God, what were You thinking when You created me? And what do You think now, as You look upon my life? Have I lived up to Your expectations, the good and the bad? Have I disappointed You at all? I know I have disappointed others.
As I set myself up for disappointment...do You hold your breath at all...getting ready to swoop in to hold me should it come...do you smile knowing that it isn't coming?
Those who pray, please pray. My bestest friend told me today that her husband would like to see her cut off 4 friendships...one of which would be me. And...I haven't an arguement in the world, no defense, and I know that crying and pleading will do no good. So I am typing an email even now to say, "Ok. Just give me the word."
It will hurt. A lot. Just the threat of the ax over my heart brings tears that I can't shed.
I hope that my reaction will be mature enough that it will persuade him to let me stay.
I expect to be told to go away.