Saturday, June 20, 2009

Disturbed

I am disturbed. Upset. Out of sorts.

Grossed right out.

I try not to post twice a day, because that just seems too much to me. But I have to talk to someone now. Even though you can't talk back. I have to vent.

I just chatted with a cousin of mine. BLOOD RELATION cousin. No steps, no halfs, no inbetweens. And I'm pretty sure he was coming onto me. He says he was joking....two paragraphs after saying how he would have done me at Easter time...and later telling me how he wished we'd had the chance to fool around when we were younger.

Ok, I did a lot of naughty things when I was younger [read - a kid still] that I regret. But I've gotten over it. I've laid it all out to the Lord, I know He's forgiven me, and it no longer haunts me like it used to. Like Justin says "You were young. So what."

But, anything naughty between me and this cousin would NOT be on my conscience because he's the one that's older. And unfortunately, whatever happened in the trailor - I don't remember it in the detail that he does, thank God - is still on his mind. And for some reason he felt the need to tell me about it. I will never tell him this, but I feel so dirty right now. I even mentioned Justin a time or two {uhm, yeah cousin about that - I have a man already}...and I swear at least once he was trying to oneup Justin and try to prove that he'd be better in bed - thank God this was all over the internet and nothing happened in person. I'm sorry he's having problems with his cheating wife, and that ever since his vasectomy he's ultra-horny, but that's the it of it! There's nothing I can about it or ever will.

Yes, I had crushes on my cousins when I was growing up. I was young - and my cousins were the only boys that really ever played with me. Of course, they had to because they were my cousins. lol!

Still, I am disturbed. I'll get over it and I'm feeling a little better already. Sort of. I mean, I almost feel like there is something wrong with me - I've had 2 blood relations come onto me in the past year. EEEEEEWWWWW.

I'm going to get off of here and go read my book.

1 comment:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Don't worry yourself about it. He was definately coming on, but just 'testing the water' to see what your reaction would be. It's easy for him just to say he was joking after you turn him down. You've done nothing wrong here.