Monday, November 07, 2005

Solitary Knight

OK, so I was perusing Rob's blog a little and found an excellent essay on, of all things, Batman Begins - along with a few other movies he threw in to illustrate his point. If you want to read it... Go Here!!

One of his comments that caught my attention was this one - "A hero’s journey is a solitary one into uncharted territory."

It is somewhat daunting. I am prepared, sort of, for the loneliness that I feel approaching me...that has already seized me. My friend was a large part of my day...well, ok, afternoon. And we did a lot of stuff together, and not just socially. I was her helper for the kids prayer meeting, and I did my best to help her in whatever she was doing. Well, now she's not doing anything and has in so many words told me to bug off. So - I've bugged off -----and now face hours of being alone. I know, I know....it's one of the "great" things about being single....and I am soooo tired of hearing that.....like any of the married people that I know who have said that to me would give up their spouses and kids for very long in trade of my hours of alone time. But anyway.

There are some things that must be done alone. The entire "wilderness" experience is usually alone [not counting the millions of Jews in the Exodus!!!] Jesus spent hours alone with His Father, it was the source of His strength. And I just happened across the story of when Jesus fed the 5000 - guess where it took place??? In the wilderness. And Mark 1:35 - "Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed."

And yet - I feel so scared. Not of spending time alone with God - - - but of trying and not finding Him there. I have sat with my Bible for countless hours over these past few months and haven't really "felt" anything...which I know sets me up for countless 'It's not about what you feel" comments. yeah yeah. And what if I get something wrong? I can't go to pastor with every little question I come up with. Used to, but the truth is, he doesn't have time for me like he used to.

And yet - God sets the solitary in families [Psalm 68:6]. And I've just had mine taken away from me....not my 'biological' one so don't get your shorts in a wad Cliff. I mean, I haven't just lost my friend, but her entire family which she said I was a part of. Even the dog! I haven't got a dog anymore. Good Lord, listen to me and how selfish I am!

And yet - It is not good for man to be alone. [Genesis 2:18]

you're not laughing at me, are you Rob? Or chuckling, I mean.


Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

3 comments:

utenzi said...

Off topic here, Ciera. Have you ever gone to the following site?

Noaz

I think you might find it interesting. The fellow is a former pastor of a congregation out west.

Ciera said...

Utenzi - I have now :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

All of our journeys are through uncharted territories.