Monday, July 30, 2007

2 Hours

PennDot's such a trip! I waited 2 hours to get out of there! I arrived shortly before 8:30 - which is an hour and a half before the DOT part actually opens, and just minutes before they unlock the building...but I was 1 of about 20 people already waiting for them, so they were nice enought to open early. There was a line out in the parking lot when I got there and I thought, 'yep, it's gonna be awhile'. I didn't get much sleep that day, but I've recovered. My pic wasn't too bad, but I was so tired by the time it was took that I just ok'd the first one - I figured, "I'm so tired, that this is just as good as it's gonna get!"

Tomorrow is my birthday - and I have to work! :( But we're having a little picnic tonight to make up for it! There's gonna be cake! :D

I am grieved beyond words for my friend who is having an affair. The man is not good, his beliefs run counter to Christianity and he actually told me via email that I would either have to accept her "free will" choices or walk away. The nerve of that asshole!!! And Diana's just drinking up whatever bullshit he's feeding her! Was I ever this bad with Steve??? God, I hope not! I am very worried for much so that I don't have the words.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


So, here I sit --- 7:30AM...when I should be sleeping, but am instead waiting for the DMV to open up so that I can renew my drivers license. Sigh. Why can't the dayshifters cooperate with the nightshifters a little...ya know...stay open a little later...or open up sooner...or just plain have longer hours all togehter...??? And when it comes to good old PennDOT...why can't they be open more than one day a week in the same spot? Why do I have to wait until Thursday for them to be open in a locale near me? I mean, it's either that or drive forever to get to one that's open on another day....ok, that's a little melodramatic, but hey, that's me!

I guess I'd best let y'all start leaving comments again...that way, when it's really my birthday next week, you can leave me b-day greetings...or you can ignore me like they do at work...that'll be ok too.

I looked out mom's window a litle while ago, and saw a goodsized bunch of cornflowers opening up to the rising sun. So I thought I'd post a couple pictures I found online. They are just soooo pretty. I remember one morning years ago...I was out walking the dogs or some such nonsense, and we live on this dirt road right? Well, both sides were lined with cornflowers...creating this blue path...the far away view was amazing, because you couldn't see the individual flowers, just the blurry blue. It was amazing! I so wish I had a picture of that!
I want to move. No real reason other than that I am bored with where I am at. There's never anything to do. No where close to go to do anything, except maybe the mall in Horseheads...but one can only window shop for so long! I want a place where there are more stores open 24-7 other than the local convenience Pump-n-Pantry, whose pizza is somewhat lacking, I might add! I want a place where there are movies played more often. And to be honest, I just want to go someplace different, see different people, experience culture shock!!!
Ok...the DMV opens in 45 minutes, so by the time it takes me to finish the computer stuff...wash my face and brush my should be time to go. No matter what I do, the pic is going to be bad...I have to spend how much for a bad pic?!?! That is so unfair!
ttyl! :D

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Mail Call

I ought to heck my mailbox more often...I might find good news! Nothing so sweet as a check, but I learned that I rehabilitated an old student loan. This is good. My payments will now be lower, if I wanted to I could get more student loans, and this will go on my credit rating and make it look better..well, a little better at any rate!

I think I hear a mouse. I hope it's a mouse and not that squirrel that got into mom's trailer a few weeks ago!! I hope he goes away.

I was back on nights tonight! Finally! I know this seems odd...but I like being on nights. I'm a night person, so this makes sense. True, it has its hardly ever getting to see the sun. Having to either stay up late or get up early to go to places like the bank, doctors etc... But at this place, I like the pace of nightshift better...there is more going on, and it's faster. And I like most of the people better...mostly! I'm afraid they're going to try to transfer me to days that they can put Christinia in the plateroom on nights...cuz she's giving up the supervisorposition and is threatening to quit....and she told me long ago that she loved working in the plateroom. I'm not sure what they'd do with the girl on days....or where they'd put me...but it is a thought that has crossed through my mind. I don't want to!!! I hope they don't. Yet - not my will, but God's be done...right??? Oh, I still don't want one say a word and maybe they won't think of it!!!!

OK. I'm off. Have to find a bite to eat before going to the bank and then going to bed.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


I'm doing better where near as tired and cranky!! I'm still going to turn comments off. I need to write for just me right now. I hope that makes sense.

I worked from 9:30 to 6:30 today...all during the daytime!! It is very odd on dayshift...mostly cuz I'm so used to nights. I mean, I've been there for over a year now! The pace is so different...slower...though there are small spurts of busyness. Nights is much faster paced...and I can keep ahead of the press better.

Deb is nice. She's the lady training me. She smokes, so sometimes she has that smokers smell...but that'd be my only "complaint". She has these loooong fake fingernails...they curve at the ends...and they really rather fascinate me [they grossed out the guy before me!!! LOL]

I'm still really bothered by my cheating friend. She has a husband...but I guess he has cheated on her so it's all ok! Still, she threw away her Sunday school class, and all her other ministries in church, for this other man...who may or may not be a Christian. I actually beat her up with a pillow the other day...going on about how it wasn't fair that she was cheating when I couldn't even get a date!!! She was rather amused by it.

Enough for now. Off in search of food and friends [if they're home!!!]

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Cranky Butt

I am sooo cranky right now....

First of all, I have to work days for a few days to have some training from the dayshift supervisor. So I'm overtired right now, which alwyas makes me cranky. I'm gonig to go home soon, as soon as my laundry is done, and go to sleep, cuz I have to be at work at 9:30 in the morning...ew...

Secondly, how much rejection can a girl take in one week? I mean, really! I decided to ask England to just come over here and marry me and take me home with him. He said no. The ocean is just too big of an obstacle for him to consider. I can't really blame him. But damn, that hurt. So...feeling that door firmly shut - as he is a stubborn man - I gather the courage to ask out my favorite pressman. He said no. !!!!!!! Men are dumb.

But then...who am I to think that anyone is going to want "Steve's sloppy seconds"? Such a fool I've been.

Unwanted. Undesirable

My married friend gets more dates than I do....and I don't mean with her husband.



comments are disable for a until I decide to open it back up, you'll have to email me if you want to say something to me :D

Monday, July 09, 2007

For some reason I can't put up titles on Diana's computer. Strange. Is anyone else having this problem?

I guess I must have complained a lot about Jean-Luc being gone....most of his comments he left upon returning were just to say that he was back!

I must admit to being a little embarrassed...but then..why should I be?!?!

Still not much going on...but at least Diana's home tonight!!! LOL

Not much going on here...hanging at Diana's...even though she's not here. She lets me do that...not sure what she's doing or where...but I couldn't go along...she said something about a surprise...not sure if she meant for me or not...she didn't specify. But my birthday is coming up at the end of this month.

Sigh. 31 on the 31st. It's supposed to be your "golden birthday" when you turn the age of they day of your birthday...follow that? It doesn't feel very golden. My birthday's haven't been very happy recently...the thought of growing older ... without someone to share those years with ... is a little, ok, a lot depressing for me. Especially since I'd like to have children with that someone...whoever my imaginary husband may be. And each year that passes with no ring on my finger...well...I can't help but think that before too long, I'm going to be too old to have babies. Women only have so long...and when they've never had children, they can go through an early "change of life"...I've two sisters that happened to. One is single...the other is more or less happily married. Whether or not they ever wanted differently, I don't know. Sad to say I don't know those sisters very well.

Children is no surprise to my readers to know that I am lonely, wanting a special someone to share my life with. Each day that passes...makes me wonder if I am one that will never know marriage. I know that a lot of my reasons for wanting a husband are selfish...wanting to feel loved...honestly, wanting sex {blushing!}...but I know that not all my reasons are selfish. I want to be there for that much as I want him to be there for me. I want to cheer him on...encourage him...pleasure him...make him happy.

ok. Enough whining. For this post.

In other news: still not much going on. My friend Burgandy at work is pregnant...and she is happily over the abortion stage. I'm still not sure if she's going to keep it, because she has been considering adopting it out, but time will tell. I think she'll make a good mother, just because she's been so responsible about considering all her options - although if she had been responsible about birth control, she wouldn't have this decision to make! LOL! Too bad the father isn't talking to her right now, but then the relationship was strained even before this. The one pressman at work...has Mono! The one I have a tiny crush on - even though he is no Jean-Luc. I was even asked one night if I had been kissing him [Kirk] to which I replied "NO!....Why?" is a conversation that shouldn't have happened...but since another supervisor was also lax about his medical condition and just announced it one night....I guess it doesn't really matter.

How do you move on when your heart belongs to someone else? I was foolish last summer, thinking the grass was greener on this side of the ocean. I made so many mistakes...and I ruined that chance for happiness and such. I regret that more than words can say. And I am suddenly glad the Jean-Luc isn't home yet to read this...maybe he'll miss these lines and not comment. Sometimes, it is worse when he comments, because he's so apologetic...even though I'm the one that messed up. If I could change the past...that is one thing that I would have changed. But the past can't be changed, can it?

I have no money for gas. Nada. And have to be back at work Tuesday night. I spent my last $20 to spoil mother. That flag cake. And then she sits there on the phone that front of me...whining about how she had to spend the 4th alone---uhm...hello?!?! you were supposed to come to my place?!?!?! I try not to get angry about that...but I am. You can use the rainy day as an excuse...and not feeling good...but I wasn't feeling good either [sore throat for the past week] and it was just as rainy at my place....I waited and waited and she never showed...I had to go out and use a friend's phone to find out she wasn't coming. And now I have no gas money. Crap. But on the bright side...I am also caught up on rent. Until the end of the month at least!

ttyl :D

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Happy 4th

Ok, so I'm a day late...and probably a dollar short too! LOL!

Didn't do much for the 4th...Mom bailed on me Wednesday so I've had to come to her place on the 5th. We're watching The Polar Express while having our patriotic flag cake...which is pound cake with strawberries and blueberries covered with cool whip and a flag design made out of the remaining berries. It's very good.

Did survive being bored and lonesome...this time!!!

I miss Jean-Luc. :(

Sunday, July 01, 2007



Dinah left for church without me...Paige is outa town...Mom's not home...Kirk isn't feel well...Jean-Luc's not home...and I'm bored...bored...bored...

I guess, I'm gonna go work on my trek story.