Monday, October 17, 2005

Don't!!

Shelly - don't take any lessons from me! I'm not doing too well at the moment.

I must confess - I'm battling depression right now. I'm angry and so I'm getting sarcastic which only ever gets me into deeper trouble with the people in my life.

I mean, I shouldn't be depressed. the Bible says that God will meet all my needs...and yet I am facing going hungry in order to pay my bills...and yet my hours continue to go down at the library. the Bible says that I am loved...and the ones I counted as friends have decided that they don't and since they were ones who often conveyed the love of God to me...I doubt...not so much God's love but the calling that I thought was on my life. And if I've been wrong about that, then what else have I been wrong about?

On the other hand, we have services at church tonight and maybe the speaker will say something extraordinary that will reaasure me...I am praying that there will be something...to either conform what I've thought the calling was or to confirm that it is indeed 'not'.

I'll work on the next installment of the Princess series tomorrow. Promise! :)

5 comments:

utenzi said...

I hope you can get more hours Ciera. Food is quite important. Shelter and clothing too.

Rob said...

I understand your depression. Yes, it may not make sense that a Christian could get depressed, and yet...

Hang in there. I've been where you are, still go there from time to time.

flu said...

You are loved, silly. More than you realize.

...but being hungry distorts reality and perception.

I hope things pick up!

Cliff said...

OK, just for the record, I'm not trying to preach. I'm actually trying to exhort and encourage, but if I start preaching, just tell me to shut up.
Nehemiah tells us that the joy of the Lord was his strength. Let's of people have taken that to mean that God will make us happy if we trust Him. Well, as true as that might be, I don't think that's what it really means. I think that Nehemiah was talking about God's joy, not ours. I do believe that we get strength from God's joy. When we are feeling down, (which is not an unspiritual thing) we can draw strength from His joy. That is my prayer for you.
Lord, would you give Ciera strength that can only come from your joy? Please do. Also, would you cause your joy to overflow onto her and out of her, and would you please speak to her about her calling? I praise you Lord, for you are a good God, and I know how you love Ciera so greatly. Would you please bless her indeed? Amen.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ciera, depression is something that can eat away at an individual. Don't let that happen to you; you have so many friends around.