons to Listen to Questions Before You Answer

Great I wish I could recommend to several people in my church right now. the key word in that titel is BEFORE. Sheesh. How many arguments could be avoided if we could just learn to listen...myself included.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

The Dark Knight

OK. I will admit it. I have a strange fascination with Batman. I don' t know why exactly, but I do. Wasn't a big fan of Michael Keaton as the Dark Knight, or George Clooney, but did like Val Kilmer. But they gave the new movie to someone other than Tim Burton so it wasn't as comic booky. Although the Scarecrow scenes with the hallucenogenic drug was a bit...intensely gross. Anyhow.......the best line and lesson in the movie is a phrase Bruce Wayne's father says near thebeginning. "Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up."

And so that put my week into a whole different perspective, doesn't it. While I would get into trouble for saying that I learned a spiritual lesson from a "worldy secular" movie - I did.

Verses from the bible: Psalm 37:24 "Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; for the Lord upholds him with His hand." Psalm 145:14 "The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down." James 3:2a "For we all stumble in many things."

And so. My friend shall have to take care of herself. For far too long it has been that where ever she has gone spiritually, I have followed. Whatever place she is at, that causes her to hate me enough to call me names, I will not go any further into that place of darkness myself. And I was. Didn't realize it completely at first, but I have now and I say "Thus far and no more".

It's going to be lonely. Yeah, I know that God is always with me and all that, even when I can't feel Him. But honestly...I'm very much alone right now, and yes, lonely. Oh, there are those in church who have said that I can talk to them anytime about my present pain, and that they wouldn't tell a soul......but I must say, that I don't trust them very much. I mean, I can't quite explain it, but I get the "feeling" that these persons are like wolves sensing a hurt lamb, or pirahana's smelling blood. Well, if fish smell. I'm not saying that I don't love those who have offered their shoulder to me. But I am not going to cry on them. I am working very heard not to shed my tears of hurt in public. Been doing a so-so job at it. Crying about it here doesn't count as public, although in a sense it is.

I think I'm going to check and see if I have enough money for ice cream, I'm having a hankoring for Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey. Complete change is subject, can you tell?! LOL.

Actually, I have to go back home and get my computer disk because I forgot it. Duh.

Friday, November 04, 2005


Never cut your hair when you're upset. Never! I went hacking at my bangs today, frustrated with how they were hanging to my nose...and hacking is the right word for it. My head was at an angle and so I cut them too short. I have a fringe at the top of my forehead now. I think the hair is less than an inch long. yikes! Perhaps I should hack the rest to match. At least then my hair would compliment my crooked glasses. I realize that I don't sit or stand straight, and so I thought that was the problem with my glasses....but Pastor S took them from me today when I was asking her about it and layed them on the table and no doubt about it...somehow they've gotten bent. Maybe that accounts for the headaches!!!!

If anyone wants to see a great haircut, click on my links to the left and go visit Rob...he just got a nifty one. Ok, I think he's cute so I'm biased :P I think that's the word I want there. Anyhow.

I'm trying my hand at the novel in a month contest and as I was writing the first few paragraphs, I realized that it was my Princess I'm going to wait until it's done and update the site here bit by bit instead of doing like I have been. OK. I have 20 some days left to write a couple thousand words...this should be fun.

Later y'all.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


The One with Three

Here's a little meme that's courtesy of Utenzi. Sorry, I haven't figured out how to do links in the blog yet.

Three names I go by:
1. R.A. Slater
2. Sierra/Ciera
3. Bob {well, the person who calls me this is calling me something else right now, so maybe it's no longer}

Three screen names I have had:
1. Ciera
2. Jedi Princess
3. Sierraanna

Three physical things I like about myself:
1. smile
2. hair
3. eyes

Three physical things I don't like about myself:
1. hips
2. teeth
3. uhm......busom [lack thereof] - - - sorry guys, I couldn't think of anything else, and it's the sad truth.

Three parts of my heritage:
1. German (50%)
2. Scottish (?%)
3. Those are the only two I know of for sure...although I once had an old man accuse me of being Irish because I was 'so damned stubborn'.

Three things that scare me:
1. total darkness
2. the thought of having an accident with my bus with kids on it
3. when good friends go bad

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. coffee
2. donuts
3. sleep

Three of my favorite musical artists:
1. Delirious? (yeah the question mark is part of their name)
2. Todd Agnew
3. Alan Jackson

Three of my favorite songs:
1. It's Gonna Rain [Delirious?]
2. Devotion [Newsboys]
3. Grace Like Rain [Todd Agnew]

Three things I want in a relationship:
1. Friendship
2. Grace/forgiveness
3. mmmmmm....

Three lies and truths in no particular order:
I'll let you decide what's what.
1. I'm very unemotional and hardhearted
2. I can lay on the couch and read for hours without noticing time pass
3. Chocolate is one of my food groups, right below cheese

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
1. Smile [kind, warm, generous...inviting]
2. eyes [same as above - color matters not]
3. Hands

Three of my favorite hobbies:
1. writing
2. reading
3. computer stuff

Three things I want to do really badly right now:
1. talk to someone I email in person
2. silence my boss so he'll quit bothering me while I'm not on duty
3. Have another donut...ok, I'd settle for a brownie!!!!

Three careers I've considered:
1. Church Pastor [not after this month - not ever again]
2. English Teacher
3. Pampered Chef Consultant

Three Places I want to vacation:
1. Alaska [Northern lights]
2. Hawaii
3. UK

Three kid's names I like:
Boys names:
1. Jonathan
2. Mark
3. Joshua
I will never name one of my sons Robert.
Girls Names:
1. Sierra
2. Jewell
3. Angela

Three things I want to do before I die:
1. get married
2. have several fiction books published
3. meet some of my blogger friends in person..ok, most of them...several...oh, all of them

Three ways that I am stereotypically a boy:
I have no way to asnwer this one. I like sci-fi and Indiana Jones and stuff, but no gorey stuff.

Three ways that I am stereotypically a girl:
1. I like shopping, especially shoe shopping
2. I love chocolate
3. I really like jewelry and stuff, even though I don't wear it often, but I like sparklely stuff.

Three celeb crushes:
oh sheesh, do I really have to admit this???
1. Alexander Siddig [Dr. Bashir on Deep Space Nine]
2. Jake Gyllenhaal
3. Richard Dean Anderson and Scott Bakula

Three people I would like to see post this meme:
Going to be nice...and just tag my brother Cliff. :)

Monday, October 31, 2005

Such is life

Such is life.

Friends come and then they go. Like - - whatever.

And yet, despite my advance maturity since a certain incident which shall remained unnamed....I have this overwhelming desire to scream "BITE ME" into the wind....and then drive off into the sunset laughing histerically like a madwoman {not to be confused with a woman who is mad}.

on the brighter side of life, my car has been fixed. My muffler is so quiet, that I can sneak upon people now!!!! Mwuahahahahah!

and the garage didn't take ALL my money. It left me with enough to by a smidgen of gas.

and maybe creamer for my coffee.

yes, it still hurts. it is never nice to be called a b*tch by the woman you were planning on being your matron of honor on that far away imaginary day when I marry some handsome gentlemen...but I am using humor to mask it.

Strange. I have also deeply offended the man I had vaguelly considered walking me down the aisle on the asaid for imaginary day. Perhaps, since God has taken both of them away, it means I will never marry. Sigh.

Life sucks...and I don't mean maybe...


I want a donut.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

It's Saturday

Nothing is going on today. We have a Halloween parade later, and the church may or may not have a float in it. We are having a party for the kids afterwards, and a table serving coffe and such to people as they pass by. I was asked to help with the kids party. hmm. And my bestest friend is having some sort of breakdown. And's partially my fault. Riiight. No matter how badly behaved I've been, how much I've screwed up, it's not within my power to how she reacts to it. Perhaps I am the 'straw' that broke the camels back. I can't even apologize though, because she hasn't told me what I've done. I wonder what it was....when I challenged her newly changed opinions? dared to rebuke her for how she had handles something [she's a leader and leaders are touchy about that kind of stuff.] No doubt I was out of line. I could easily hurt myself somehow right now and blame everyone else..."so and so doesn't like me, doesn't approve of me" "my bestest friend is rejecting me" "The housing authority has lost my rent and is trying to evict me"{try and figure that one out}...but I don't do these things, because she's the one that has taught me differently!!!!!

It's far easier to live in fantasy than real life.

Friday, October 28, 2005

I know

I know that I should be composing my next installment of the Princess thing, and I might later today. I don't really feel well right now. Blech. Can't stay at home in bed though, the world doesn't stop turning just because someone doesn't feel good, right? Whether it is emotional, or physical, and today it happens to be both. At least the only responsibilty that I have today is working at the library for an hour [whoop-tee-do] but an hour is better than nothing.

I told Alfonse this morning that I was a screw up and he scolded me something fierce. "Just because you screw up, doesn't make you a screw up! I don't ever want to hear you say that again!" Ha! What could I really say to that? "Uhm, sure...ok boss...whatever you say." Intellectually I know that screwing up, failing, whatever you want to call it...doesn't make me a screw up or a failure or bad and evil. It's the head talking the heart around to believing that has always been my weakness....sometimes I think there's a "wire" broken somewhere between the two.

On the bright side, it is sunshining right now, and actually almost warm out. I shed my jacket and am just walking around with a sweater. But then I might be having hot flashes [even though everyone except the doctor says I'm too young for them].

I have seven dollars left until Monday, when my noisy car goes into the garage and will probably take almost all of my bus paycheck. That so kind of sucks. But if I wanted to, just for today, I could stop at the Acorn and get a serving of french fries [only $1.49!!!!]. That would leave me with what, just over five dollars? Unless I get a drink.

OK. I'm shutting up now and going to go find lunch. Probably won't have the fries, but will head home and have something boring from the cupboard.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Where was I?

I believe the Old woman was encouraging the Princess to finish her lunch so that she could have dessert.

So...the afternoon passed, and into evening. Supper was simple...leftovers.

"I don't understand why I can't just stay here," the Princess said in quiet complaint. "Don't you want me here? Do you want to be alone?

The Old Woman didn't answer the last question. She didn't answer the first question. Instead, she asked one. "Why did you leave the tower?"

'I wanted out," the Princess answered. "To see the mountains and the city up close. I was tired at looking in from the distance."

"And how much of that are you doing here?"

Silence. In fact, the Princess outright scowled at the Old Woman.


"Point taken," the Princess said rather grouchily.

The Old Woman just laughed.

Monday, October 24, 2005

What I hate

I think what I hate the most within the church, other than sin, is the holier-than-thou attitude that can creep into the leaders. They are anointed for their positions, but does that necessarily make them 'holier' and more godly than the rest? I have a problem with that concept. Are people dumb? Yep, like sheep. But you know what, I have been given the same holiness that is given to every believer when they accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I might be overly emotional...I might be decieved from time to time about things...and I might suffer from an overblown sense of pride and arrogance...but...I am still saved by grace. It is that grace that shines in the darkness and shows me where I am astray. Perhaps I have been too open and honest about it...perhaps I have been too transparent about my trials and difficulties...but I thought I was safe in the church to do that. I was wrong. Do not get me wrong, I in no way mean disrespect to my leaders...I love them and try my best to respect them even when I don't agree. We are called to be a humble people...and it is NOT humilty to say that one is not godly because they are prone to cry in one knows my heart save the heavenly Father...{{{His love sometimes overwhelms me}}}.

Sigh. Perhaps they are farther along in the things of the Lord than I am. But that is no reason to judge me. Seems to me that they would desire to help me grow.

I am having a really hard time with these leaders right now.

On the bright side, I've been getting more sleep.

At least my boss likes me. LOL! Well, both of them. I might suck at church leadership...but I can drive bus and be a librarian! LOL!

The weathermen are saying it's supposed to snow. Yuck.

I am thinking of changing my mind. I had been thinking of going back to school and becoming a teacher, but the more I think about it...the more I think I ought ot go with the original dream of 7/8 years become a "real" librarian. my boss thinks I can do it. Who am I to argue with him?

OK. I have to go hit a few blogs and then go get something to eat.

Later y'all!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

On a more personal note


I dunno about myself sometimes.

Utenzi and Cliff - thanks for your encouraging comments on the earlier post.

Rob - thank you for understanding.

Captain - as always, my gratitude.

Fluke - - - - - what can I say? There's nothing like being called silly by you of all people! AI feel sooo....chastised! And you're right...hunger distorts things. So does sleep deprivation.

I lay awake and my mind won't shut down. Last night it was better. We had a string of special meetings at church this week and last night I did get prayer. I felt something change when the speaker prayed for me...and you'll all laugh when I say what I felt...I felt tired. Not a tormented tired, but a warm-I could-go-to-sleep-right-here-and-now-in-the Presence-of-God-and-not-think-twice-about-it. I haven't felt that in over a week. Which is actually kind of strange because generally when I fight depression I'm tired all the time and sleep and sleep and sleep. this time it 's awake awake awake. I'm thinking I'll drift off nice and "warm and fuzzy" again tonight {{hoping so}}

I did have a revelation of the love of God while on the bus yesterday. I was driving along listening to the radio before picking up the first kid and the song "More" by some guy who's name I can't remember and the FLN website isn't working so I'll have to tell you about it later. But it was a God moment.

ok. I have to go answer an email. Later y'all. :)

Better late than never!

The Princess...

She spent the rest of the morning in silence. After the Old Woman's story, she was no longer happy that she had left the tower. Surely imprisonment was safer than life on the outside.

At lunch, the Old Woman made up for the meager breakfast by sitting a plate full of steamy mashed potatoes slathered in gravy and roast beef in front of the younger woman. "You've been awful quiet," she said, thereby earning the "Stating the Obvious Award" for the year. "You thinking of going back?"

The Princess nodded.

"It's too late to go back..surely you know that."

"All I have to do is walk up to the front gate and knock."

"You could," agreed the Old Woman. "But don't you think you should at least make an attempt at tasting life before going back to that death?"

She shrugged. "I'd forgotten why I went there in the first place until you told your story. Life can sometimes bite you in the heart and leave you to bleed to death."

"True. And those first few months after my husband left were the hardest ones of my life. But...he didn't leave me alone after all. I had a daughter."


"And I realized that I couldn't spend the rest of my life afraid of what might happen...instead I had to savor each moment whether sweet or bitter."

"Where's your girl now?" the Princess asked, having no memory of her mother.

The Old Woman didn't answer right away {{{and the audience balances on the edge of their seats in anticipation}}}. "I haven't seen her since she was 3."

"What happened?"

"I...don't know. I tucked her into bed one night and the next morning she was gone. I looked everywhere for her...even lowered myself down the well to see if she'd fallen in."

The Princess was quiet again. That this old woman could talk about such things so matter-of-factly amazed her.

"Well now, once your finish with your meal, I want you to try this cloak on." The Old Woman guestured to the dark material she had been working on throughout the morning. "You'll need it in the morning when you go."


"I can't let you exchange one tower for another. Now finish up...there's pie for dessert."

Monday, October 17, 2005


Shelly - don't take any lessons from me! I'm not doing too well at the moment.

I must confess - I'm battling depression right now. I'm angry and so I'm getting sarcastic which only ever gets me into deeper trouble with the people in my life.

I mean, I shouldn't be depressed. the Bible says that God will meet all my needs...and yet I am facing going hungry in order to pay my bills...and yet my hours continue to go down at the library. the Bible says that I am loved...and the ones I counted as friends have decided that they don't and since they were ones who often conveyed the love of God to me...I doubt...not so much God's love but the calling that I thought was on my life. And if I've been wrong about that, then what else have I been wrong about?

On the other hand, we have services at church tonight and maybe the speaker will say something extraordinary that will reaasure me...I am praying that there will be either conform what I've thought the calling was or to confirm that it is indeed 'not'.

I'll work on the next installment of the Princess series tomorrow. Promise! :)

Saturday, October 15, 2005


Life has a way of taking up your time so that you can't post on your blog. Has anyone else ever noticed that?!?!? LOL!

It has been such a rough week. I wish people would grow up.

I'll try to get the next installment of the princess out tomorrow night.

We also just had like a week of miserable weather here too...Misty stuff that won't actually turn into a rainfall.


I'd really like a nap right about now too.


Monday, October 10, 2005

Pt 4

The rain continued into morning, and was still falling as the Princess ate a rather bland breakfast of oatmeal.

"We've all been there, at some point in our lives," said the Old Woman once the Princess had eaten her last bite.

"What do you mean?" she asked, sliding her bowl into the middle of the table.

"I mean we've all been held prisoner. Maybe not all of us have been held in a fancy tower like you, but the heart of it is the same." The Old Woman sewed an item of dark cloth as she spoke. Her hands resembled the roots of a tree, mottled with age and knuckles swollen by years of hard work, but they held the sewing needle firmly and they moved with sure gracefullness at each stitch.

The Princess watched the Old Woman's motions for several stitches before asking, "What's at the heart of it?"


The word had been spoken firmly, but without malice. Still it took the Princesses by surprise and she blinked 3 times in quick succession. "Fear of what?"

"Fear is fear." The Old Woman smiled gently. "Mine was fear of being the point where I wouldn't let my husband out of my site the first five years we were married. I'm surprised he put up with it that long. We each have different fears, but like I said..."

"Fear is fear," replied the Princess. "I was so afraid of rejection and of being abandoned that when I found a people who accepted me - I let them put me in the tower to keep me."

The Old Woman just sewed.

"What happened with your husband?" the Princess asked.

"He left me."


"My fear was so great, that it drove him away. My fear gave me the very thing I was afraid of."


"And it was then that I realized that being alone is nothing to be afraid of. Because I am never truly alone."


"The battle you face now, Princess, is going to be harder than climbing out of the tower. It's going to be getting the tower out of you."

Friday, October 07, 2005

For real this time!

Pt 3 - Encouter

By nightfall, the princess really wanted to go home. It was getting cold, and she didn't have a cloak or a shawl. Her feet were hurting - this was the most walking she'd done in years and she hadn't thought to change her shoes before leaving the tower. And it had started to rain.

With a sigh, the Princess took advantage of the rain and washed her bloody elbows as she walked, stumbled through the forest. In the distance, there was a light glowing in the growing darkness and she hoped it was a cottage or a cabin or something that would give her shelter.

It was a small cabin, she saw. She knocked on the door, and waited in the pouring rain. It never occured to her to wonder what type of person might live here.

Fortunately for her it was a little old woman [this time] who opened the door.

"My goodness! Get in out of the rain girl!" the old woman exclaimed, pulling her inside.

The princess' teeth was chattering too hard for her to answer right away. The old woman immediately set about caring for the cold princess. In minutes, the princes was sitting in front of the fire, in dry clothes, wrapped in a blanket and was having a hot bowl of soup pushed into her hands.

"So," the old woman said, sitting in the chair across from her. "You've finally decided to flee the tower."

The princess looked up, surprised. "You knew I was there?"

"Of course. I've been watching you sit at your window for years now. I've been waiting."

The princess was quiet.

"I suppose you're wondering why no one has tried to help you."

The princess nodded.

"You can't help one that doesn't want to be free."

"But I did!" she protested.

The old woman shook her head. "It wasn't until you actually climbed down the side that you decided you really wanted freedom. But it still calls you doesn't it? The tower, I mean."

The princess nodded in shame.

"It will get worse before it gets better," the old woman said.

The princess began to cry into her soup.

The old woman shook her head. "Ain't nothing to cry about, girl. Finish your soup and get to bed. I'll help you on your way in the morning."

"Why should I bother? If it's only going to get worse..."

"You giving up already?"


"Good. Now finish your soup."

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Pt 3 - into the forest

Lions and tigers and bears - - - oh my!

Monday, October 03, 2005

The Princess - PT 2

The flight down the side of the tower seemed to take forever. The Princess was unused to such activity and was constantly banging her knees and her elbows. The drop between the end of the bedsheet and the tree was greater than she'd thought, and she almost climbed back up.

But she didn't. She kicked herself away from the tower - she did that two more times before she let herself drop. It was only a couple of seconds, but the freefall felt wonderful to this sheltered Princess. Oh if she only had wings to fly, then none of this would have been a problem. Her arms snagged harshly against the branches and she knocked her knee again. No doubt she'd be wishing for bandaids by the time she got to the bottom of the tree.

This part of the flight went smoothly as she could remember tree climbing from the days before the Tower. At the bottom of the tree, fastidious creature that she was, she brushed the bark off her dress and wondered why she hadn't changed into pants before cllimbing out the window. Too late now.

She couldn't do anything about the few spots that were bleeding, but it wasn't too bad so she decided to let it go until she could find a creek or a well. Once she found water she would clean them.

Looking up, her heart sank. Before her lay nothing but trees. Gone were the mountains in the distance. Gone was the city skyline. She would have to go through the forest before anything else. And she had no idea how long it would take her. In a moment of doubt, she looked back up. But there was no going back - the space between the tree branches and the sheets was too great for going up.

Adjusting her dress one last time, the Princess squared her shoulders and marched off into the unknown.

more to come....

Saturday, October 01, 2005

October Sky

And not the movie either [though it's a good movie].

October Sky
by: the one and only me

The wind blows my hair as I look up
It's chill reminding me that autumn is here
Despite the sunshine that fills this October sky
That makes the blue sky of summer seem pale
The warmth of the sun is comforting
As it reflects off the peaks of towering clouds
Whose whiteness rests in stark contrast with the dark underneath
Pushing my hair back I can only stand in awe
And marvel at this beauty
That stands apart from the rest of time
In this moment I rest
Thinking neither of yesterday nor of tomorrow
Only of this eternal moment
As for me, time stands still

And to spoil it all for you - this was inspired by a sunshiney/cloudy day earlier this weak, before it actually turned to October....but I thought October Sky sounded better than a September sky. LOL.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Not your normal fairy tale

The Princess in the Tower
Part one:

The room was quite large. The floor was mainly covered with marble tile and when the Princess paced, there was a rhythmic clicking sound that reverberated off the high ceiling.

She should be happy - it was beautiful here, and she was well cared for. She ate the best foods, slept in a comfortable bed, and even had visitors everyday. Still, her heart was heavy. She could have anything she asked for here...except her freedom.

"It is for your own good," she had been told, and was still told on the occasions that she dared to ask for a chance to see the outside world. "It is dangerous out there. There is evil. Surely you are not smart enough to protect yourself."

And so she paced. On occassion, she would stop to stand at the window and stare out. In the distance she would see mountains...and cities...and farms... Unlike Rapunzel, her hair was short and she couldn't just toss it out the window. And there was no one at the bottom of her tower calling for her anyway.

Each day, her heart grew heavier as she stared out her window. How she wanted out. She was tired of looking...she wanted to touch the mountains, to travel them. She wanted to meet the people she could see tending the sheep and the cows.

In a moment of sheer insanity, or sanity, depending on how you look at these things, she tore up her bed sheets. Each into three peices and tied them together. Tightly. It wouldn't do to have them come undone halfway down.

The Princess tied the end to a curtain hook and tossed it out the window. She looked down and frowned. It wasn't long enough...but it did reach the top of a tall tree.

Oh - why not give it a try? At the very least, if she were to fall and die...she would die free.

To be continued.........

A great day

Having a great day so far...but then I slept in and so my day isn't that old!! I feel great though.

There is nothing going on right now.

We had a terrible storm blow through here yesterday morning while I was driving bus. I had one little girl tell me that she "saw thunder"...I couldn't find it in me to disagree with her. there were quite a few tree limbs down. You know the kind that blow off in these storms, small enough not to cause damage and big enough to be a nuisance if they fall in the road. I had to get out once and move a canvas tarp out of my way...I suppose I could have driven over it, but not knowing what was under it, I just couldn't do it. If I had just driven over it, there would have been something sharp that would slice something on my know how that goes!!!!

Isn't it amazing how things can change? We weren't supposed to have a meeting last night...but when I called one of the other lady's to ask if she wanted to get together anyway, I was told that we were going on just like normal. I was like, "Ok. Nobody told me." to which she says, "Well you don't have a phone." True enough, but every place that I hang does. The last I had spoken with the prayer leader, the meeting was cancelled [as she and 3/4 of the regular crew is out of town. She had said something to me about getting together with this other lady if we wanted to. Either there was a break down in communications some where, or I just plain missed something. If this other lady had wanted to get ahold of me, she could have. It's no that hard to find me.

ok. I'm going to go check my email again, and then do some research [[and maybe play the weekend game]].