Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

No Gas

I walked into mom's shortly after 3a.m this morning and was hit with the smell of gas. Which upon investigation we discovered that she had run out of fuel. No heat, no stove. Liston was supposed to be paying the monthy gas bill as his rent, but well...wasn't. He found some temporary tanks to bide us over until we can come up with the $600 we need to make a dent in the past due bill. And I bought some electric heaters. So. It has been a rough day. Yelling, depression. But as I was out driving with other as we were running some errands...The moon was shining through the clouds so prettily...like, in a way I've never seen before...moonrays breaking through...wow. I said to Mom...God's speaking to us right now, saying that He loves us and even though we don't see the end of this situation, He does. The moon broke through on several occasions, brightly lighting our way. At one point I said to Mom, "Do you trust me?" She answered by repeating my question back and so I just rolled my eyes and did what I wanted...I turned the headlights to the van off [on a straight stretch] and drove only by moonlight. Wow. It was a nice moment at the end of a very long and rough day.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Nothing New

I don't have anything new and exciting to post today. I got in trouble for losing my temper and yelling back at Christina...that she yelled at me first, three times, is immatieral as Jerry expects me to be the adult. How sad is that? Why do I always have to get stuck being the grown up in a situation? It is so not fair. Maybe I'll get to relax and be more carefree in heaven? Apparently, both Christina and I are saying the same thing...that we don't have a problem with the other, that the other has a problem with us. So, I'm thinking that somewhere a long the lines there has been a misunderstanding. Maybe. And of course, I'm the one that has to be the fricking adult about it. Since I'm better at writing, I've written her a letter detailing what has made me think she has a problem with me. Giving it to Jerry to read first; not that he really cares about anything I've written it it, but to show that I'm following his advice to be the adult. Either way, it will either make things worse or better...I know not. Sometimes life just sucks.

The humorous part is, the actual phrase Jerry used was "be the bigger person" and smart ass that I am, I replied, "I hope you're not referring to my size." He did laugh, so it wasn't a complete waste.

off to do something somewhere...not that I know what or where.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Christmas Blues

Christina was supposed to get in trouble for the note she left...since she was waaaaaaaaay out of her realm of authority. Whether she did or not, I haven't heard.

We've all kind of got the Christmas blues at work. For some reason, they've decided to print a paper on Christmas and New Years. That means we don't get the Eve's off. This is new...we don't usually put out papers on those days unless they fall on a Sunday. Now Dayshift will still get Christmas and New Years day off...but nightshift is basically being screwed over. I think we are having a meeting about it this Saturday night. Guaranteed to be interesting.

Well, I can't stay long. I have to get some sleep because I'm going out with Mom to her doc's appointment later and tonight is one of my long nights [9 hours]. So, have a good one :D

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Ripped Apart

For crying out loud!!!!

I am so tired of Christina. I was ripped apart by her at work last night...before I had even clocked in...before she was even there! She left me a nasty note from the last night she filled in for my position, saying this that and the other hadn't been right about the programs I had set up. Some of it is probably true, because I remember having a really hard time setting that particular day up. Whether I set it up Friday night waiting for the last sports page, or Saturday night, I was tired and didn't feel good and so you'd think she'd cut me a break....but nooo, she bites first and never bothers to ask questions. And she said not to set them up anymore because of it. Whoa nelly...she's not my supervisor! She has no authority to say such a thing! So, I took it to Deb and said, "You know, something probably was messed up because I wasn't feeling good and probably not paying as close of attention as I should. But I don't think it's her place to correct me like this." She said she'd look into it.

It might have gotten her in trouble. Rob the supervisor said something about it, and something's going down in the morning.

She didn't even address the note to me. I'm so tired of being addressed as "someone" or "somebody" or "whoever"....while being called "somebody" is better than being called "nobody"...it's still disrepectful. I have a name...use it!!! Name's are important, part of our identity. And I'm tired of having that part of my identity stripped from me. I suppose it's just the icing on the cake because she's been treating me crappy for weeks now, ever since the night that I called in late because of being in the ER with mom. Like I did that on purpose just to make her life miserable!!!

On a nicer note, I didn't get to talk much with my favorite pressman Kirk, but when I did, I did get a smile from him...and I so like his smile! :D I might have more time to talk with him tomorrow. Just the thought makes me smile some more.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Name Change

I have finally changed the name of my blog. I've been meaning to ever since I came back from the Ohio conference, because I didn't feel like 'prodigal saint' fit this site anymore...or me I guess. I chose the title I did because it's what I named the little series of "squirrel stories" I wrote for my church a few years back. The squirrel really kind of stole the stories, even though it was never about him but my view of reality...but I have to admit, the squirrel was funny. So, since this blog in particular is about my particular and peculiar reality, as skewed as it often is, I think it fits. I know that I see the world differently, and that this isn't always a bad thing. There you have it.

Much to the disaapointment of the squirrel fans, there will be no squirrel stories forthcoming. See, if people really heard what I was saying in those stories, they'd know that the squirrel was just the comic relief because I was really sharing my view of the church with them. And to be honest, it wasn't always nice. Because they weren't always nice. I stopped writing them because I felt I was becoming too...vicious? mean? honest?...in my potrayal of the real-life characters I was using. They never seemed to notice or care, but I did. Which is one of the reasons why I've never been able to write anymore. Not to mention I felt stereotyped by my church as to what I was able to write. And there just aren't any of those stories flowing...I've had a few ideas...but there's been no flow. Anyone who's a writer knows what I'm talking about. Besides, I don't go there anymore...so I'm lacking a canvas as well. Seems rather pointless don't you think? Someone would leave the church and suddenly a story I had written just months before was no obsolete because the player was gone. If it's meant to be, more stories will come, but I'm not stressing because these particular ones aren't, and that's ok. I think they were meant for a certain time and that time has passed. If I'm wrong, God will have to show me how to put a new twist on things and new players etc...I'm not worried about it.

How I spent my days off...

It's truly spellbinding, how I've spent my two days off. Ok, not really, but I really wish it had been.

Ok. Sunday: got off work at 3:30...went home, read just a little bit and was soon out...for most of the entire day. I did go to the library in the evening, but I even went to bed early that night.

So. Monday: Up way too early. Finished reading Dominion by Randy Alcorn. Chatted with a friend. Ran some errands. Got Mom's van checked out, learned that it was a bad tire...which of course he didn't even have and he had to order them [2] and was told to drive it as little as possible. Didn't quite make that, and the tire went flat [finally?] while I was still out running errands. Couldn't find Liston to come help, so I had to go beg some help off of Kost tires. They changed the tire and put on the spare and didn't even charge me for it.

Am now at Mom's. Again. Until who knows when.

Sigh.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

I am so bad...

Ok, maybe not bad. Insecure? Yeah. Naughty? Maybe.

One of Christina's favorite lines for about how 'well' she gets along with the guys at work is that she's 'just one of the guys'. Maybe she ought to ask the guys. The one I asked, who is a sterotypical horny male, replied 'no, I think she's an idiot.' There was no hesitation on his part, and just a little hostility. This really rather enforces my notion that Chris is kidding herself when she says this. I always thought that when a girl was 'just one of the guys' that there was no sexual tension because they just don't see her as a girl [if I'm wrong, forgive my naivity] and there is no mistaking the sexual tension that is at work when she is there. I don't think she gets on as well with the guys as she thinks she does. I've seen the looks on their faces when she forces [yes, forces] a hug from one of them.

Twit.

Anyway, enough about work. I finally finished my Trek story over at [a href="http://fictionnight.blogspot.com/"]My Fiction[/a] and hope to be starting a new soon. Cool beans! Off for home and some sleep!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Isolation

I don't know what it is exactly, but I felt so isolated at work. I can only imagine what sort of gossip I've missed about myself the past two nights I was off. I know I had griped to Tempy about how Christina had been hugging and kissing on Kirk [his cheek] and Tempy is as prone to gossip as Christina is, so wether she said something to the other, I don't know. Not that it matters, I have no claim on Kirk, just a crush. And it's not like Chris is talking to me yet either. Oh, she talked to me a little Saturday night when we were doing the Sunday paper, but that's only because she had no one else to talk to. Which is the only time she ever does talk to me...when I'm her last choice. Which I've known probably for about a year now. It's no big loss, really. All she ever talks about is who she's been laying with [and then wonders why we all think she's a whore] or who she hates this week [there's a cycle to it, believe it or not]. I try not to hate her, I really do. But I know that I come awful close sometiems. This past week especially. I am smart enough to know that some of it is jealousy...I mean, she has this freedom [real or imagined? I don't know] to well...touch Kirk...while I am terrified to touch him. I mean, we are in the work place. Tempy can argue all she wants about "how professional can you expect night shift to be?" but let's be honest...we can be a little more professional than what we are. I'd love to give Kirk a peck on the cheek [or somewhere else], or give him a hug [hey, there was that one night I somehow ended up with my breasts pressed into his back]. But I sometimes suffocate under the thought...what if he's just being nice to me...and doesn't like me that much at all. Maybe I ought to find the courage to do as Rob suggests and...just ask him.

I walked through the office tonight, on my way out for the night...and no one even noticed. They were so deep in their conversation, that I might as well not been there. But I spent almost 15 minutes talking with Eddie so I guess that made up for it. And Carl said "hi" to me earlier in the night, and I later told him how my car won't back up now...well, it can, but with a lot of protest from the brakes. But other than that, and a few words from Tina as she was in and out, I worked mostly in silence last night.

Alright. Enough whining. I'm going home to have a glass of milk and see if I have a parking spot waiting for me.

Monday, December 03, 2007

This and that

Mom had her funky x-ray this morning. She had the time wrong so we were an hour early. Dad would have rolled over in his grave to know taht we were taht early...well, early for anything. But they were able to bump her up so she got in earlier. They emptied her bladder wtih a catheter and then filled her baldder with dye and ask her to pee on command and x-ray it!

I guess I've ticked Fluke off. I wrote a story from his viewpoint for Jean-Luc's Christmas story week and I just got an email from him saying he liked the story but not that I gave it to Jean-Luc. Who posted it btw. Today. Great. It's not like he blogs anymore. Oh well. I hope it all works out.

It's snowing again. :( Not sure if I'll be able to go home tonight or if I'm stranded at Mom's again. I hate this time of year.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Long And Viscious

What a long and viscious week it has been! In 3 days I worked 30 hours...then 9 more last night and looking forward to another 8 hours tonight. No wonder I am tired! The 30 hours goes on the end of last payperiod, the 17 is the beginning of the new. But no matter how you look at it...it's a lot of working!

Christina is still not talking to me...I figure she must still be pissed at me b/c of the night I called in late when I was in the ER with my Mom. She was asked to come in early that night to fill in for me...it's not like she had to say yes. No doubt she feels put upon...having to do all the work while the rest of us [me] just goofs off. Whatever.

Kirk is so funny. The other night, as I'm getting mailbags ready [which I shouldn't have to do anymore, but ya know!] and Kirk is walking through the mailroom after parking the forklift...and we both kind of look at each other...and he stops, like he's thinking about something, then he starts walking my way, so I walk his way...and he asks me..."Homelife and Classifieds done?" Would I be in the mailroom if I didn't have my plateroom work done? So I say to him, "No, I'm saving them for later." He was mildly amused, and said something about running them next, so I asked him if he wanted me to bring them out for him and he said "Yes." So I did :) He has such a nice smile! I asked Carl what he thought about it...was it just Kirk looking for an opportunity to talk to me [because it really was a 'boneheaded question] and Carl said 'Yep, you're not imagining a thing.' Probably the highlight of the entire week.