Window Into My Reality

Well, I've survived another birthday. It was a wretched day as well that started out with me realizing that we were out of brake fluid again - therefore no brakes...and me standing in the pouring rain in the lower parking lot of the trailor court filling it back up. And still almost wrecking on the way to work, again. And it didn't get any better from there. But...if any of that flour that Mom has stockpiled is any good, I'm gonna bake this weekend..............................I'll be sure to bake myself a cake!

I feel so lonely right now. I go to work with the same people night after night. None of them know me really. Not who I really am. Oh, they all like me, and are amused at some of my antics. They especially like it when I give myself a sugar high. But no one ever wants to look beneath the surface of the facade I give them. I have to give them that facade, because if there is anything that I learned from my time at First Baptist is that no one wants to see beyond it...such nakedness frightens people. I suppose that I am faced with the same facades in others. Christina brags about how she is only really open with a few people. That came from a conversation we had about why she was being nasty to me. I wasn't asking her to be "open" with me...as I can see far deeper into her than she would probably like...I was just asking that she treat me decently! Anyway. Some people I would be interested in getting to know better, others I already know too well. I live with the same peopl...