Window Into My Reality

Still alive and kicking, I promise. Been busy working hard for too little money and respect, aren't we all? lol! Justin just gave his 2 weeks notice at the paper, he's switching jobs. I'm trying to do the same. If I can, I'd love to get into the Practical Nursing Program at a nearby school. Ok, I've got to get back to work now.

A few weeks ago, Justin and I were given free tickets to a hockey game. It was very cool and fun, the first for either one of us. Here are some thoughts I 've had since then. The last church that I went to, the praise and worship leader was a good one for encouraging the congregation to get hyped up during worship by saying loosely - How many times do we hoot and holler and get excited for or favorite team, but we can't even raise our hands in worship? I've been guilty of saying the same thing. And I think it's time we rethink this idea. It is very easy to go to a sporting event and get swept up in the excitement of the game. The rest of the people know all the rules and what is going on, and that kind of true excitement is contagious. The same could be true of worship. This could be good or bad, depending. The hockey game that I went to was enjoyable. I had never been to a live sporting event before, so that right there was exciting. Neither Justin or I are very knowle...

First and foremost...Yes, I am still alive. I'm waiting for the spaghetti to get done so that I can go to bed. I have to be back into work at 9...even though I worked until 10p tonight. It's not "life or death" work accorcding to the one supervisor...but the other one seems to disagree. The job must get done...even if I keel over in the process apparently. They just send me one job after the other and expect it all to get done and have a cow if it's not. If I weren't going back to nights, I do think I'd walk away. We started going from Computer To Plate recently, so it ought to be easier to get crap done. And I also get to go back to nights...eventually. 'Some time' after Thanksgiving is what I've been told. Christmas might come sooner. It'll be nice to be on a closer schedule with Justin. Sometimes I feel like all we get to do is say "Hi" and "Bye" to each other. That's middle of the week, but time on the...

And may it never happen again. I have loosened up somewhat the past several years. Still high anxiety most of the time, but I've lost some of my "I can't be a Christian and do this or that..." mentality. Some would say that I've backslidden...to some degree, yes....but largely no. My spiritual state is just no longer as "public" as it used to be. If anything I've "stepped back" to re-evaluate some of my beliefs. The core of those beliefs remain unchanged. Anyway, I started drinking alcohol about 3 years ago. I used to shun the stuff because I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic. I decided I was tired living in fear of what "might happen". I know when to stop drinking...because I refuse to become so impaired that I can't control my actions. I don't mind if Justin drinks, so long as he never scares me or breaks anything, or pees my bed again [what a morning that was!]...those aren't die hard rules, because I'm well ...

I don't care what anyone says - just because I live in a trailer, in a trailer park, does NOT make me trailer trash. Sad to say, you can find "trailer trash" in some of the most expensive mansions. The world needs to stop looking at the superficial. The outside trappings. What a person looks like....what they wear...how they sound even....where they live...what their abode looks like. So this trailer isn't going to be much help if a tornado sweeps through...what house is? Seriously. No I don't have a storm shelter...but while we've had tornadoes here before, they're not that often. I was a teen living with my parents the last time this town had one. And that was during the day - I'd be at work...poor Justin would be home and in bed. He'd probably be out in the storm, the goofball...I wouldn't put it past him to try to ride the tornado...oh, who was that? Pecos Bill? I don't remember that tall tale. If a storm were to come at nig...

Yes Jean-Luc, The Visitation is a favorite book of mine. While it is fiction and not Gospel...there's a lot of Gospel truth in the book. The scene: a hardware store, a few days after the angel sitings have started and the crucifix started weeping. The players: Travis Jordan and the owner, Matt Kiley. Matt was a Vietnam vet who came home paralyzed. Of course, people were urging him to go down to the Catholic church to touch the crucifix to be healed of his disability. Matt's a little disgruntled with it all. "Like all I have to do is look up at that crucifix and believe, and that'll do it." A little later on, he says to Trav - "Funny. I made some friends at the VA hospital, I've met some other folks in wheelchairs, and we got along fine. They never told me to go down and look at some crucifix or wash in some special kind of water or say some kind of magic prayer words. It's always the walkers who know what you need." Now - do not get me wrong. I b...

I'm presently reading The Visitation by Frank Peretti. Again. I've lost count of how many times I've read this book over the years since I bought it. Had to have been...yeah, not sure. It was released in 1999, but I know I didn't get it until it had been out a while. Overall I'm a fan of Peretti's writing...although there have been a couple I got so into that I couldn't go to sleep with the lights out afterwards! This one isn't one of those, although I'm definitely into the book. Each time I read it, I discover something new....understand bits and pieces better. I've been putting this reading off for a while. Can't really explain why. My eye had fallen on it a few times since unpacking my books at the beginning of June...but no, I had to read three other series first [for the curious: Firebird Trilogy, Prairie Winds Trilogy, Legends of the Guardian-King series] But when I was placing the last book on the shelf, I went ahead and grabbed Visi...