Friday, May 05, 2006


I forgot to tell you all the results of my meeting last Friday with Pastors about the guy who wanted to "share his abundance".

I got in trouble for 'jumping to conclusions', for not being 'nice' to a "brother in Christ". There were also thinly veiled accusations regarding my friend, which I was stupid enough to share with her, because she's the only one I've been to talk to about stuff...though it is no secret that Pastors are not her biggest fans right now. So now she's pointing the finger at me, and she's not appreciating my "What did I do?" response.

I have to walk away. And she's going to think that it proves her right.

What will she do when the gossip about her doesn't stop? Who will she blame then? Perhaps she ought to stop feeding the monster of gossip - maybe then it would stop biting her.

But what do I know? I'm just the dumbass woman she's been mentoring for over two years. I get smacked down everytime I disagree with her. Smack a puppy long enough and it'll run away, or turn viscious. Right now I'm opting for running away, although Cliff and England have both been talking me down from my most drastic measures.

And I have further pissed her off, if she's bothering to read any of my "arguementative manipulative" emails, by telling her that she gets what she sows into people...and that she's exacting revenge on the church by throwing out BS to me and others in an attempt to teach us all a lesson on gossip. She's not God, she doesn't have to set up life lessons for me and the rest of us at this disfunctional church, we can foul up all on our own, thank you very much.

Perhaps I am warped and rebellious and wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.


Oh yes! Happy Cinco de Mayo!


Jean-Luc Picard said...

She can't assume she's right all of the time, Ciera, by shouting at you everytime you disagree with her. She should respect your opinion and not talk you down. We both know the truth.

Ciera said...

Yeah - but she does. She's only ever once admitted that she was less than perfect in something she said to me...but then, like the time Pastor truly yelled at me, she never said she was sorry or Pastor she justified it. And I'm expected to forgive anyways.

Stranger in a Strange Land said...

Mimi (M.C.)and I left a church because of dysfunction. The pastor (a good one) left for a different ministry. The interim pastor chosen was the father of the deacon who controlled things behind the scenes. The interim pastor was such a bad preacher- unbiblical sermons due to no scholarship whatsoever. It seemed like a coup by this one family. I couldn't tolerate the situation and had no power to change it, so we left. They have a new preacher now, so maybe we'll go back. It's a sick feeling to have such problems in the one place you should feel safe and secure.

Ciera said...

Hey Stranger! LOVE the Larry the Cucumber photo!!! I'm begining to believe that there is no such thing as a safe place. that might just be cynicism talking, but it's how I feel right now.

Paige said...

You can not reason with people who can not reason. They can not see any other side. It may be best if you just take it as a lesson learned & walk away.
I still say you were right in the creepy feeling you had. IF he was that great of a "brother" he would not blame you nor hold it against you for feeling that way. Hang tight and put it in God's hands, He will fix all.

Paige said...

One more thing, why are these people yelling at you? Teachers, teach with love, understanding & kindness. Thats my dime for today

M. C. Pearson said...

Well, you heard my stranger hubby tell you what we went through. All I can say is that God is our refuge and our strength. He is the only one who is completely trustworthy. We as humans will never be perfect. So, in a way, I share your cynacism.

I hope it all works out for you. You have such a kind and tender heart. God Bless.