Friday, March 30, 2007


For the past 3 weeks, I've had to work the FingerLakes Schedule...even one week of this knocks my sleep schedule for a lopp...three weeks absolutely wrought havoc. This is why I haven't posted for a week..I've been basically sleeping in my free time.

Well, I did read a Trek Trilogy. Crucible. McCoy's story of how his trip through the Guardian of forever was better than Spock's and Kirk's, in my opinion. {Kirk's story had too many alternate versions of himself---will the real Captain Kirk please step forward!}

But mostly I slept.

Yes, Kat, your hug helped :D Always does. I will admit that I am rather envious of you, and I hope that you can forgive me :) I had the strangest thing happen to me last night while at a friend's house. She had slipped into the bathroom, leaving me alone with her husband...and somehow we got on the subject of 'someday you'll understand when you have a family of your own." {Good thing he was too far away for me to hit!} And I told him that I doubted that would ever happen, but he remained hopeful for me. Even going so far as to say that he wouldn't trade the trials and tribulations of marriage and family for anything. This is the first married man I've EVER heard say that.

I also got some more one word descriptions of me from friends and family: ranging from special and creative to "crazychick". Amusing. My brother still insists that my name describes me. Maybe for him, it doesn't for me. Dork!!! :P

Such is life. Gearing up for another 40 hours...but at least I don't have to work the FingerLakes schedule this week - so far! May it please stay that way.

Also, my back no longer hurts bad enough to require darvocet. This is good. generic advil does the job well enough now, when I need it. Much thankful for this "little" miracle. Now if the deer will just stay outta my way!

Friday, March 23, 2007

Defining Me

Mood: Angry, depressed, in pain.

There is an email "game" that has been going around recently, asking the recipients to describe the sender with one word.

I am so glad that I don't have to depend on others to define me. Because so far, the only replies I've gotten have been "humorous" [which is great], "squirrel" and "Robin". Not sure how the last two are supposed to describe me. One is my name, one describes my writing. Which is not who I am. Yes, I am a writer, but I am not limited, not bound, to one subject to one genre to one character. My writing talents are like I am...limitless. In me there are stories ranging from humorous, to inane, to profound. In me, there are things, characteristics, that cannot be easily defined....hidden....sometimes even from me! I like to write Star Trek...yeah, I'm borrowing another man's characters and universe, but I can take those characters to places Gene Roddenberry never imagined. I like to write drama...characters dealing with pasts more horrific than is sometimes the only way I can deal with my own, a form of venting...of reconciling myself to a past that isn't rosy. I like to write story poems. I like to write sci-fi/fantasy...because there I am not limited to gravity...I can bend the rules {with in reason to my liking}...and then, bind my characters to those rules...and see if they deal with those rules any better than I deal with the ones in my life. I also like to ponder "what if" stories...though I've never tried to write one outside of Star Trek. Like, what if Hitler hadn't killed himself but went on to win the war [which has been done before] or better yet...what if He met Jesus and became a real Christian? What if? My writing abilities include a squirrel...but they are not limited there. I wish people could understand that there is more to me than those stories.

I wonder if anyone will reply to the game with the word "odd"? LOL

I'm also selfish. I say this, because my second thought, after "Great!" when an online friend told me she was engaged to be married in September, was "Lord, where's mine?" But I'll probably never be married. Too fat, too selfish and self-centered, too lazy, too lazy, spends too much, too loud, too depressed too often, chronic back pain, chronic insanity. And I'm tired of people telling me that "The Lord has someone special for you" or "He's out there, just be patient". The truth is, there is no one. Destined to be alone and childless. Expected to be comforted by the line that "Jesus is your husband" ALWAYS said by married people---who have perhaps forgotten what it is like to be single and alone. While no marriage is perfect, never will be, it is still something to be desired...and I hate being made to feel like there is something wrong with me because I want it. "You're so blessed to be one to fight with, free to go and do whatever you want, quiet times." Yet does not the bible say otherwise? People are idiots and they don't think before they speak. I've heard the same old lines about a husband for years...WHERE IS HE? This is one prayer that I think God will never answer with a "yes, here he is."

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Well, I'm feeling a little better. Since I fell Sunday morning, and it turned into a "darvocet" kind of pain, I decided to bite the bullet and go see my chiropractor. Long over due apparently, cuz he's there poking around and says, "Is there any part that doesn't hurt?" My answer: "Not really." So, I've been adjusted from one end to the other and feel a little better.

Survived working FingerLakes with the "Daily Bitch". I can call her that becuz she calls herself that and is proud of the title. Twit.

Have the next two nights off and I'm gonna relax!

Sunday, March 11, 2007


I'm feeling I'm going home and going to bed. Just what you always wanted to know, I'm sure.

Friday, March 09, 2007



All it took was a new battery, which Paige bought for me and Diana helped me put it in. And it started right up!!!!

I am SO SO SO happy right now!!!!!

I am so blessed sometimes, and don't even realize it...when I think of how many people who helped me get back and forth to work during this time, some family, some friends...of the guy at work who took the time to jump start it the other morning even though it was so COLD and it was hurting his fingers to be out in it...AND --- the God who sped up the post service so I could get my refund back quick...the God who let me see a falling star last night, a kiss from heaven.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Did this...laughed so hard...just had to post it!!! Even did BOTH names!!!!

robin --


An alien

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at

Ciera --


A person of questionable sanity who starts their own cult

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at

$700 Later

.............and my car won't start.

I could just cry.

Paige is taking me to Walmart tonight to buy a car battery, since mine is deader than dead. Will let you all know how that works out.

I just want my car back...I want to be able to come and go as I please. :(

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

In my hand

The check is no longer in the mail----it is in my hand!!!!!!!!!!

Wow---that really was was mailed Friday and I had it in the mail on Monday????????? That never happens!!!!!

Maybe God sped the post office up a little bit?????? Just for me?????? :D

Friday, March 02, 2007

So Far, So Good

So far so good.

I was given a sum of money a little while ago that was almost a months since the IRS website "where's my refund?" said that my refund was mailed today..I used that money towards my rent.

So I don't have to move.

And when my refund comes---that along with what I'll have from my paychecks --- I'll be able to get my car back!

Sigh-----the check is in the mail!!!!!

we're making a little headway on the budget too so that I can prevent this from happening again!

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Here's Praying...

I might not have to move. Housing Authority told me today that if I could come up with a months rent by tomorrow...and submit a written payment plan...then the eviction process would stop. this would be good because the spot at Mom's didn't get cleaned out in time [she had a lot of stuff in that room].

AND if my income tax return comes...then I'll be able to get my car back too.

please Jesus...please???

alms for the poor anyone...LOL...I'll keep you all updated. Diana and I have been going over my finances and we'll probably have me on a budget before all is said and done!