Here is a "squirrel story" as my brother asked for. A brief background: a few years back, my Pastor was sick and we spent some time doing stuff just to encourage him and lift his spirits. I wrote two short stories for him, the second one had this squirrel in it. Pastor pulled a fast one and had his wife read it to the congregation the next Sunday. And the squirrel story was born. Here is one I wrote for him not to long ago, after he had problems with pidgeons roosting on the roof of the parsonage.
The Other Side of Reality
By: R.A. Slater
Flock of a Different Feather
“Stupid birds,” muttered Pastor Norm. “They’re messing up my new roof!”
It was true. There were like seventy [ahem - - - three] birds on the roof of the parsonage. And they were all settling in for the night, doing their business on the nice new shingles.
Pastor Sharon was working in the kitchen when she happened to notice her husband walking by the window with the water hose in hand. At first, she thought nothing of this. After all, it hadn’t rained in a while and all the flowers needed water. It wasn’t she saw water dripping off the roof that she though to wonder.
What could Pastor be doing?
Curious, Pastor Sharon set down her washrag and went outside. There she saw her husband watering the roof.
“Honey?” she asked. “What are you doing.”?
Pastor smiled mischievously at her. “I’m baptizing my flock.”
“What?” she exclaimed, wondering if perhaps he had been out in the sun too long.
Pastor Norm laughed and explained, “There are pigeons on our new roof and I’m trying to scare them off.”
Sharon moved a little closer and looked. Sure enough. “Get ‘em, Poppa.”
However, the birds weren’t going to go so easily. Chattering among themselves [making comments about Bapticostals who stood outside at night to watch flowers open but wouldn’t share their roof] the three birds merely moved to the peak of the roof where the water house couldn’t reach.
Mirth, the squirrel that lived quite happily in the pastors’ TREE, like a normal animal should, heard the sound of water and left his book to see if it had finally decided to rain. Nooooooooo. Of course not. Pastor Norm was just watering his roof. Mirth was about to go back inside, but then realized that something was amiss…..Pastor was doing what????
Mirth scampered down from his tree, and since the roof was wet, he had to race around the house on the ground. On the other side, he found the two pastors calmly standing next to each other, as water poured out onto the roof from the hose in Pastor Norm’s hand.
“What’s going on?” the squirrel asked, nimbly climbing up Pastor to perch on his shoulder.
“Pigeons,” answered Sharon. “On the roof.”
Mirth looked. “Stupid birds.”
“That’s what I said,” commented Pastor Norm.
Mirth had a bold moment of stupidity. “I’ll take care of this. Just have your bottling of anointing oil handy in case I need it.”
With that, the squirrel leapt from Pastor’s shoulder and disappeared.
“What do you suppose…” began Sharon, then trailed off as Mirth appeared on the roof. “Mirth – you be careful!”
What a ruckus ensued! Mirth had taken the three pigeons by surprise and in short order had scared them off. There were a few feathers floating in the air as the squirrel returned to his pastors.
“If they come back, just call me.” With that, the squirrel disappeared.
Pastors looked at each other, not sure what to make of the event. But that night as they watched the pigeons circle their abode and turn and go the other way…the two were quite happy and decided to let Mirth have extra Acorns the next day to show their gratitude.
Mirth was just happy to get back to reading his book.