Friday, August 24, 2007

Behind the Title

So...I'm looking in the back of "Chasing Fireflies" at the list of questions for Reading Group discussions {{{wouldn't that be so interesting?}}} and one of the questions was: "What do you think is the signifigance of the title, 'Chasing Butterflies'?" The funny thing is, I already had this question answered and written up for my next post! That ought to show how much this book impacted me, as I had this post and the last post already written up {I didn't get much sleep that morning!} I'm actually thinking of doing another one; we'll see. Anyway. here it is -

Everyone searches for meaning, a desire to know that they have purpose...that they were born for a reason, a need to know that they aren't an accident of nature.

Shortly after he'd come to live with "Uncle Willie", Willie took Chase out into the pasture to literally chase fireflies. And in this activity Willie attempts to drive home the fact that Chase's birth and his presence in their home wasn't an accident...a father's attempt to tell his son the truth of who he was?


On this night: Unc turned the jar in his hand. "Scientist say that these things evolved this way over millions of years." He shook his head. "That's a bunch of bunk. I don't think an animal can just all of a sudden decide it wants to make a light grow out its butt. What kind of nonsense is that? Animals don't make light." He pointed to the stars. "God does that. I don't know why or how, but I'm pretty sure it's not chance. It's not some haphazard thing he does in his spare time." He looked at me..."Chase, I don't believe in chance." He held up the jar. "This isn't chance, neither are the stars...And neither are you. So, if your mind is telling you that God slipped up and might have made one giant mistake when it comes to you, you remember the fireflies butt."



No one says it quite like Uncle Willie does...



How many of us have thought that we were a mistake? That somehow, God was sleeping on the job the day He created us.



I know I have. I've railed at heaven, pointblank asking God is he was sure...suer about loving me...did He really mean to make me the odd person that I am...I have even been so bold as to ask Him why He made me a woman...



And He...being the loving [and wise] God that He is...let me finish bitching...and answered me in so many different ways. Letting me know that He most assuredly loves me, that He meant this odd creature and even enjoys her antics...I am fearfully and wonderfully made...covered by His hand even while in the womb. At the time I was writing this up, He hadn't really answered as to why He made me a woman. I believe that He has since answered that, but that is another blog post :)



I remember one night at church, a few years back...one of the prophetic men in our church was praying over me. This is a man that I don't always like, and sometimes take his prophetic words with a grain of salt, remembering that he is a man and therefore fallible. This night though, what he spoke reverberated so deeply, that I knew it was from God. "You are not a mistake or an accident. Your very conception wasn't from an act of lust or even of love between your parents, but it was ordained by God." Well, that's not a direct quote, but you get the idea.



Thing is...my parents waited 5 years for me. Mom even went to the doctors to see if there was anything wrong with her reproductive system...which there wasn't. Doctor just said to be patient and to keep on trying. Which they did and I was born {No! Really? LOL!} Sean, the man praying for me, had no way of knowing this...and I'm not sure I ever did tell him...



Hmmm...maybe I'm a little more special than I thought after all...


Indeed.....aren't we all?

2 comments:

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You might have been a while, but worth waiting for.

Anonymous said...

I am just glad he made you woman, and not a woman with a light in your butt...haha!